we all know about the war on drugs i did
not inhale
and the war on abortion life begins at
conception then why did you block a 500
relief payout for pregnant women because
life begins at birth okay well then you
must be okay with abortion
life begins at controlling women's
bodies well i guess that explains why
you're against birth control
but did you know about the war on
masturbation
uh yeah in the 1850s there was believed
to be a condition called
spermatoruria which was basically the
female version of hysteria
which was described as involuntary
seminal loss
usually by a nocturnal emission which in
regular talk is you're losing too much
sperm bro especially in those wet dreams
of yours it was very commonly said by
victorian doctors that
masturbation aka self-abuse leads to
more death than all of history's wars
and epidemics really yes it also has an
eclectic range of negative symptoms like
vertigo
migraine cerebral congestion melancholy
hysteria
convulsion wreckage drooling daunting
growth
paralysis chronic weakness palpitations
well then why does it feel so good and
relieve the stresses of the day
i'm sorry are you a doctor do you have a
doctor's education
unless you are the one female accepted
into harvard medical school this year
1850
due to social reform then i don't think
so it just seems implausible that
touching oneself has caused more
death than all of history's wars and
epidemics combined okay i didn't make
reality's rules okay does it seem
implausible that my sperm is made up of
tiny microscopic men
that digging giant holes in the ground
leads to rain that blowing tobacco
up the butthole heels especially in
reviving drowning victims
yes actually a lot of that seems very
implausible that is what science is
my point is do not self-abuse perhaps
buy yourself a leather chassity belt and
if you have a husband buy him some
anti-masturbation armor as well
there is a plethora of options
i hate this century doctors warned
married men to limit the amount of sex
they had they told unmarried men not to
have sex at all and to particularly
avoid
masturbation and a lot of these
preventative devices created
the bowdoin device the jugam penis were
actually just
incredibly painful for men anytime they
had an erection
fun fact a woman named ellen e perkins
created a cloth bodysuit
with metal plates as sexual armor when
she was asked why she created this
she said it is a deplorable but
well-known fact that one of the most
common causes of insanity
imbecility and feeble-mindedness
especially in youth
is due to masturbation or self-abuse
ellen even patented her device look
january 1906
she thought she would make a fortune
with this unfortunately these views
didn't go away until the end of the 19th
century
when dr james paguette questioned the
very existence of
spermatororia thankfully men were
eventually told that hey
sorry guys masturbation is actually not
as bad as we thought
and we're really sorry we told you that
it caused an unspeakable amount of death
and pain
i'm anna akana i didn't even try to get
a sponsor for this video because i don't
know
who would dare so stay awesome gotham
and in the name of all the men and women
from the 1850s
treat yourself to a little self-abuse
today