- Are you a sheep or a lizard? - Let's talk about that.
♪ (theme music) ♪
- Good Mythical Morning! - Thank you for making us a part of
- your daily routine. - Link, what is your opinion on lizards?
I respect lizards, but I do not touch them.
- Really? They're tough to catch. - Yeah.
You catch 'em by the tail sometimes, and then they get away and
- you keep the tail. - My kids try to catch them,
and I act like I'm not afraid while they're doing it.
What if I told you that they were in a secret space station inside the moon
controlling everything you think?
- (forced evil laughter) - I would say...
I would say I wouldn't believe you, unless you started shaking your head
and laughing manically under your breath. And then I'd be like, "Okay, I'm in."
- Or whatever this is. - Well, that's an oversimplification of
something that a man named David Icke does believe, and I have been introduced
into the world of David Icke. I have spent a lot of time just...
- You and Dave? - I feel like I went to the moon space
station. I feel like I've gone, and I've come back, and I'm here to report
to you and the Mythical Beasts on what I have learned.
Okay. So this is like a public service announcement.
- Not really. - This is like a crash course in, uh...
- lizards? - Yeah. Crash course in lizards.
- Tell me about it. - Lizards 101. Okay, David Icke:
he believes that the world is controlled by a race of 12-foot-tall, bloodsucking
shapeshifting alien reptilian-human hybrids.
- What? - That's a bold claim, and so I'm going
to give you a little of bit of background, okay?
- Well, bold's one adjective I would use. - (laughing)
- Another one is crazy. - You don't believe it?
- And awesome! Sounds awesome. - It remains to be seen.
Okay, he's a guy that played soccer back in the 70s...
- Oh! - …or football as they call it where he
played it, which is in England. And he only played for a little bit, but then he
because a sportscaster and actually became a public figure in England.
- He was well known as this sportscaster. - Oh, really? Okay.
Think Bob Costas without the pink eye at the Olympics.
- In 1990, he was in a bookstore, - (Link and crew offscreen laughing)
as sportscasters love to frequent bookstores, and he heard a voice telling
him to go to a certain section. And this wasn't from the intercom, like,
- "Science books on sale." - It's wasn't like a libr--
It was a librarian whispering through there, like...
- No. - "You should check out…"
- What did he check out? - Well, it was the psychic section.
- (laughing) - "You should check out the...
- …psychic section." - So it was a voice. He actually felt a
magnetic force pulling him toward the section, which would be a great thing
to install at Barnes & Noble, if you're listening.
- "Go to the psychic session. Section." - (stammering) It happened to him.
And he goes to the psychic section. There's a book by a particular psychic.
He decides not just to read her book, but to visit her. Anyway, during his
visit with her, she basically tells him that he is special, and that the spirit
world is going to bring messages to Earth through him. He took this
incredibly seriously.
- And so are you. - How seriously?
Well, in 1991, very shortly after the psychic woman interaction, he held a
press conference -- again, this is a public figure. Think Bob Costas.
This is like Bob Costas doing a press conference.
- Okay. - Saying that, "The world is coming
to an end, and also, I am the son of the Godhead."
He was wearing a turquoise track suit while he did this...
- (laughing) Really? - …which is a keen detail.
Because he was also entering the turquoise period.
- Where… like once a month? - That's what he calls it, man.
And this isn't just like something your wife goes through in May.
- This was… (stammering) - (Everyone on and offscreen laughing)
He was in a period where he felt like he had...
- My wife does not wear track suits. - And I just realized -- first of all,
this was not intentional. I swear to you that wearing this shirt was not
intentional. I was not intentional. Which means that...
- Ahh… It's getting to you, man. - …the freaking thing is true!
He goes through this period where he's wearing this turquoise...
- That's not a track suit, though. - …track suit, or turquoise in general,
because it brought him closer to God, and also helped channel positive energy.
- Sure. - Of course, he's saying these things.
This gets a little bit of attention, so he gets invited onto a talk show,
The Terry Wogan Show, major British talk show, where this happens.
Was it a great shock for you to discover this at 38?
- Well, I think the… - (audience laughing)
I think it was gobsmacks. But again...
You know the best way of removing negativity is to laugh and be joyous.
So I'm delighted that there's so much laughter in the audience tonight.
- (interviewer) But no one said… - (audience laughing)
- But just let me say this... - They're laughing at you.
- They're not laughing with you. - (audience laughing)
- Fine. - (laughing and applause)
Poor guy. I mean, he was trying to spin the laughter.
And they're laughing at him. And I guess I was laughing at him right before
- this. Now I feel bad about it. - Well, he does have like a hockey cut,
- and he is in the track suit. - The track suit looks good, though.
I like the track suit. I got no problems with the track suit.
- Yeah. - The track suit -- I'm totally on board
- with the track suit. - But what is this? You go on a show...
- …and then you just get laughed off. - So what basically...
- There's no "this" to it. - Everything kind of unravelled for him
- after that point. He was a laughingstock - Oh.
in England and beyond. And he couldn't go into a pub without being made fun of,
he was being chased by the paparazzi, people were like, "It's Bob Costas."
I'm putting it in terms for you. "Bob Costas is crazy. He always
- wears a track suit." - Mhm.
So this got to a point where he was willing to just let go. He had no
reservations, and he just started saying exactly what he thought, which is
he believes the world is controlled by a small group of people called
The Babylonian Brotherhood. Kinda like the Illuminati. You know, they've
infiltrated the government and they're running the world. They're the people who
are really in control. Not the puppets like the presidents and the prime
ministers, but actually The Babylonian Brotherhood.
- But they're shapeshifting lizards? - They're shapeshifting, human-lizard
hybrids, Link. Because back in Babylonian times thousands of years ago,
these lizard aliens came to Earth and they mated -- that's the international
symbol for mating, at least on Good Mythical Morning it is.
- No, it's not. - And they mated and they made a
human-lizard hybrid people that have started this race. There's multiple
races, but let's keep it simple. They've started a race of hybrids that have,
through the generations, ruled the world. You can't tell it because they're
shapeshifting. You can't just look at 'em. They don't have weird eyes, or anything.
They don't smell like they've been in a pet store. They are just these
hybrid shapeshifters. But here's a few people that he believes are these
lizard people. Queen Elizabeth II, the Bush family -- that's the first
George and the second George -- Bob Hope, Al Gore, Kris Kristofferson...
- (Link) Kris Kristofferson! - …country singer and actor,
(Rhett) and Boxcar Willie. This is the most...
- He's a country music singer too, right? - He is. And this is the most convincing
to me, because he has a song called 16 Chickens and a Tambourine.
- I'm sure it's a great… - (Rhett) And he also believes...
- ♪ (16 Chickens and a Tambourine) ♪ - …that the moon...
-♪ (All I need in life) ♪ I don't know how it goes.
…the moon is like the Death Star. It's an empty space -- it's a planetoid.
It's empty and the lizards are in there. They have control over it, and it's like
a satellite that is broadcasting what he calls a moon matrix, which causes you
and me and everyone on Earth to not be able to see reality for what it is.
- It's being broadcast. - Now, the moon matrix I do believe in.
- Oh, good. - I've been with that for years.
- Track suit, moon matrix. - Right.
- I'm partially… - I've said all these outlandish things.
Here's the interesting thing, Link. I don't know if this guy's crazy.
- He may not be. - Okay, before Rhett tries to convince me
of that dubious statement, it's time for
- ♪ (fanfare) ♪ - (Link) Breaking News!
Okay, this is a segment where we have written "news" stories for each other,
and we're gonna read them from our individual teleprompters. And the
person who laughs or breaks the most loses.
And we have not read this at all. We wrote it for each other, and this is the
first time that we're seeing this news. And I'm going first, right?
- Yes, go! - Breaking news! At approximately
6:23 AM this morning, a local hero saved the life of a stray cat. According to
eyewitnesses, the feline had become lodged inside of raw chicken while dumpster
diving for dinner. Residents say the cries sounded something like
Ohhhhch! Bleeeeeeeach!
Meeer! Meery-meer-meow!
- The rescuers (stammering) authorities… - (incorrect buzzer)
identified as Ben Dover was able to free the cat by eating the entire
raw chicken around it. Dover contracted salmonella and died shortly thereafter
from aggressive doody-poops. (laughing)
- (incorrect buzzer) - I am told he have footage.
- No? Okay. - That's not a break, 'cause I haven't
started. Breaking news. Yesterday, a local man received a tattoo of
his family on his chest. Upon arriving at home and getting a good look at it,
he noticed the extraordinarily poor artisanship of the tattoo. Instead of
his wife, daughter, and stepson, it appeared that the tattoo was a
- bulldog, a Muppet, and a demon. - (incorrect buzzer)
A statement from the offending tattoo parlor, Are You Inking What I'm Inking,
- reads… (laughing) - (incorrect buzzer)
"When his chest hair grows back, his wife will look less like a demon
but his stepson kinda actually looks like a Muppet.'
Breaking news, and now an update to a recent story we reported on a
tutor who tooted the flute. Well, he has now tried to tutor two
tutors to toot. Said the two to the tutor, "Is it tougher to toot or
to tutor two tutors to toot?" The tutor refused to comment on
- this story. (holding in laughter) - [inaudible] (incorrect buzzer)
- Right there at the end. A big one! - (Rhett and crew offscreen laughing)
- Breaking news. I have scorched -- (laughing) I have a scorching rash.
I can't tell you where. It's all I can think about. It's itchy. It itches.
Ahhh! Ahhhh!
Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of out lives.
Breaking news! Researchers at the Institute for the Travel and
Human Reanimation are celebrating today. What a bunch of losers.
- Gerr! (laughing) - (incorrect buzzer)
Okay, break -- bar… barking goose.
Gaaaaarf! Garf.
Myaaaa! Gaaaaaaarh
Gaaah! Ee- gonk-gonk-gonk-gonk-gonk!
- Where the bread at? (laughing) - (incorrect buzzer)
- Eeenh! That was a laugh. - That's a break. Okay.
- But I still win. - Okay, congratulations, Link.
- (Rhett) This has been Breaking News. - (Link) Barking Goose?
- Okay, so… - You're about to convince me that
David Icky… is… That's not how you say it.
- Icke. - Icke. Is, um...
I'm not gonna convince you of anything. Your brain is your own.
- Something to think about. - I don't have a matrix broadcasting
- towards you. It's just not as simple - Okay.
as just saying, "Oh, he believes these crazy things, and that's it."
- I'm just gonna give you the full story. - Okay.
So is he just a crazy dude in a track suit that nobody listens to?
No. He has a massive following. Millions of people.
- Really? - Huge following. Just couple of his
notable fans: Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins, Russel Brand,
Noel Gallagher of Oasis, and many more, not just some celebrities. But he goes
on these tours around the world, and he does eight-hour-long lectures...
- Like in hotel lobbies. - …and thousands of people --
- No, in like theaters. - Hotel rooms. Really.
No, he sold out the Wembley Arena. That's over 12,000 seats.
- Wow. - And people show up, and they stand
in line, and they're super excited, and they're huge fans, because this is
- a movement. - So he gives...
There are some of them that are watching right now.
- So eight-hour-long seminars. - And they're totally into it.
You watch one of these lectures and they're like… you know, he's a very
charismatic guy, and he's funny, and he's got some interesting visuals,
he's got this message that really
- resonates with people. - Does he not mention the lizards?
- Is that really what it is? - Oh, no. He talks about the lizards.
But lemme get to that. He also wrote 15 books in 16 years that these people
love to read, including one where he's completely naked on the cover.
Here it is for your viewing pleasure. I am Me I am Free.
- A lot of people have bought that book. - Is it a non-fiction?
It's all his theories together. 15 books in 16 years, man.
What he says resonates with a lot of people. You know, because it...
- Why? - …isn't just about the lizards. It's
about not trusting the media. It's about how people like sheep; they're easily
controlled. That we should be caring for one another. That, you know,
it isn't as it seems. The media is controlled. All these things that I think
- a lot of people can really agree with. - Yeah, okay.
But then he does bring in the lizard people, and he's not ashamed of it.
But here's an interesting way to see that. A lot of people think that this is a
satire type of thing. That he's got all this stuff that he's telling you, and
he's throwing in the lizard thing almost as an analogy, just to get you to think
- about reality in a different way. - Like the Colbert Report or something?
Yeah, he purposefully doing satire. Now, having watched a bunch of his
interviews, I don't think that's what's going on. I think this is a better theory,
and some people believe this. Is that he's actually part of the conspiracy himself.
He is actually an agent of the secret society. Meaning he's saying a bunch of
things that are true, and then he's saying a bunch of things that are just crazy,
like the lizard and the Moon, so that you...
Discredit the lizard and then discredit that they don't want you to believe is true.
'Cause you're like, "Crazy people believe in that secret society! You hear about the
moon matrix and the lizard and stuff?" But it actually is true, and they put
him out there as an agent to confuse people. That's an interesting theory.
Which would mean that me and you are now part of the conspiracy,
because we said how crazy he was and talked about the lizards and the
track suit. We're just part of the system now, Link.
- (Link) Or, you are. - And we don't even know it.
- I'm a lizard. - Person.
- Hybrid. I'm very tall. Are you?
Maybe you guys are familiar with this. Maybe you've been to some of these
eight-hour-long lectures. Let us know in the comments.
Thanks for liking and commenting and subscribing.
You know what time it is.
Hey, whats up? This is Wayne from Jacaranda FM in
South Africa, and it's time to spin The Wheel of Mythicality!
For other breaking news, make sure you follow us on Twitter!
twitter.com/rhettandlink. That's us. We have a Twitter. Ha ha.
And also click through to Good Mythical More. I wanna share
an interesting encounter that I had while going to physical therapy.
- (Rhett) Woop woop woop! - ♪ (brass fanfare and bells ringing) ♪
- Finally, we got one of these again! - Oh, congratulations. GMMWinFace!
(Rhett & Link) Corvus… Shy-baraaa...
(Rhett) You win a personalized Good Mythical Morning.
I don't like watching people floss, but when it's...
- (robot voice) Corvus Hey-eye-bara. - …I don't mind.
Right, right. I would actually buy tickets to watch...
- (robot voice) Corvus Hey-eye-bara. - …floss.
[Captioned by Kevin: GMM Captioning Team]