A famous rapper once asked the poignant question, what’s your fantasy?
A recent survey has the answer and it’s not what you think.
Hey everyone, Julia here for Dnews.
Let’s be honest, most people fantasize about sex.
These mental images can be a quick flash in a pan picture or a long drawn out narrative
of a picnic and romp on the beach.
But contrary to a recent popular novel-turned-movie, most people’s fantasies are really tame.
The most common fantasy for both men and women?
Having romantic feelings for someone while engaging in sexual activity.
Yeah you heard me right, FEELINGS are the most common fantasy.
So says a study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
But to be fair it was a self-reported Canadian study and surprisingly no maple syrup was
involved.
But men and women are for the most part on the same page.
The three top fantasies for women
Having sex in a romantic location like on a deserted beach.
(84.9%) Having sex in an unusual place, such as in
the office or a public toilet.
(81.7%) Taking part in oral sex.
(78.5%)
Top Three fantasies for men
Taking part in oral sex.
(87.6%) Having sex with two women.
(84.5%) Having sex with someone that I know who is
not my spouse.
(83.4%)
Yeah, pretty vanilla.
Other findings?
Both straight men and women frequently fantasize about having sex with the same gender more
than scientists previously thought.
Domination and submission also proved common.
What’s interesting about this survey, it reinforces how women very much separate the
fantasy from desire.
While some admitted to imagining scenes of domination, they would NEVER want that to
happen in real life.
Women love to read about it, but would never want to actually meet Mr. Grey in an elevator.
While most men on the other hand tend to equate fantasy with desire.
So why do we fantasize at all?
Sexual fantasies for a long time were considered sinful or a sign of illness.
Sexual fantasies in women were once a sign of Hysteria!
Oh Victorian social norms, how wrong you were.
Well, now we see fantasies as healthy and important parts of the sexual process.
For both men and women fantasizing starts the sexy juices flowing.
Which might help women who feel like they have trouble getting into sexy time.
The more sexual fantasies you have, the more sexual desire you feel.
Fantasies can be a great way for couples to build trust and intimacy, either through sharing
them or acting them out, and half of all couples do discuss fantasies.
It’s a great way to mix up a marriage without messing up the monogamy.
Talking about fantasies leads to better communication and better sex, which can lead to a happier
relationship, which can lead to greater life satisfaction.
The trouble with fantasy comes when people use it not as a way to intimacy but as a way
to create distance between them and their partner.
Let’s say you imagine someone else other than your partner or imagine you’re not
there in order to dissociate from the experience.
No matter what your fantasy is, well unless it’s harmful to other people, children and/or
animals, it can be good for you!
A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletins suggests that fantasizing
about sex improves analytical reasoning!
Daydreaming about love stimulates creativity.
Which explains all the poems, songs and art.
And we know from previous research here at DNews how daydreaming is good for the brain.
So give a boost to your biggest sexual organ, your brain.
Go forth and fantasize!
Guys, I am NOT gonna ask you about your sexual fantasies so just keep ‘em to yourself,
but tell me this: Is there a science topic you want us to cover?
Any questions you want us to answer?
Leave them in the comments below and be sure to hit subscribe for more DNews every day
of the week.