(piano music)
- I was actually born in Busan and then adopted
by my parents in Iowa and pretty much lived there
my whole life, 'till I was like 23.
And then that's when I came over to Korea, you know
to search for my birth mother.
Yeah, growing up was like hard for me, right?
Because like I didn't have any Korean friends.
I mean, everybody around me was like white, white people
'cause this is in the middle of Iowa.
In high school I was kind of like, made fun of
a lot just because like I couldn't say the letter R
so I never talked, I didn't have a lot of friends.
I always was getting in trouble.
Had like a 1.6 GPA.
So the reason I got like such a low GPA
like my first year is
because I never participated in class, right?
My palms were sweaty and like, I hated like
reading in front of class, doing public speeches.
So I always just kept things very brief and short.
And so I think it was that.
And then also just because like, you know
I looked a little bit different
and like spoke a little bit different that I was like, I
I kind of like a misfit
didn't fit in until I found like break dancing.
And then everything changed and everyone thought I was cool.
A friend of mine gifted me this break dance DVD
How to Break Dance by Mike Garcia, I think it was called.
And I just started watching it
fell in love with it and started, you know, practicing
and practicing and, you know, working and working.
And I met other, like, people that did it like in
at other schools and actually was a participant on
So You Think You Can Dance later on.
Very brief, like made it to round four
audition LA, so dance really be changed my life
and it became my life for several years.
So it was always my
my dream to like come back and just like learn
about my culture and you know, meet Korean friends
try Korean food, try to find my birth parents.
So it was always a dream
of mine to just like come to Korea and, you know
explore and learn about my roots, during college.
Like I made a five year plan and, you know
first year was like I wanted to like give
back and help refugees and second year was like
I wanted to find my birth mother
and go back to Korea right after college.
Yeah I did the volunteer work and then actually I met a
a North Korean refugee
while I was volunteering 30 hours a week
at this place called World Relief.
And my boss was like, Zach
you should come in and meet this woman, you know
she's from North Korea and she just kind of, you know
poured out her heart and shared her story.
And she was actually the one who like really
inspired me to go back to South Korea
and find my roots and try to find my mom.
And so I would say that was that moment
that I was just like, okay, this is where I'm gonna go next.
And that following year, yeah, I just moved
to Korea, in the beginning it felt super weird, right?
Because, you know, again, like I grew up in Iowa.
I never like had any Korean friends.
I never like had like
knew any Korean people until I moved out of Iowa and
and then searched for my mom and met my mom in
in Busan, in the beginning it was weird, but also cool.
I was like, you know, like these are my people.
These like, I finally sort of felt like at home
and at peace, you know, like where I could just be me.
A lot of like different culture shocks.
I was just like, yo
like as soon as I arrived to like Busan, I was like, yo
I've never seen so many Korean people before.
It was kind of a weird awkward feeling at first.
And then one was just like the jjimjilbangs 찜질방, right?
You know, I've never experienced that before and being naked
with a bunch of dudes, but at the time it was
like a little bit weird, but I was just like
sometimes you just gotta embrace the awkwardness
and the weirdness and just like go with it.
I remember just, you know
certain times just like in the taxi rides or just
trying to be like order food at restaurants
people would almost get mad at me 'cause
I didn't speak Korean.
And so it was kind of like
it was rough like during the first half of the
year just because it's culture shock.
But eventually things got better.
I learned like a little bit
of Korean to just kind of get by.
And then, you know, I had a really good time.
I moved to Busan like beginning of like 2010.
And then I contacted my adoption agency, Holt International.
I had some meetings with them
filled out a bunch of papers and stuff.
And then they started, you know
doing the search the whole time.
Like, I was just like super anxious.
I was like, man, when is this gonna happen?
Is this gonna ever happen?
Like my visa and my school year was almost up, it was
like the last week of like my contract that I got an email
from my adoption agency saying, Zach, you know
we found your mom.
Like, when can you come to Seoul?
And I was like, tomorrow, I, you know, booked a train
KTX all the way to Seoul, got in
got to the room and I was like, aren't you gonna prepare me?
Like, what do I say to my mom?
And they're like, oh, just go in.
So I just, you know, opened the door.
They pushed me in and she ran up to me, gave me hugs.
She was like, I love you son.
You know, I've been praying, wishing
hoping that you'd come back someday.
And yeah, I just felt, you know, so good and so happy
and it's like really like a dream come true.
You know?
I've been wanting to meet her forever
and it happened, yeah
I was feeling a bunch of different emotions
like just a lot of excitement and nervousness, you know
I didn't know how she was gonna like respond and
like react and stuff, but she just, you know, embraced me
and she was there with a friend and, you know, everyone was
like crying and just happy and laughing and, you know
at the same time it was like that was cool.
But then also, like we had the translators there
so it did feel a little bit weird trying to communicate
and talk back and forth.
But yeah, still like one of the best days of my life
all I simply said
to my mom when I met her was like, I love you too.
You know?
I try not to think so much and, you know
think about the past or think about like what happened
or what could have happened or, you know, dwelling it.
The easy part was actually finding her, like they said
because she actually wanted to be found.
Some people, they disappear, they become like ghosts.
They don't want anything to do with you.
So I'm very grateful and blessed
that she actually wanted to build a relationship with me.
And so now the hard part, the challenging part
is just building that genuine relationship.
Learning the language, the culture
spending time creating memories together.
Like that's what I've been working on now.
You know, building relationships can be tricky, right?
Especially like when you're trying to do it long distance.
We were doing like phone calls
and Skypes and stuff like that, but I was just like
if I really want to build a relationship with my mom
I gotta be there, be with her and, you know
create memories and try new foods and experiences, do
you know, have some beautiful moments together.
So that's when I just decided, like after finding her
I moved back to Iowa doing that long distance thing.
I was like, this is not working.
And then I moved to Daejeon South Korea and took
a position as like an RA, residential advisor at
an international school in Daejeon so I could be
closer to my mom and, you know, spend more time with her.
So after my experience in like Busan and
and teaching English for a year and finding my mom
like definitely came back like different person
just like bigger, like wider perspective
and more open to the world, you know?
I actually thought like, it was funny.
I thought like I could just check my mom off the list
like my little bucket list or like my five year plan.
But what I learned is that, you know, people are
are more important than things.
You can't just cross them off the list, you know
and move on to the next thing.
It's really about building a genuine relationship.
And you can only do that
by pouring in the time the energy and, you know
positive deposits into each other's life.
Yeah, it was a good thing and I'm happy I did it.
My name is Zach Benson.
This is my Korean American story.
(piano music)