VOICE In a world full of crime, one man
is determined to kill Batman once and for all, his name...is director
Joel Shumacher.
VOICE (CONT'D) Batman & Robin.
VOICE (CONT'D) Watch Academy Award-winning ladies
man George Clooney phone it in as Batman. A hero capable of
performing impossible feats...except for moving his
neck...or body
VOICE (CONT'D) Unfortunately he's not alone. In a
film full of way too many supporting characters, he's
bringing even more:
VOICE (CONT'D) Robin! A naggy sidekick you AND
Batman will both want to punch in the face!
VOICE (CONT'D) And Alfred's British niece Batgirl.
Who talks like Cher from Clueless.
VOICE (CONT'D) Together they'll all awkwardly wait
for this movie to be over.
VOICE (CONT'D) Witness Shumacher's creepy rubber fetish, as his camera lingers on...
VOICE (CONT'D) Bat crotch
VOICE (CONT'D) Bat butt
VOICE (CONT'D) Bat bewbs
VOICE (CONT'D) And male bat nips.
VOICE (CONT'D) Poison Ivy wants to cover the world
in plants...Mr. Freeze wants to cover the world in ice...They'll
team up even though their goals are completely incompatible...
VOICE (CONT'D) To make the most puns ever!
VOICE (CONT'D) And their bad puns are just the tip of the iceberg...
VOICE (CONT'D) OK that one didn't even make sense.
VOICE (CONT'D) So if you loved Adam West's Batman,
but wish it was even more campy, less fun, and full of grappling
hooks latching onto things...
VOICE (CONT'D) We've got the film for you!
VOICE (CONT'D) Real Life Bruce Wayne
VOICE (CONT'D) Christopher Robin
VOICE (CONT'D) The Punning Man
Coldnan The Barbarian
Kindergarten Ice Pop
Terminator Blue / Alright we get it
VOICE (CONT'D) Strom Thurman
VOICE (CONT'D) 90's Emma Stone
VOICE (CONT'D) Tom Hardly
VOICE (CONT'D) Vivica Still Not Actually A Fox
VOICE (CONT'D) And Coolio?
VOICE (CONT'D) The worst Batman ever.
VOICE (CONT'D) If you don't believe us,
just ask
the people who worked on it...