where was this chopper sappers tak
there's just news just in the bloody the
bells of London somewhere Latasha
Spanish tapas bar for gentlemen with
mustache I like you I didn't last time
it wasn't good you're nice oh I can tell
you're nice it just takes two goes at me
stop think those two are no flirting
Rachel last time Bill Bailey was on the
show you revealed that you've actually
got a bit of a crush on bill do you
think you'll be able to sort of keep
your emotions in check for CP I kind of
lost the power of speech last time
Bill's on and as soon as my producer
found out he was on again he actually
sent me an email and told me not to
disgrace or embarrass myself again my
mum actually got me a bill tickets for
my birthday so I've got an incentive not
to get a restraining order before
October you've got tickets to see bill
in October just in the house
well I'll be there because if you saw
both their pictures up like on the telly
and said which one stalking which
[Laughter]
last thing what is this and fellow um
Tony who is Tony Tony's a guy I met in
in the Emirates and we've really
connected and we've lost touch
so yeah it's basically if Tony's Tony
watches this and even if it's on YouTube
just get in touch we did have something
I didn't think it I know we did Phil
have you got a mascot yes I do Jimmy
well now I I studied engineering at
University partly for the transferable
technical skills but
let me tell you that did not work out
well I've never won tobacco from a
challenge and it's live every day that
one gets a chance to try and chat up the
math genius Rachel Riley now if I've
learned anything about women and I
haven't it's important to speak their
language so I brought with me my old
formula book from University I spent all
night last night poring over this to
come up with the perfect maths based
pickup line with which to woo Rachel
with a hundred percent effectiveness
Rachel if a train leaves Manchester for
London at the speed of 30 meters per
second at 12:20 p.m. and another train
leaves Birmingham for Newcastle at a
speed of 45 meters per second half an
hour later will you go with me
swoop swoop goes the next but the
butterfly afflicts idly avoiding the
meshed cage of love swoop swoop goes the
net but the butterfly it flits resting
and nesting in the flowers of the
adjoining field
[Applause]
but the butterfly it flits and my love
goes unanswered I butterfly why why must
you flinch but the butterfly does not
answer for it has no
you will break your hearts carry on
numbers around John you debate the
numbers shall I do this since you have
no idea what's going on probably bust hi
Rachel
hi done can I can I have one big one and
five small ones place you can thank you
John
one big one and five little ones so the
sexual tension is killing me Sean you
want to play a lot for fun sort of
personal battle between you could play
the claw I've already got him just check
you are you playing along with master
but not for Claude no money in the grass
oh I won't spit on you when we're having
sex tonight
good luck trying here without spit
now your Rachel's PA how much she is a
boss
ah very particular about the things you
know like the length of the miniskirt
she makes me wear if that's too long
that comes off and I have to do the
admin in my pants
normally making wear pasties if he's
gonna have his nipples out as well
pasties it's one of Suzy's lip
she's sweet later words about nipples
pasties nasty so then nipple tassels the
nipple tassels yeah they go on your
areola yeah
so hang on how often do you talk about
nipples then I'm yellow and you're not
yellow that's how the professionals film
sets you hear Daniel day-lewis ago I'm
yellow highlighted line I've never seen
the film where is it set New Castle in
New York you know what I'm so glad I
never got involved with you
why are you getting so to that what's
the dope from the Magic Roundabout cool
it's not about chill yes it is you are a
human affront to all women and I am a
woman don't feel great about this but I
don't hear anyone complaining you're out
the door too fast I think they have an
okay time I think your mustache is
upside down how do you know that they
really what do you say that they faked
an orgasm it's possible you don't think
I could tell the difference no get out
of here oh oh god oh god oh yeah
oh yeah right there shove it right up my
I've gone off script of it
sit the whole ham
what you got over there script I'm
auditioning for oh why are you checking
out where you die I submit my friends I
don't die in my films no if you're
watching backwards I'll watch your films
backwards why on earth would you watch
him forwards this one's a romantic
comedy your play here one of the lovers
in it but I need someone to test me on
me lines Lord likes it would you do me
this honor yeah along gratitude I've
taken the liberty to change your name to
the characters just so it's easier to
remember so I'll be playing Sean okay
Who am I playing not Sean actually Sean
I have feelings for you
what's meal I ask do I write I'm never
gonna remember that change it to busted
actually Sean I have feelings for you
bastard I need to feel your body against
mine
No I've gone blank watch me live as do I
just not sticking change that one to
bastard as well this time add a touch of
arousal me or you I need to feel your
body against mine
bustard it says have a kiss right be
gentle
No
[Applause]
to check in with dictionary corner what
have you got for us Nick I start you're
concerned that you're going to take this
too far I'm emotionally unavailable so
Thanks be strong yep you've been sitting
over there you see me sitting in Richard
I'm everything you dreamt up as a child
it's only natural I suppose to picture
me without my Clemens I'm the one that
really drives you mine you are you are
you are glad Suzi
me
[Music]
don't spoil the fantasy la-la-la-la-la
Suzie you've waited patiently
it must be agony well rest assured it's
your turn tonight I can see it in your
eyes and from the way
the size
it's so hard to put things into
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
don't fall in love
what a night
thanks to see entire Vegas during
last Tuesday
I'll give you all I can
I am just a man
I'll be gone by the morning right let's
try and do this texting
I'll sort you out financially I didn't
mean to cause you any harm
[Music]
I tried so hard to turn this off but I
guess it wasn't hard enough
[Applause]
the
I gave you
[Applause]
what brows sometimes I think you thought
I had loved her brother
we don't okay I borrow prize Susie just
comes in and she's never got a bra it's
just can I just borrow your bra Rica am
I am i asleep right now