If you want to grow up big and strong then buy my mammal utter juice products
They won't actually make you big and strong
But we've been literally saying they'll make your bones stronger for years and no one's questioned it
Yes in its runny liquid form this liquid Cow teat spray pairs perfectly with
Everything from your high fructose flakes of corn to your sugary disks of fat, or just by itself
Mmm
So fresh you can still taste the animal milk sack that we squeeze this out of ,yes
This nutrient-Rich ooze was meant for another mammal
But will tell you it's good for you by showing you that one athlete you like so much
and put on glue that looks like milk on her upper lip right, athlete? Do you have this product?
oh, what a slogan, and all those sugary treats wouldn't taste good without my
Solidified utter fat, that's right
most baked items fried items are generally cooked items use slabs of the
Fattiest part of the cow goo or sometimes you spread it on top of the baked things once they're done either way
We make sure that you're always eating it or you can have our aged cow
Titty goop depending on how long we let it get moldy changes
what kind of fancy block of solid Pus it becomes and
If we can't sell enough of it will sneak the excess into your food without you knowing it in fact
We made it possible for us to sneak it into a ton of food with some fancy politics
How do you think pizza companies made their crust taste better? It's all thanks to us
That's right even if you don't think you're buying my goo. You're buying my goo
But you're probably willingly buying my animal squishy glom because we crammed our utter goo agenda into your food
Pyramid or plate or whatever nonsense picture you subscribe to to tell you how to eat?
Healthy so you now think that you need this in your diet
Once we've brainwashed you to add my gloopy animal squirts into your diet
We've got you for good because these solidified, cow nipple drops are physically addictive
That's right when we mold our cow breast milk into these solid blocks of melty mush, it creates
Casomorphins which is an opiate more addictive than morphine
Which is good for us because if you really knew how we treat the cows, whose utter drops. We steal you wouldn't buy it
It's horrifying and unhygenic and full of hormones and drugs and literal pus and animal abuse
or maybe you do know all this, but you're too addicted to my solidified blocks of
fresh-squeezed mammal to care
If it makes you feel better to pretend that the milk tastes better when the cows are happier
We'll show you a bunch of cows in a field, but that's unrelated to our actual process so drink and eat my creamy goo
that's shot out of a larger animal stomach because look it melts which is somehow an appealing thing for eating that's
Right numb it up. I'm Roger by the way
But you can call me the Milkman
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