- Hey everybody, today I want to talk
with you about borderline personality disorder.
I've done some other videos on those,
I'll link a few of those here
and put them in the description.
But the main question that I want to talk with you today
because I've heard from a lot of you,
and there's a lot of kind of misinformation
and hateful videos going up on the internet
about borderline personality disorder,
which I'll call BPD from now on
because that is a mouthful.
And so, I want to just sort of set the record straight
because a lot of you have asked,
does being diagnosed with BPD make me a bad person?
And I don't want any of you to feel that way,
and I really hate that that's even out there.
And so I'm here to talk about it in a real way.
Now, does having BPD make me a bad person?
The short answer, if we were like, end the video now?
No.
It doesn't make you a bad person.
The thing about BPD, and I think the misunderstanding
from a lot of professionals, right,
because people can be professionals,
have their own opinions,
and not everybody's great at their jobs,
and not everybody works with BPD patients like I do.
So, with that being said,
I believe, it's my belief,
that BPD is often caused by trauma
or lack of attachment when we were young.
I say that that is usually the cause of BPD
because that's been my experience.
That's been the experience
that I've heard from a lot of you.
That's been the experience that I've heard
from a lot of my clients.
And the reason that I think that affects us,
and winds up in the end creating BDP,
is because if we don't have a secure attachment
to a primary caregiver, like a mom, a dad,
a grandma, whoever is there when we cry when we're little,
we know that we're gonna get fed,
we're gonna get diaper changed, we're gonna get soothed...
If we don't have that attachment when we're young,
then we spend our whole lives trying to fulfill that need
and to heal that attachment.
And that can lead us to fear of abandonment,
wanting people close but not trusting it,
not feeling good, then feeling good,
and we can have that kind of BPD-like symptomatology.
Does that make sense?
That's how I view it.
Now, the other part is trauma.
Now, a lot of my clients that have BPD-like symptoms,
or are diagnosed with BPD, have PTSD or C-PTSD,
had a trauma in their life,
or chronic trauma in their life.
And I have videos about that too,
I have videos about everything.
Make sure you subscribe.
Hello.
But a lot of them have had trauma in the past.
And they've described BPD to a lot of people
as emotional burn victims.
We're very sensitive, we feel everything really intensely.
Now if we've had a really traumatic past,
especially if we've had a chronic trauma,
it would make sense that we would be a little sensitive.
We might be on edge.
Things are intense.
Things make us really nervous.
There are a lot of triggers, a lot of flashbacks.
A lot of things going on that make it really difficult
to be present and to just feel emotions
without being scared of them.
With all of that being said,
would you think that maybe having a trauma in your past,
maybe having an emotionally absent caregiver,
would make you a bad person?
The answer is no, it doesn't make you a bad person.
That just means that you're going to have
a certain set of symptoms as an adult
that you may have to work a little harder to get through,
to process through, to feel okay,
to build healthy relationships.
Is it impossible?
No.
Is it difficult?
Yeah.
But life is difficult.
We all have things to overcome.
And trust me, working on BPD,
actually, I'm right next to my bookcase.
This workbook is amazing,
and if you wanna put in the time
to do DBT therapy, it can change your life.
I know it's hard, I know it's a lot of work,
but it really helps.
And the last thing I want to talk about,
is how much self-hatred and self deprecating comments,
those of us with BPD give to ourselves.
That's one of the most common symptoms that I see,
is that everything that we've felt,
everything that we're going through,
everything that we think about,
means that we're bad.
It's bad, I'm bad, I'm completely bad.
That is a firmly held belief where
a lot of these symptoms come out of.
And so at the very least, if this workbook is too much,
if you don't have the money to see a therapist,
I would start taking note of those thoughts.
You know how I talk in that video with Hannah,
about thought-dropping and arguing back
against those negative thoughts,
and doing that every day, that will help.
We have to argue against that "I'm bad" belief,
that the BPD has created in us, and we can fight back.
And that will help a lot of the symptoms,
because that kind of push pull that we feel
in relationships, like, ah, don't leave me,
go away, I don't trust you, can't get too close,
this is all too much for me...
That will stop or slow down when we don't feel
like we are such a bad person, and we're so deserving
of unhealthy, tumultuous relationships.
And so I would encourage you,
if you find yourself struggling with symptomatology
like BPD, and like I said all my videos to that
will be in the description,
and I've linked them throughout the video,
but if that's something you're struggling with,
if you can't reach out for help,
at least grab this workbook
or start talking back to that negative self talk.
Because, in my experience,
that's really what ends up holding us back.
And I hope this gives you a little hope.
I know there's a lot of negative information out there
about borderline personality disorder,
and I'm just here to tell them to shut the hell up
because I think it's all a lie,
and we all deserve the right to get better.
We all deserve to have a happy and healthy life,
and there's nothing stopping you.
And if you liked this kind of content,
and want to support our community
and support this channel,
please click here and hop over
to my Patreon account.
It's a great way for me to keep doing what I do,
and keep helping each and every one of you.
Now the other part is the trauma.
A lot of my clients have CPS...