Did you go in my room?
I-I'm sorry, but this is what I wanted to talk to you about.
That I-I know that you're a h-hoarder.
-What? -I'm sorry, okay?
-It -- It's okay. We love you. -We love you.
And we just want to help. Okay?
I had to go in your room because I smelled
what I thought could only be the stench of death.
But then I later discovered it was an unfinished
everything bagel with cream cheese,
which -- no judgment -- is way worse.
Who doesn't finish an everything bagel?
Right?
I am not playing this little game, okay?
And don't go into my room again.
-Jaimé. -Jaimé. Jaimé, wait. Hold on.
Hold on a second. Come here.
Here, babe. It's okay.
I think it's going well.
-Really good. -Yeah.
Mmm.
♪♪
Hold on. Ilana, are you using the same cheese grater
on the cheese that you're using on your feet?
Yeah. Okay. Let's dig in. Welcome back.
Okay, but just so you know, it's not that
I'm not still mad about you going into my room.
Not cool. Very not cool. -Totally not cool.
I'm glad that you're honoring your instincts.
And good for you for setting boundaries.
I just want you to explore your feelings
in a judgment-free zone, okay?
This is a safe space.
Well, not literally safe.
How about we start with looking at the most common
causes of hoarding and see if you connect with any of them?
Now, I don't want to put words in your mouth,
but hoarding often develops as a coping mechanism
for a feeling of a lack of control.
Does that resonate with you?
W-Well, obviously, before I became a citizen,
you know, I was always so anxious about my status.
And, you know, you feel this lack of control.
-Mm.
That's really when it started to all pile up.
Abbi: Okay, I-I'm sorry to interrupt.
I'm still feeling very uncomfortable in general,
and I'm also starting to feel ill,
probably because I've been eating cheese
that's mixed in with your heel skin.
I'm -- I'm so sorry that my emotions
are making you this uncomfortable.
I love you and support you. This is about Ilana's feet.
One moment, please. Abbi, relax.
I put the grater in Barbicide after I use it on my feet.
Do you think I'm an idiot?
Barbicide?
Okay, so, what I'm sensing is that the hoarding...
...provides a sense of comfort in times of stress.
It's gotten a lot worse lately, to be honest, and I don't...
I don't know why, 'cause I --
I really have been so happy with you.
I know you have, babe.
You know, I often encounter in my work
people struggling with the duality of relationships.
You know, maybe there's something
about this relationship,
even if it's going dopely, that's causing anxiety.
I'm sorry, but, Ilana, do I have to go to the hospital?
Oh, my God.
Okay, you are wasting Jaimé's hour.
Okay? This is so unprofessional! I'll handle it, okay?
[ Indistinct arguing ]
Okay, dude, just be honest with me.
Did I or did I not eat your foot cheese?
What part of "I put the cheese grater in Barbicide
before it touches the cheese" do you not understand?
And not for nothing, you're probably
lactose-intolerant 'cause you're an Ashkenazi Jew.
Or maybe you didn't know that. Okay?
And have you never sucked on a couple toes before?
-I have sucked on toes. -Really?
-Yeah. -Because you're lucky, girl.
A lot of people pay good money for my foot shavings.
They do?
Ooh! Look at these two.
Am I good, or am I good? [ Chuckles ]
All right, that is about all the time we have for this week.
Actually, we went a little bit over, but that's okay.
I want to thank you for making me confront my hoardiness,
because it made me see that I was just putting it
as a barrier for the next step in our relationship.
That's the best thing a therapist can hear.
Mi amor,
in his house in New Jersey.
-Yeah! -A house!
Oh, my goodness!
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Where the fuck is the reverse-psychology section?!
Where is it?! -Okay.
Jaimé, I don't like to say "crazy,"
but you are fuckin' nuts, okay?
Moving to Jersey?! What are you, Bruce Springsteen?!
You're like... ♪ Henh, henh, huhhhggh, eghghh ♪
But I've -- I've never done this.
So you don't even know Bruce Springsteen?
-Why would you move to Jersey? -Baby, listen.
You were right -- I need to stop self-sabotaging myself.
Now I need to take the next step with my boyfriend.
I see -- One therapy session, and now you're cured!
-Okay, great. -Not a real therapy session.
Please! It wasn't. I'm sorry. It's not.
Classic denial! You are mental, bro!
Abbi: Ilana, can I talk to you for a second?
Let me just talk to you for a second over here. Okay.
If this is about the fuckin' foot cheese,
-I swear to God, Abbi... -No, listen, dude.
I think you need to take some of your own advice.
You just told Jaimé that his hoarding problem
was due to maybe a lack of control, right?
-Yeah. -I feel like
that's happening with you right now.
I mean, him moving out is a huge deal,
and you're trying to control him.
You have to let him live his own life.
I said all that, huh?
Yeah, you did.
Hey, you guys. Fully sorry. That was stupid.
-It's okay. -It's not about me.
I am so sorry. -Mm. It's all good.
You know, this is right for you guys.
And you know what? I think I've been scared
because I have been feeling like this was coming.
Well, it's scary for me, too.
I haven't lived without you in such a long time.
But you know what? It's super easy. Just Montclair.
It's, like, across the pond, you know?
Wait. Where's Mon-claya?
-It's "Montclair." -Montclair!
Um, so, who is this Bruce Springsteen again?
Yeah, I don't really know his music.
-You don't know who The Boss is? -Mnh-mnh.
What does he sound like?
Yeah.
♪ [ Grunting ] Hey, mm, hey, he-hoo-ho ♪
♪ Hey, mm, hey, hm, hey, hmm-hmm ♪
♪ Hey, mm, baby! ♪
-Right. I-I now get the vibe. -You got it?
-Ah, yes. -I get the vibe.