2301.
Even if the rules allow it, the entire party can't be all raised by the same wolf.
2302.
The party's mutual bond can't be "former members of the Funky Bunch."
2303.
I can't bribe the dwarf with an offer of putting him up for stud.
2304.
Kissing up to a dragon until he gives us a minor trouble is acceptable, slapping us with
a restraining order not so much.
2305.
Can't use the Summon Monster spell to redefine the term "Trolling someone"
2306.
12 degrees of success on my charm test doesn't automatically earn me a commissarial backrub.
2307.
Successfully grappling the roper doesn't let me use him to play double dutch with the thief.
2308.
Even if the rules allow it, no using plaid colored light spells to to mess with the guard's
perception of movement.
2309.
If I challenge Death to a game, picking Campaign for North Africa doesn't ensure immortality.
2310.
Despite what the rules say, a ghille suit does not make me invisible in the St. Patrick's
Day parade.
2311.
No matter what it would do to his spell casting chances, I can't cast shrink on the necromancer's
undies. 2312.
You can only make so many called shots to the groin until it's an alignment check.
2313.
"Athletic Scholarship" is not an acceptable excuse to take the sage background for my
half orc barbarian. 2314.
After cleaning out their lair, I can't put all the newly petrifried medusas in my front
yard as decorations. 2315.
I will not finish any sentence containing the phrase 'Blink Ferrets."
2316.
Need to stop coming up with excuses to keep referencing page 73 of the Dungeoneer's Survival
Guide.
2317.
No matter how rude it was, I will keep all my interactions with the magic mouth at the
entry of the dungeon PG-13.
2318.
Even if the rules allow it, no dual wielding lances.
2319.
Just because it's legal to dual wield quarterstaves, tieing two together does not give me dire-nunchucks.
2320.
My rogue will accept the fact he can backstab a tridrone, even if it doesn't have a back
to stab. 2321.
We aren't using Rosie O'Donnel for a unit of measurement for any aspect of a warjack.
2322.
Yes the Demolition Corps has a dress uniform, no it's not steam powered.
2323.
Just because I bought my dice bag at the Vatican doesn't mean my dice are Catholic.
2324.
Despite the book's claim, using a double negative in the Protectorate of Menoth doesn't bring
down a death sentence.
2325.
Before making my last wish, I will make sure everybody in the party actually wants patagia.
2326.
My woad clad Pict will stop calling the lady knight critical of chainmail bikinis an overdressed
prude. 2327.
Just because acid is considered a damage type and alkaline isn't doesn't mean the DM has
a Ph imbalance.
2328.
Just because damage is non-lethal doesn't mean I can keep beating him for hours.
2329.
Gurahl come in grizzly, kodiak and polar varieties.
Not drop.
2330.
Wife's side of the family is not an acceptable choice for favored enemy.
2331.
Even if it's a gladiator campaign, we can't all be Spartacus.
2332.
When asked why the Feywild isn't in the campaign, "self inflicted nuclear holocaust" isn't the
right answer.
2333.
Even if the rules allow it, I can't have a clockwork kidney.
2334.
This goes double for a steam powered liver.
2335.
While it is customary to initiate a duel by striking with a gauntlet, it is also customary
to do it at subsonic speeds.
2336.
I will make sure any minor summoning spell gets us a lesser elemental and not jailbait.
2337.
I will not use summon spells just for sticking somebody else with the check.
2338.
Even if the rules allow it, we can't be Space Ogre Ninjas.
2339.
When providing pistols for a duel, they both can't be fingerprint locked just to me.
2340.
Even if the rules allow it, I can't spend my xp to turn the crapsack setting into a
functional Randian utopia. 2341.
Liechtenstein doesn't have a challenge rating.
2342.
Pendragon is not the best game to test Darwin's theories on survival of the fittest.
2343.
I can't spend all my starting points on concubines. 2344.
Every time the catgirl fails a skill check, I won't spritz her with the water bottle as
punishment.
2345.
I can't use the catgirl's tongue to remove paint from metal.
2346.
Even if my character's lifespan is in centuries, I can't just pour salt water over the lock
and just wait.
2347.
I also can't spend all my character points on one just really awesome concubine.
2348.
I will stop asking the Jesuit to teach me kung fu moves.
2349.
No finding industrial uses for Darkspawn. 2350.
Step one of every plan can't just be "Set them all on fire"
2351.
Even if my druid is immune to poison doesn't mean he can chug bleach with impunity.
2352.
Can't clear out the dungeon with just engineering checks.
2353.
I will not test the DM's knowledge on the rules for hypothermia, heat stroke or dysentery.
2354.
No more bringing more rule books to the game than the GM owns.
2355.
Can't bribe a dragon with belly rubs. 2356.
There is no such thing as medicinal melange. 2357.
4Chan does not cause more sanity loss than Cthulhu.
2358.
Just because the new edition is light on magic items doesn't mean I have to go through withdrawal.
2359.
Even if we all conspired to do it, it's my fault if the characters' names form a Jewish
folk song.
2360.
I can't spend all of my share of the loot on flamethrowers.
2361.
I don't get bulk discounts when buying armies.
2362.
I can't devote an entire deck of the battle cruiser to just my mistress.
2363.
Drug tests can't detect potions of speed.
2364.
I should stop asking the Lady of Pain to RSVP. 2365.
Even if it's the simple and and obvious solution to the module, we aren't beating the adventure
with lesbianism. 2366.
The following are not acceptable seconds in a duel: Space Marine Chapter Masters, Intelligent
Dancing Vorpal Swords, Prussia. 2367.
The rulebook wasn't kidding about needing 5,000 people to hijack a Star Destroyer.
2368.
Even if the entire party is in total agreement, we aren't stopping the game to call the writer
and correct his Texas history.
2369.
If the villain doesn't have a phobia of the blue footed boobie, I can't give him one.
2370.
I will keep the amount of sexual innuendo to a minimum in the autopsy report.
2371.
Even if I sew them into a serape, I can't wear two magical capes at once.
2372.
The Control Water spell is not for spontaneous wet t-shirt contests.
2373.
The name for a group of elves is not the fagot. 2374.
While Perform: Spoken word is an acceptable skill for a bard, Perform: Scat is not.
2375.
I will remember the whole acid spray ability before I cause the Company Chaplain to spit
take.
2376.
The Dwarven work ethic is not just "Dig until we hit evil."
2377.
When granted a wish use it to unsink the continent the immortals just destroyed.
2378.
When making a wish granted by said immortals, I will leave out the words "you incompetent
pricks." 2379.
Can't just use a wish to turn Strahd back to a human.
2380.
No weaponizing the Talisman of Pure Good.
2381.
Just because they can't be the target of raise dead spells doesn't mean elves have no soul.
2382.
In the middle of a black ops can't organize a skeet shoot with office furniture.
2383.
When challenging Death to a game, GMing Paranoia doesn't grant immortality.
2384.
Raise Dead spells are not just for closers. 2385.
Doesn't matter where you hit him, you can't set a bard to shuffle.
2386.
There is no such thing as gnomeophobia. 2387.
I will not give anybody an unreasonable fear of gnomes.
2388.
No matter how high my damage resistance is, I can't name my dwarf Tanky McTankitytank.
2389.
Despite the ridiculously short lifespans, 3rd level doesn't count as epic level for
Atruaghins. 2390.
The plan is not just let the villain beat on the dwarf until his arm gets tired.
2391.
If I'm the druid I can't put protestant down as my religion.
2392.
The teleporting spiders attacking us are not just going through a phase.
2393.
The natural enemy of the elf is not the common cold.
2394.
No wasting wishes trying to bring ultravision back to the game.
2395.
No picking the only form of travel the DM isn't familiar with.
2396.
Traveling by sculling is nowhere near as cool as it sounds.
2397.
Any character named Jim Katta is going to be taken from me and burned.
2398.
The Fereldan rules of succession are not just "Two men enter, one man leaves."
2399.
When looking for a template to make a creature deadlier, "Australian" is not a legitimate
choice.
2400.
Just because I have the technology, doesn't mean I need to make him better.
2401.
Just because there are no rules for the bec de corbin, doesn't mean they don't exist.
2402.
No starting wars over the what's the best pole arm.
2403.
Can't give a shout out in a ransom note.
2404.
I can't bet Grazz't my soul in a showdown over a golden oboe.
2405.
Cleaning out all eleven of the Caves of Chaos in a single night is not what they mean by
a dungeon crawl.
2406.
I can't save money on identify spells by just having random peasants do a blind taste test
on these potions I found.
2407.
I can't save points on learning a new language by just learning only the profanity.
2408.
The advantage "Friends in High Places" cannot be represented by Johnny Walker Blue.
2409.
My wish cannot include the words "and, additional, furthermore" or any synonyms thereof.
2410.
Our posse can't resemble an 80's British glam band without an explanation.
2411.
The most dangerous weapon is not an Upeo Wa Macho and her construction equipment.
2412.
Yes, they are the perfect solution to all our deep one problems.
No we can't have depth charges.
2413.
The barbarian can still berserk even if he hasn't had his morning coffee.
2414.
Offering to buy the hostage I just rescued a new arm is not sufficient enough of an apology.
2415.
Vargyr do not have the flaw Ancestral Enemy: United States Postal Service.
2416.
No convincing Rahasia he's just not that worth it.
2417.
Bargle the Infamous is not under a "Protection from Continuity" spell.
2418.
If the quest is to retrieve a magical genie bottle, no shaking it up before handing it
back over.
2419.
I am required to tell the DM if the secret villain of the adventure is revealed on the
back synopsis of the module screen.
2420.
You can't teach a parrot Power Word Kill. 2421.
There is no danger from explosive decompression in teleporting a duergar directly to the surface.
2422.
You better believe wearing a mu-mu to the coronation gets you searched for halflings.
2423.
If the party is black tie only, that doesn't mean just painted on the power armor.
2424.
Even if she is a soul sucking creature of unholy darkness, the cleric can't turn my
ex-wife. 2425.
My necromancer is not in charge of inhuman resources.
2426.
Cleaning out the dungeon doesn't involve dressing up like ghosts and trying to scare them out.
2427.
The positive energy plane doesn't charge a cover charge.
2428.
Not allowed to see if its possible to drown someone in a barrel filled with healing potions.
2429.
Can't apply the holy avenger traits to siege weapons.
2430.
The halfling wizard can't exploit the short rest rules by abusing the use of a papoose.
2431.
A mandingo is not an Australian lycanthrope. 2432.
If I have to guard the AV-8 during the black ops, no entertaining myself with the PA system,
ejection seat or cluster munitions. 2433.
I can't fill my yard with adventurer shaped statues to convince people it's a Medusa lair
so they fight me with their eyes closed.
2434.
When I'm told a giant version of a creature is acceptable for my animal companion, that
doesn't include the tortoise. 2435.
Using dogs to keep late watch is fine, howler monkeys not so much.
2436.
I will not be the sole reason Carnivale is canceled this year.
2437.
If another player's character has all the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder,
a Cure Disease spell won't help.
2438.
Not starting the adventure until we have exactly one elf in the party is not Tolkienism.
2439.
Pointing out the gun will break the character's shoulder if fired in that position is not
they meant as a trigger warning.
2440.
Scots do not go up faster in direct sunlight faster than vampires.
2441.
My Rogue Trader's crew will notice if she left out Savior Pods to make room for a bigger
shoe closet.
2442.
Firepower is not an appropriate substitute for the Fellowship stat.
2443.
We are not sneaking into the Golden Throne disguised as a documentary crew.
2444.
No, I really don't want to know the Profit Factor cost for insurance on my Grand Cruiser
is.
2445.
When facing the terrasque can't just gate in a black ball and sit back and watch.
2446.
No complaining after the black ball takes out the terrasque when it starts doing donuts
on the treasure pile.
2447.
No threatening the aboleth with telling the Cajun restaurant his location.
2448.
Acererak doesn't care about the Tomb of Horror's Yelp rating.
2449.
Even if my musketeer just tore Richelieu from the French throne, I didn't just break the
Cardinal rule.
2450.
If the Storyteller gives me a drama die at about 70 mph and aimed at my face, it wasn't
a compliment.