First, conduct a gratitude assessment. In this episode, we are going to address the question.
How to turn a negative experience into a positive outcome? And this is the first of seven steps.
Get ready, this is extremely valuable because we all go through negative experiences in life, right?
So, I'm Doug Andrew and I've helped many many individuals, families, businesses,
transform their lives not just financially. Because I primarily been viewed as a financial strategist
but also helping families teach responsibility and accountability to their children, their
grandchildren, to their employees, and I realized years ago that I was asked so many times, "Doug,
how did you and your wife?", we have six children and now 20 grandchildren. "How did you teach those that
you love, that you care about. How to handle the curveballs in life that that life throws at you?
The negative experiences and how did you overcome them? Because we all experience them." So, get ready,
I'm going to show you seven steps this episode is the first of seven steps that teaches you how to
take any negative experience and transform it into a positive outcome here we go. So years ago, I was
actually inspired by my friend and good coach Dan Sullivan to write down my unique process on how I
would handle a negative experience in life and turn it into a positive outcome and I'll give you
a few stories and examples as we go through these seven steps. But I created a 20-page
document a white paper going through the seven steps that I began to develop and employ
and I've tweaked them through the years that help you transform any negative experience into
this positive outcome at the end of the day. So we're gonna take these one step at a time this
first step. Sometimes people go, "Oh really, is that what you do when you've had a bad thing happen to you?",
Yes. Do not skip this one. It's what we call a gratitude assessment and you cannot read what's on
the screen here. I'm just going to show you that I give an explanation of what I'm talking about.
Because I'm going to show you how you get a copy of this 20-page document. So, as I go through
and explain this sometimes we have to get out of ourselves and the victim mentality and look
at what we're grateful for in life and so there's two tools that I develop to help those that I care
about think about what's going right in their life and to be grateful. The first one is called
the appreciation accelerator and so it looks like this. It's an eight and a half by 11 sheet of paper
and I'm going to gift you a copy of my most recent book that talks about this at the end
of this episode and you'll be able to have access to 20 different tools like this one. So just listen
and watch hear what I'm saying. What I'd like to do is write down three positive accomplishments that
I've had in the last day the last week the last year and I write them down and then appreciate
has actually three different meanings. Naturally it means you're grateful. The word appreciate
means you're you're grateful, it's gratitude. But it also in real estate means what? It goes up in value.
So, you want to appreciate something by having it go up in value. But if I were to tell you that my
wife was in the hospital and nearly passed away three times and so forth which is true
and you were to say, "Oh, wow", and you related to somebody in your family who nearly passed
on because of health issues. You would come up and say, "I really appreciate what you've gone
through", see, now you're using appreciate to fully understand to be empathetic. You got it? So in this
exercise you write down three accomplishments that you want to appreciate and how did you
show gratitude. How did it increase value for you and others and how did that help you more fully
understand? This is very critical because you're getting out of just in that victim mentality
poor little me... everything goes wrong with me. Why did this happen? Why did I get hit by a
car and now I can't play football this year or whatever. And so, as you go through this many times
I will put down something in the financial category the foundational or the intellectual
category. These are the three dimensions of what I call authentic wealth. Hence this channel is
called three-dimensional wealth. So, by the way if this is already intriguing you I would recommend
you subscribe. Click the little bell so you'll be notified. Because I post an in-depth answer
to a question almost on a daily basis on this channel it's free and then at the end I want
to gift you a copy of a book that will help you understand how to do this. So when I fill out the
appreciation accelerator what I'm doing is putting down the why I'm grateful for the experiences
and I'm putting down any other challenges and I'm thinking through that the gratitude and the
appreciation and how did this increase value in my life and as you go through and fill this
out all of a sudden you're not worrying about yourself anymore. You're thinking about what
you're grateful for and again how is this going to help you understand fully understand others in
similar situations. So, you can lift them up. The only way to lift others up is to be on higher
ground and you need to understand with empathy fully understand what they're going through.
You begin to get out of yourself so to speak. That's the appreciation accelerator. The other
that I love is called the gratitude amplifier. Now, the gratitude amplifier is one of our favorite
exercises we do at thanksgiving every year with all of our children and grandchildren.
There's more than 30 of us there when we have thanksgiving dinner. But I've done it with
troubled youth at the crisis center and the counselors are shocked. The parents that come
when we have this etiquette dinner because some of these youth have never even eaten out at a
restaurant before and we teach etiquette and one of my favorite exercises in the month of November
because we usually think of gratitude is this it's called the gratitude amplifier and you can
hear a pin drop as we go around as these youth who have been focused a lot on their problems
begin to look at what they're actually grateful for and so I'm gonna take you through this step
by step and help you understand how you can do this to amplify your gratitude. So, it's a
very simple form we have three columns and you write down those things that you're grateful for.
Now, a lot of times, when I'm talking to troubled youth and they're depressed they don't think of
anything that they're grateful for so I give them categories. So, many times, I'll say well write down
a living person you're grateful for a person who has died. A physical ability you're grateful for,
material possession, something in nature, a place on earth, a modern day invention, a particular food.
Your home or place of abode. Some of them don't have a home they're homeless. God the universe
are a higher power and all of a sudden they just start writing like crazy because I gave them some
general categories. So as they begin to fill out the form I put down here what are you grateful
for and they begin to write down these things that they're grateful for based upon that list. What do
I mean by amplify as they write down what they're grateful for or who. Over here I have them amplify
why? Why are you grateful for that thing or that person? So then they begin to write and these
counselors and parents are like I can't believe my son my daughter is writing down things like this
and they begin to write down why they're grateful and how they're going to show gratitude
for that thing or that person and they start writing down people their grandparents or what
have you and so as they go down the list of who and what they're grateful for they amplify why
are they grateful and how are they going to show gratitude and they usually have to have a date
like the end of Thanksgiving weekend if we do it in November or the end of the year.
When they get all done this usually takes about 15 or 20 minutes and like I say you
can you could hear a pin drop as they go through and do this. What I like to do with our family
and with troubled youth as they get their list all filled out then we go around and everybody
shares. I don't have them share everything. I have them circle three and we go around and
share three things that we're grateful for why and how we're gonna show gratitude. I've never had
more tears shed than when we do this exercise and it takes about 15 minutes and then you go around
and share and so when you are going through a negative experience. The first step is to
get your thinking cleared up and be grateful for what's going right and be thinking of many things
that you actually are truly grateful for getting out of yourself. does that make sense? So again if
this is intriguing you I would recommend you watch the other six episodes in order the steps how to
turn a negative experience into a positive outcome. Because we've only covered step number one and if
you would like a copy of this negative experience transformer it's actually in a master class that
I've recorded it's called entitlement abolition how to lead your family those you love those you
care about from me... to we together we're better and so entitlement abolition is one of my
favorite books it's 200 pages and it retails for I think 20 bucks. I will gift you a copy of this
absolutely free. I'll pay for the book if you contribute a nominal amount towards the shipping
and handling. I'll cover the rest of that cost and fire this out there's also some options there to
listen and learn or watch and learn even an 18-hour master class that I recorded. If you
love to invest in learning these types of dynamic principles. So go to entitlementabolitionbook.com
or click on the link below and we'll see you
in episode number two. Step number two on how to turn negative experiences into positive outcomes.