MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT IS AN
ACTOR AND COMEDIAN WHO STARS IN
THE NETFLIX SERIES "LOVE."
PLEASE WELCOME PAUL RUST!
♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: NICE TO MEET YOU.
>> NICE TO MEET YOU.
>> Stephen: WE HAD YOUR
COSTORE FROM "LOVE" ON HERE
GILLIAN JACOBS.
>> FANTASTIC.
>> Stephen: SHE'S FANTASTIC, A
VERY TALENTED, FUNNY ACTRESS.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE'VE
MET.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: PAUL RUST.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S LIKE A NAME
FROM, LIKE, A DETECTIVE NOVEL OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> PAUL RUST P.I.!
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
IT'S THE NAMEAVE REAL TOUGH GUY.
>> BUT...
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: IS IT A HARD NAME
TO LIVE UP TO?
>> YEAH, LIKE GROWING UP, YOU
KNOW, I WOULD MEET SOMEBODY AND
MY FRIEND WOULD GO, "THIS IS
PAUL RUST.
THIS IS WHO I WAS TELLING YOU
ABOUT."
AND I COULD SEE IT IN THEIR EYES
MAKING THIS PSYCHOLOGICAL ADJUST
"I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO HAVE
A SCAR, MAYBE BE A STEEL
WORKER."
MY NAME SHOULD BE LIKE, LILYPAD
JONES.
>> Stephen: LILYPAD JONES?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: NAMED FOR
ST. LILYPAD.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WERE YOU, LIKE, A
GOOD KID.
WERE THE HARDY BOYS OR WERE YOU
THE BAD KID IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD?
>> I WAS THE HARDY BOYS.
I WANTED TO BE A GOOD LITTLE
BOY, STEPHEN.
WE WERE BOTH RAISED CATHOLIC,
RIGHT?
I'M SHOE YOU WERE A GOOD LITTLE
BOY.
>> Stephen: YEAR, I'M STILL
RAISED CATHOLIC.
DID YOU GO TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL OR
ANYTHING LIKE THAT YEAH.
IT WAS GREAT, I REMEMBER IN
FIFTH OR SIXTH GRADE I WAS A
TEACHER WHO DID THE "HELPER OF
THE WEEK" AWARD.
ON FRIDAY, I KEPT MY EYES OUT
AND I LOOKED TO SEE WHO WAS GOOD
AND A HELPER.
>> Stephen: EVERY WEEK SHE
WOULD DO THIS?
>> YEAH, YEAH.
"AND ON FRIDAY I WILL ANNOUNCE
THE WORKER OF THE WEEK."
AND AS SOON AS I HEARD, THAT I
SAID THAT'S MINE.
>> Stephen: ALL THE GOOD
PEOPLE WANT THE AWARD.
THAT'S THE ONE THING YOU KNOW.
WHAT DID YOU DO?
>> I WAS RIDING HOME WITH MY MOM
AND SHE WAS DRIVING AND I SAW AN
OLD WOMAN RAKING LEAVES IN HER
YARD AND I WAS LIKE, "THIS IS A
LOCK.
MOM, STOP THE CAR!"
SHE PULLED OVER AND FOR A COUPLE
HOURS I HELPED THIS OLD WOMAN
RAKE LEAVES.
>> Stephen: A COUPLE HOURS.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.
HAD YOU IMMEDIATE MT. THIS OLD
WOMAN BEFORE?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: JUST A STRANGE
CHILD CAME OUT OF A CAR?
>> SHE TOOK OFF.
>> Stephen: YOUR MOTHER LEFT?
>> WE WERE IN A VERY SMALL TOWN.
SHE WAS VERY TRUSTY.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, WHERE
IS THIS?
>> LAMARS, IOWA.
>> Stephen: OKAY, YES.
>> I RAWKD THE LEAVES AND NEXT
DAY CAME IN BURSTING AT THE
SCENES WANTING TO TALK ABOUT IT.
BUT I HAD TO BE COOL ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: HOW WAS THE
TEACHER SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
>> I HAD TO SAY IT WITHIN EAR
SHOT OF HER.
I WAS TALKING TO SOMEBODY AND I
SAID, "YESTERDAY I SAW THIS OLD
LEAVE EXPLAED GOT OUT OF THE CAR
AND HELPED HER RAKE THE LEAVES.
WHATEVER.
IT'S JUST SOMETHING I DO."
>> Stephen: I DON'T WANT TO
TALK ABOUT IT.
>> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT
IT.
SOMEBODY ASKED, RIGHT?
AND FRIDAY CAME AROUND FOR THE
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT AND I DIDN'T
GET IT.
>> Stephen: WHAT?
>> I KNOW.
YOU HEARD THE GASP FROM THE
AUDIENCE.
>> Stephen: LATER, WE'RE GOING
TO PUT IN THE SOUND FEESK OF
THEM GASPING.
( LAUGHTER )
JUST TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
THE FISKS IN?
WHO GOT THE THING?
>> SOME PERSON WHO DIDN'T
DESERVE-- YOU KNOW--
( LAUGHTER )
IF I --
>> Stephen: BUT YOU'VE LET IT
GO.
>> CLEARLY.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE CLEARLY LET
THIS GO.
>> I'M USING NATIONAL TELEVISION
TO GRIEB GROOIP ABOUT IT.
SO CLEARLY I'VE GOTTEN OVER IT.
THE STORY SHOULD HAVE ENDED
THERE, BUT I REMEMBER AFTER SHE
ANNOUNCED IT-- THIS IS VERY
EMBARRASSING.
I RAISED MY HAND AND I WAS LIKE,
"I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER,
BUT I RAKED THIS PERSON'S
LEAVES.
SHE WAS REALLY OLD."
>> Stephen: EVERYBODY'S
TALKING ABOUT IT.
>> YEAH, YEAH "WORD ON THE
STREET IS THAT I'M, LIKE, HERP
OF THE WEEK."
AND MY TAKEAWAY WAS, OH, I'M A
GOOD KID.
I'M JUST A BAD PERSON."
YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHERE IS LAMMARS?
>> IT'S IN NORTHWEST IOWA.
>> Stephen: UP BY THE
DACOATARCHS SOUTH DAKOTA.
>> A STONE'S THROWN AWAY FROM
SIOUX CITY, IOWA.
USUALLY WHEN YOU NAME A TOWN ON
A SHOW SOMEONE CLAPS.
LAMARS IS KNOWN AS THE ICE CREAM
CAPITAL OF THE WORLD.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: NO!
NO JUMPING ON THE LAMARS GRAVY
TRAIN AT THIS POINT.
>> YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE!
>> Stephen: BASED ON WHAT ARE
YOU THE ICE CREAM CAPITAL OF THE
WORLD?
NO OFFENSE, I WAS NOT FAMILIAR
WITH LAMARS' WORK-- BE NICE NOW.
YOU WANT THE AWARD "BEST GUEST
OF THE WEEK."
( LAUGHTER ).
>> THEY HAVE THE WELLS BLUE
BUNNY ICE CREAM PLANTS.
THEY MAKE A LOT OF ICE CREAM
THERE.
>> Stephen: YEAH?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: SO THEY JUST
DECLARED THEMSELVES ICE CREAM
CAPITAL OF THE WORLD.
>> IF YOU READ ABOUT IT ONLINE
OR SOMEBODY WRITES AN ARTICLE
THEY'RE A LITTLE SNOTTY, ABOUT
IT, STEPHEN.
THEY'LL GO, "LAMARS, WANT
SO-CALLED SELF-PROCLAIMED ICE
CREAM CAPITOL OF THE WORLD."
>> Stephen: SO NOBODY'S BUYING
IT.
>> LIKEY DETROIT TO CARS, LAMARS
IS TO ICE CREAM.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> AND FOR PEOPLE WHO THINK
WE'RE WRONG, PROVE IT.
PROVE ME WRONG.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: WELL, THE SERIES
ON NETFLIX IS CALLED "LOVE."
>> YES.
>> Stephen: THE HIGHS AND
LOWS--
( APPLAUSE )
LOOK AT THAT.
IT'S ABOUT THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF
DATING.
DID YOU-- DO YOU EVER ANY
PARTICULAR LOWS IN YOUR DATING
LIFE?
>> OH, ALL LOW S.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
YOU HAVE A RING ON YOUR FINGER.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
PART OF A VERY SPECIAL CLUB THAT
GETS A SPECIAL RING.
YOU AND ME ARE PART OF THIS
CLUB, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: THAT'S EXACTLY
RIGHT.
DIDN'T SEE YOU AT THE LAST
MEETING, THOUGH.
>> I'M SURE RIGHT NOW THEY'RE
FLASHING ON THE BOTTOM OF THE
SCREEN, "SORRY, LADIES.
HE'S MARRIED."
BUT--
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: LET'S FUT UP.
WANT TO PUT THAT UP?
GREAT, THANKS.
>> YEAH, WHEN I FIRST MOVED TO
LOS ANGELES, YOU KNOW, LOS
ANGELES IS A BIG, LIKE, CAR
TOWN.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> CARS ARE KIND OF LIKE THE
STATUS SYMBOL YOU.
>> Stephen: CAN'T GET
ANYWHERE.
>> IT'S YOUR WAY OF SHOWING
PEOPLE WHERE YOU'RE AT,
ESPECIALLY ON A FIRST DATE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> BUT I DROVE THE FIRST FEW
YEARS I HAD THE CAR THAT I, LIKE
DROVE OUT TO L.A. IN, AND IT WAS
MY MOM'S PONTIAC.
>> Stephen: FROM LAMARS.
>> FROM LAMARS, THE WHOLE DRIVE
FROM LAMARS TO L.A.
AFTER A WHILE THE CAR GETS BEAT
UP, AND I HAD THE SIDE MIRROR
DANGLING OFF AND FLOPPING
AROUND.
AND THE DRIVER'S SIDE DOOR
WOULDN'T OPEN.
>> Stephen: AT ALL?
>> NO, SO I WOULD HAVE TO GO TO
THE PASSENGER SIDE DOOR, AND
OPEN IT UP.
AND OF BUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IS,
LIKE-- MAY I DEMONSTRATE?
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> IF I WAS ON A FIRST DATE, YOU
KNOW--
>> Stephen: THIS IS THE
DRIVER'S SEAT?
>> THIS IS THE DRIVER'S SEAT.
THIS IS THE PASSENGER'S SEAT.
ME AND THE DATE ARE COMING
ALONG.
I WOULD, LIKE, OPEN UP THE DOOR
TO GET IN, BUT SHE THOUGHT I WAS
BEING CHIVALROUS.
( LAUGHTER )
SHE'S LIKE, "OH, THANK YOU."
AND I'M LIKE, "OH, NO, NO, I
HAVE A TERRIBLE CAR."
AND SHE WOULD HAVE TO SEE ME,
LIKE A TODDLER, LIKE... CRAWL
ACROSS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IT'S OKAY.
"SO, DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX
WITH ME NOW?"
( LAUGHTER )
RARELY GET INTO THE CAR.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
IT'S ANOTHER REASON TO GET
MARRIED.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: WELL, IT WAS
LOVELY TO MEET YOU.
>> IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.
>> Stephen: SEASON TWO OF "LOVE"
PREMIERES NEXT FRIDAY ON
NETFLIX.
PAUL RUST, EVERYBODY!
GOOD KID.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
COMEDIAN MO AMER.