You're... You're Captain Man!
That's right, Henry.
Oh, hold on a second.
Stupid zipper!
Always sticks!
Come-- Oh, that's my skin.
Mmh, this orange juice is so good.
'Course it is, I squeezed it myself.
[chuckles]
Hey, Piper, hurry up!
Captain Man is making us breakfast.
[Piper] I'll be down in a few minutes!
So, who's ready for some Man Cakes?
Wow, they have the Captain Man logo.
Yeah, that's what puts the "Man" in the Man Cakes.
Captain Man!
Oh, my goodness! What a wonderful surprise!
- Shut up. - Sure.
Oh, hey. I thought you said you were gonna get a haircut.
I was, then I realized my hair's already perfect.
Did you get the concert tickets from her?
Uh, no. Not yet exactly, but I'm g--
Well, little girl, that makes you a problem.
[gun charges up] Well, I understand.
Just do what you gotta do.
- No! - Ah!
[groaning]
Can't we all just have some pie?
[panting]
You've gone soft, Kid Danger.
I think you need a double dose of vitamin fist!
Let's use our words!
[screams]
[creaking]
[struggles]
What?
- Oh... - Seriously?
Now you wanna play?
I'm not playing.
I fell through the stupid floor
when I was picking up a VHS tape of Good Burger.
You found Good Burger? Well, where did...
Ah! [laughs]
Oh, my gosh! I love this movie!
"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger!"
[floor breaks]
"Can I take your order?"
You wanna see me eat this bomb?
You really wanna see me eat it?
'Cause I'll eat it! I'll eat that bomb right now!
But only if you chant a little louder.
What? This bomb?
- Eat the bomb! Eat the bomb! - OK!
- Eat the bomb! Eat the bomb! - Here we go!
Eat the bomb! Eat the bomb!
[cheering]
[Captain Man] That's one! Should I eat another one?
- Eat the bomb! Eat the bomb! - Going for two.
- Eat the bomb! - Número dos!
[cheering]
[Captain Man] Here we go!
Going for the strike, here, baby!
Here we go!
- Eat the bomb! Eat the bomb! - Down it goes!
[cheering]
Whoo!
[whistling sound]
Oh, I get it...
"Whistlin' Susie."
It whistles right before it's about to--
[explosion] Ah!
[groans]
[gasps]
[burps] I'm OK!
♪ It takes more than one voice to make harmony ♪
Oh, no!
♪ We all have a choice for our destiny ♪
He's singing a finale!
♪ So if everyone here Would just sing with me ♪
♪ We'd all be free ♪
No!
♪ In harmony ♪
My God...
That was even more meaningless than I expected.
Time out. Time out. Hi!
Hi, hello, hi! How's it going? Time in.
Sorry, I'm late, I was stopping a meteor
from destroying the Earth.
Which you can see by... my face.
You smell like burnt toast.
Well, that's what meteors smell like.
- Well, that can't be true. - You weren't there.
Well, you're an idiot, so...
Captain man, will you commit right here and right now
to help this girl find her phone?
Brian, I would commit murder to--
No, no, no, no! Hey, hey! Whoa! Whoa!
Then do it!
That's just how committed I am.
Dude, that's burnt toast.
It's a... piece of meteor.
Oh, my God. OK, I'm out.
Where are you going? Why are you walking away?
Are you afraid of the facts? Huh?
Afraid of science?
[sighs]
OK...
Show me how ready you are.
Let's do this.
I haven't learned to aim yet.
- Believe! - So, learn now.
[Captain Man screams]
[laughing]
♪ So be good, you fool Yeah, be good ♪
♪ Pick up your stupid phone ♪
♪ And call the number At the bottom of your screen ♪
♪ And you'll get a call! 'Cause these kids... ♪
♪ Think of the kids! Can only eat... ♪
♪ One candy a day On Halloween! ♪
We all gotta think of the kids-uh!
Thank you.
And thank you, Captain Man,
for deciding to join me halfway through my song.
You're welcome, Danny Chest.
We love you, Danny Chest!
Thank you!
And now, let's check the telethon totals.
When I started singing, we had $100 in pledges,
and now we have...
One hundred dollars in pledges.
Come on, people. For the price of one candy bar a day,
you could feed one of these children...
one candy bar a day.