How can half an hour a day change your life?
Why do some people succeed, and others do not?
Where do you find a “successful environment,” and why do you need one?
Summary of Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi Insight 1.
Networking is the art of giving others what will help them achieve their goals
Today Keith Ferrazzi is an internationally renowned expert in the science of relations,
collaboration, and networking.
Author of several best-selling books and articles in Forbes and Harvard Business
Review.
Keith is closely acquainted with more than 5,000 people, among them: presidents of different
countries, leaders of large companies, media personalities.
But the road to success was not easy for Keith.
The Ferrazzi family emigrated from Italy to a provincial town in the United States.
Keith’s father worked at a local factory; there were only steelworkers and miners around.
Keith’s parents could not afford to send him to a good school.
One day his father turned directly to the head of his company: “Sir, I have such a
smart boy, but I have no means to send him to a decent school.
Look at my hands.
I don’t want my son to have the same life.”
Keith’s father was a good worker and always strove to do a little more than was expected
of him.
The CEO thought about it and decided to help by enlisting Keith in an expensive school.
Things were not going well at the new school: classmates laughed at the Ferrazzis’ family
car, at the boy’s cheap clothes and shoes.
But that attitude only strengthened Keith’s determination to succeed.
In the 1970s, the steel industry collapsed, Keith’s father was unemployed for six months.
His mother got a job as a cleaner.
Keith tried to survive and help his parents.
Still an 11-year-old boy, he managed to get his first job at a small local golf club.
He carried bags of golf clubs for the wealthiest people in the area.
Looking at them, Keith wondered: “Why do some people succeed, and others do not?”
There was no immediate answer, but Keith constantly noticed that rich people helped each other:
they selected the best schools, helped with internships in the most prominent companies,
with prestigious jobs, and supported the ideas and aspirations of others.
Keith realized that poverty was not just a lack of money.
It is the absence of social capital: that is, the more we disappear into ourselves,
the less we achieve in life.
Even if you were born into a wealthy family or smart or talented, you still could not
do anything alone.
Then young Ferrazzi thought: “What if life is just a game, like golf?
So, if you get well versed in the rules of the game and practice every day, will you
be able to succeed?
Even if you carry golf clubs for other people today.”
But what should an 11-year-old boy do to get noticed by millionaire golfers?
His father gave him advice: “Come half an hour before the start.”
Keith started arriving early.
He has walked around the entire course, paying attention to where the flags were placed and
how the grass was trimmed.
When the players started asking which clubs to use, Keith already had the information
they needed: he knew how the ball would roll.
First, find out all you can, study the issue, come prepared - then you can easily give others
something that will help them.
Insight 2.
Strengthen your relationship before you need to get something out of it
One day a certain Mrs. Pohland, the wife of the owner of the big lumberyard in the town,
asked Keith Ferrazzi to help her.
Then she asked Keith to help on the course again.
And again.
It was crucial to Keith, as it provided money for the survival of his family.
Keith did everything to make Mrs. Pohland win at tournaments: he’d come the morning
before to walk the entire course, all 36 to 40 holes, he’d test the speed of the greens
and note where the tough pin placements were.
He wanted to be considered the best caddie.
Again and again, he was convinced that it is impossible to win without sound preparation.
Mrs. Pohland started racking up wins left and right.
Keith did a titanic job, and it brought results.
Mrs. Pohland would brag about Keith to her friends at tournaments.
And a couple of weeks later, she suggested to him: “You need to come to our house,
it would be great to introduce you to my son.”
Keith hesitated and said, “No.
Thank you, but no thank you.”
“Keith, what would you like to do in life?”
the woman asked.
Keith got even more embarrassed and replied: “You know, my father said that I could become
the president of the United States.”
“You really could,” said Mrs. Pohland, quite seriously.
She believed in Keith.
A strong relationship was formed between them during the dialogue.
Insight 3.
People always need solid and trusting connections with other people.
We need support from other people Soon Keith Ferrazzi became a de facto member
of the Pohland family, splitting weekends and holidays.
Mrs. Pohland introduced him to all the members of the golf club.
Keith helped Mrs. Pohland on the golf course, and she helped him in life.
Keith appreciated her efforts.
If Mrs. Pohland saw Keith slacking, he’d hear about it from her.
Why did Mrs. Pohland decide to help Keith?
Perhaps she liked him and believed in him?
But it all started when he helped her win tournaments.
Reflect on how meaningful relationships with other people are.
But how do we use them?
For example, you want to be hired for a job.
Or you need people to buy your ideas, promote you or your business.
If you think that way about your network, you won’t succeed.
No one has time; everyone is busy.
You must first show generosity to others.
Think about how YOU can help other people succeed
or achieve even minimal changes that are impossible without your participation.
Now think about three people you’d like to meet.
For whom are you ready to prepare “for half an hour,” as Keith did?
You must be willing to serve.
All your hopes and dreams will depend on whom you are building a relationship with.
Have you chosen these three people?
Let’s move on then.
Insight 4.
It is not what you know that matters, but whom you know
Why do successful people strive for alliances?
Not just for Sunday golfing or small talk in the restaurant.
People with a close mindset are naturally attracted to each other: they share ideas,
knowledge, and experience.
Therefore, surround yourself with those who would allow you to develop.
Meet people, ask questions, ask for advice and always be ready to help yourself.
Who are the top 200 people for your life, business, or goals?
Such people often can be found among serial entrepreneurs, restaurateurs, politicians,
journalists, fundraisers for various foundations, lobbyists, or simply among those you met at
a party.
Choose 20-50 from them, up to 100 people, with whom it would be great to establish close
contacts.
What is your relationship with them now?
Mark them down from 0 to 3, where 0 is no relationship, and 3 is friendship.
Calculate your average value.
Now set a goal, for example, 1.5.
It means that there must be friends of yours for each person on your list who does not
know you.
Suppose you are afraid it is too difficult to establish contact with so many people.
So, think of it as a pretext to ponder new ways of searching!
For example, key figures in the field of your interest (people with extensive connections)
can be found on the Internet: on social networks or using special services.
SUCCESS IN LIFE = (THE PEOPLE YOU MEET) + (WHAT YOU CREATE TOGETHER).
Keith Ferrazzi