Given how many weapons we've learned you could make out of newspapers,
does it makes sense to--why do we allow newspapers in prison?
Do they?
Yeah.
[the modulated rogue] The Modern Rogue makes a newspaper tomahawk.
You know that one of my favorite things is improvised weaponry, right?
Yeah, of course!
Things that I will never use!
So you say.
Who knows, they might still even have newspapers by the time you go to prison.
Is that what I'm hoping for now?
Is that, "Man, I really hope they have newspapers when I have to go to jail."
So what is it about newspapers that make them so attractive for improvised weaponry?
They are flexible, and yet they are still essentially wood.
Let me just, let me just give you a...
>> Jason: I want you to hit me, as hard as you can.
Are you ready?
Yeah, no. As hard as you can! >> Brian: Really?
Yeah, no do it.
>> Brian: It did that? >> Jason: Ho--shh...
No! Wait, for reals?
It's...
>> Brian: [hushed] God dammit.
It stung.
Oooooh, not as bad as I thought.
This collapses when it hits you, and it ends up being a flat stinging type thing.
So this is the Millwall brick.
Go on.
Football hooligans, fans of the Millwall Football Club, whenever they would go to a football
game, they would end up in fights.
So at the gates they were stripped of all weapons,
anything that could possibly be used as a weapon.
>> Brian: Kind of like a prison.
>> Jason: Kind of like a prison!
They even made them take their shoes off, no shoelaces, everything.
Kind of like the TSA.
But they wouldn't take newspapers away, because why would they?
These resourceful football hooligans would take the newspapers and make deadly weapons
out of them, the Millwall brick.
I mean, what can you do?
We already tried rolling one of these up for the spear.
Yes, it's very tough, but I don't understand how you make a decent cudgel out of this.
>> Jason: Well, like with last time we're going to roll this up as tightly as possible.
>> Brian: Super, super tight. >> Jason: Yeah.
Now this is really simple.
There are variations on this recipe.
>> Brian: We've talked about this before, but in prison you've got nothing but time, right?
>> Brian: So you can be super, super precise on this.
>> Jason: Now technically, this is a primitive Millwall brick.
You just fold it in half? >> Jason: Yeah.
Okay, all right. And then what happens?
Yours actually looks better than mine.
Now this is a primitive one, you can get them wet and soak it, and it'll make it heavier.
[snickers]
There are other things you can do that I will show you in just a second.
Hit me with that one!
No way!
>> Jason: Yeah, do it. >> Brian: Dude, look at this.
[the barrel reverberates, almost gong-like]
>> Brian: All right. >> Jason: In the arm.
[thud]
>>Jason: Harder!
>> Brian: Really?! >> Jason: Yeah!
>>Jason: No, do it, do it! Do it hard, do it hard!
[thud]
[agonizing yell]
>> Brian: Too much?
Too much?
Too much.
That was too much, we're not friends.
Ah, the arm's numb.
All right, ready?
No!
Yes, no.
[heavy thud]
Aaaah!
>> Jason: My aim was off.
That was like a thud.
Now you're doing like a stabbing motion?
Yeah!
You can do either one!
I'm going to do it like this, though.
Oh-okay.
Ready?
It's already falling apart, okay.
[thump]
Oooooooooh! [censored] you!
There's a wave!
You get the initial thud, and then all of a sudden it comes--aaahh!
>> Jason: Now imagine hitting someone in the head with that.
That'd be bad!
Yeah!
>> Jason: If you make it dense enough, it's basically a wooden baseball bat, right?
Jeez louise, all right, here we go.
[thwomp]
[reverse sounds]
[deep low pitched slam]
>> Brian: Nope.
>> Brian: Not feeling it.
>> Jason: Okay.
Let's kick it up a notch, are you ready?
Yes.
Here, you're more patient and detail-oriented than I am.
All right, go on.
Do it again.
First of all you want to get it, here you go, get it all lined up in the middle.
You want to do your best Dennis Rogers, and roll it as super tight as you're able.
>> Jason: Yeah, the denser and more tightly rolled it is, the more it's going to hurt.
Wonderful!
All right, so now what?
Okay, I got some packing tape here.
>> Brian: Oh my god, I can already tell it's going to be grizzly.
[unspooling tape]
>> Brian: Okay, and then what?
>> Jason: Brick it.
And then, okay, so and this is fairly loosey goosey at this point.
>> Brian: [exhales] Oh!
>> Jason: Right?
Okay, and then we're going to seal it again?
>> Jason: Not just yet!
Oh you're a bad man!
>> Brian: Oh my god!
>> Jason: We're basically making a tomahawk.
That is a tomahawk!
[unspooling tape]
>> Brian: Here, you hold this.
>> Brian: Keep twisting.
So I would imagine, once you start banging stuff that rock is going to work its way through the tape.
>> Brian: Oh my god!
This is that scene from 2001.
[laughter]
>> Jason: Our monolith is a barrel!
[metallic impacts, increasing in intensity]
Hoooooooooh-hohohahaaa!
>> Jason: All right.
Oooh!
[reverse sounds]
[slow clashing of stone and metal, a metaphor for human progress, with all structure and form folding under the immense pressure of our brief yet exponential presence]
[Brian says, "Oooh" but super slow, it sounds goofy]
Too much power for one man to wield!
>> Jason: It totally--
>> Brian: --maybe, maybe maybe destroyed it, uhh a little bit.
>> Jason: Are you ready to make a mess?
Imagine this is some dirty snitches head.
I give you the honors, sir. >> Jason: Yeah!
[deep thud]
Oooh!
>> Brian: You broke his head!
>> Jason: Yeah!
>> Brian: It split wide open!
>> Jason: Put it back down! Put it back down!
>> Brian: You split it right open!
Now, I'm going to take down a white supremacist, you see because it's... milk.
>> Jason: I gotcha. [laughter]
[slow splash]
[laughter]
>> Brian: Oh my god!
>> Jason: Yes!
[laughter]
>> Jason: Oh dude, you nailed it.
>> Brian: [through laughter] I did!
What about--oh my god! [more laughter]
Uhm, if I had any doubts they are gone.
[in unison] The Millwall brick!
Holy cow!
Hey look at me, I'm Blue Man Group!