We have water and we have tequila.
And whenever a bell rings, it's time for you to take a shot.
And we don't know which is which.
So you'll have to choose.
But wait for a bell to ring.
[DING]
There it is.
OK.
Oh.
Water.
Oh, that's a shame.
It was water.
That was water.
That's a shame.
What was your New Year's resolution?
Hopefully, it wasn't to stop drinking.
No, but close.
I said I would give up sugar for a week.
Because that was all I was willing to commit.
Uh-huh.
Did you do it for a week?
I did.
I made it a week.
Well, I guess alcohol is sugar.
So maybe I didn't make it a week.
Yeah.
I didn't have any ice cream for a week.
But sugar is in everything.
Did you know that?
It really is.
If you look into it, sugar is in just about everything.
Like what?
It's in corn, it has a lot of sugar, vegetables have sugar.
I had corn.
You're not-- you mean processed sugar.
You're not doing processed sugar.
Right.
That was my resolution.
I see.
I wasn't doing processed sugar
Yeah.
And did you did you notice a difference?
Did you have a headache or anything happened to you?
No, I just really wanted ice cream.
Yeah.
But you're going to continue with it?
I think so.
Yeah.
I mean, well, now I've kind of blown it--
[DING]
I guess with-- uh.
That's the end of that resolution.
That was it, right.
Yeah, we just we just knocked it out there.
All right.
You have two kids, right?
Yeah.
How old are they?
I-- uh-- Kai--
You only had one shot.
I'm getting old.
Kai is 10 and Sasha is 11, so right sort of on the edge of--
[AW-ING]
Of what?
Well, they're not dead yet.
Yeah, no.
They just saw their pictures.
Oh, oh, I see.
It was like something like, oh!
Nothing happened!
They're OK.
Oh, they're almost 12.
Yeah, they're heading into that kind of no-go zone for me.
I don't want teenagers.
Well, you're going to get them.
Yeah.
They must think you're cool, though. 'Cause you were in--
I think that's negotiable.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, I mean, you were in Spiderman--
I have very attractive children.
I'm sure I could find somebody who
would want them at around 13.
Oh, I'll take them.
There you go.
Yeah.
That's around the age that I want them.
Because they can do chores.
That's the whole reason.
And dress them.
Because there's some good ways to dress kids.
And they do chores.
That's the only reason I'd have kids.
Kai would love to come.
Really?
Yeah.
I might even loan you Kai.
Let's talk about it.
All right.
But do they think you're cool because of the two
animated movies you were in?
No.
No, no, no.
But those were great movies.
Well, thank you.
But you're never cool to your own kids.
I think that's-- I don't know anybody who's cool to their own
kids.
About four years ago, I kind of committed myself to getting--
because I don't do stuff that's really for kids, as you know.
No, yes.
Yeah.
And so about for about five years ago, I just told Naomi,
I was like, I really want to do stuff for the kids.
And I made this commitment to be in animated movies.
And I told my agents.
And I really went after them.
And I got some really good animated movies.
Right.
And my kids, their reaction to them was like, yeah,
but you're just a voice.
And then I'm like, yeah but I'm one of the main characters.
And they're like, yeah, but you're the bad guy.
And it's like, I just--
I've accepted the fact that it's impossible.
I'll never be cool to them.
Yeah.
I don't want them now.
They sound very difficult. But then
you hosted Saturday Night Live.
So that must have been cool.
Yeah, they got to meet Lil Wayne.
[APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER]
So it's-- I see.
Look, Ellen, wait, wait.
I was I was actually in that picture.
And my son asked me to get out of it.
So it's just your connection.
But that makes you cool that you actually know Lil Wayne.
Well, you've met him doing the show.
Yeah, well I-- yeah.
You mentioned Naomi just now.
I love that y'all have such a great relationship
and you're still--
because this is such a great example for relationships
that don't work.
But you have kids.
And you are friends for the kids' sake.
And I think that's really important.
Yeah.
You got to.
Yeah.
I think it's great.
By the way, before I forget, did you hear in the beginning
the show, when I did the Grover clip, what did you hear?
Very bizarre.
The first time, I didn't hear it.
But then the second time, I heard it.
The F word.
Yeah.
Wow.
Because that's when I explained what, supposedly, he's saying.
You didn't do anything with the recording?
No.
It's not a gag that I'm going to find out later on that I'm
being tricked?
No.
No, I'm not trying to--
I didn't hear it the first time.
The second time, I definitely heard F-ing.
Yeah.
That's weird.
I heard it the first time.
And then when it was explained, I didn't hear it.
Oh, the second-- oh, so--
[DING]
Drink!
Drink, drink.
Water!