Mark: The one question he asks himself before he makes you his girlfriend.
Hey, it's Mark from Make Him Yours. I'm super excited to have a very good friend of mine.
Clayton Olson has come all the way from Colorado to join me in Texas, to talk about
the one question that runs through a man's mind before he commits.
Now, if you don't know Clayton, Clayton has got a crazy number of subscribers on YouTube.
Check out his channel. You've been featured on The View.
You've been NLP master practitioner, coaching thousands of clients one-on-one for almost
a decade now. Clayton let's get straight into it. What's the one question that men always ask
themselves. I loved this content when you shared it with me, I want you to share it with
the beautiful women now.
Clayton: Yeah. So I'll just start by saying that the question's kind of elusive because not
every man knows that he's actually asking this question inside. And sometimes if you
are a woman watching this, you might be thinking, well, what is the question?
Maybe it's, "Am I young enough? Am I beautiful enough? Am I sexy enough?"
Um, but it's not any of those. Yeah.
Clayton: It's actually quite a simple question. And the question is underpinned by two really
important topics that we're going to get into here. The question is, "Are you my woman?"
This is the question he is asking from the very beginning, all the way until he commits.
It's very simple, but there's something profound about it. Are you my woman?
Mark: It sounds overly simplified the two questions underneath what really pinned
this for me.
Clayton: Right, and the two questions they are, they're almost like two polarities here,
but they're ones that he is silently grappling with. And possibly when he's interacting with
you, he's trying to determine what the answer are to these. First one is,
"Will she challenged me?" And the second one s, "Will she trust me?"
Mark: Why are you so important?
Clayton: Well, let's dive into the first one, "Will she challenged me?" So yeah, in order for
a guy to grow, in order for a guy to become his best, most actualized self in a relationship,
he needs a woman that is going to be able to push back against him when he's out of
integrity. He's going to need a woman that will call him on his BS, a woman that will
be able to offer a clear reflection to him when there is an area in his life that he
needs to step up and become his better self. Intuitively, guys get this too. Guys know
this. If they're with someone who is a pushover, a doormat, or a chameleon, they don't tend
to stay in that relationship.
Mark: They kind of lose respect. They feel like they don't have something to step up to.
Clayton: Exactly. Yeah! And I think Jack Nicholson's quote in the movie As Good
As it gets with Helen Hunt, "You make me want to be a better man." Right?
It speaks to this, right? It speaks to the ways in which she was challenging him.
And there's a key here about challenging him. It doesn't mean ball-busting. It doesn't
mean disrespecting him. It doesn't mean stepping on him, so he feels less than
himself around you. It means almost seeing the best vision of him and calling him forth
to a new level of being, a new level of presence
that perhaps he has not had in other relationships.
Mark: Yeah! This is exactly why I got you on, because the way you word things, the way
you say things, having him step up into his integrity, I love that. And it's so real and
raw and authentic.
Clayton: Totally. Yeah. So it's almost like how can you see the best version of this guy
and how can you communicate to that and accept nothing less?
Mark: And so what's the opposite, the other question?
Clayton: The other question is, "Will she trust me?" Now, this is so important because the...
Mark: Wait, the ball-busting becomes a real problem?
Clayton: Yes, exactly.
Mark: More ball-busting equals you don't trust me.
Clayton: Yeah. Right? "You don't trust me," or like, "You don't respect me, you don't fully accept me."
And if a guy doesn't feel trusted, he's not actually going to have the opportunity
to step fully into his integrity. It's almost like in any type of relationship, you must
put yourself in a vulnerable position and depend on the other person in some ways,
for both of you to create something that is indestructible in terms of a relationship.
If you're too busy, being independent and his to busy being independent because
you don't trust each other, you're not going to create this third entity called the
relationship. So trust is incredibly significant here because one, it actually
shows him that you believe in him. Two, it shows that you're confident enough to lean
against the relationship and for him to feel needed. And for him to feel like there's a
place in your life that he can access and step into and support you.
Mark: And this is when I talk about creating interdependence, right?
Where you're not dependent, but you're also not independent. You're interdependent
on one another without co-dependence.
Clayton: Exactly. Right. Co-dependence would be collapsing, right? A lack of boundaries.
It's the opposite of interdependence in some ways, because you don't really have a solid
sense of self. And perhaps you are identifying too much in the other person's business.
Mark: I love that! Clayton, you go two more secrets and you actually have a completely
free webinar where you share all of these, yeah?
Clayton: I do. It's called Three Keys To Attract And Keep A High Quality Man. It is, I would
say some of the best contents that I've put out there.
Mark: Your time, you put into this is actually ridiculous. Like how many hundreds of hours
I know you spent preparing, you told me, I was just like,
"Wow! This is crazy!" So check out his webinar, Three Keys To Attract And Keep A High Quality
Man. I'll put the link above, in the description below as well.
Clayton: It doesn't matter whether you're in a relationship or whether you're single either.
This relationship is for you if you are a woman wanting to do everything on your side of the
fence to become the best version of you, so that you can call forth the best possible
partner in your life or call forth the best possible version of your man that you're
in a relationship with.
Mark: I love that! I love that! And energetically, the man's going to do the same or the new
man's going to do the same to meet you in that space too. Clayton, thank you for coming
in all the way to Texas. It's been a pleasure! Hit the like button on the video and the
subscribe button with the little bell, so you get all future notifications and make sure to leave
your thoughts, comments, questions in the space below too. I'm sure we can get Clayton
in to answer some of those comments too. Thanks for joining me, sir! We will see you
in the next video very soon.