Based on a true story, my heinie!
This year's Oscar movies are riddled with inaccuracies.
Am I the only one with standards?
Is Brian Williams writing all these scripts?
I wish Hollywood had half the integrity of
And when I found out how easy it is
to get into these press junkets if you have a TV show,
I decided to confront some of the biggest celebrities
face-to-face about all the fibs in their films.
The thing is, you only get 2 minutes with each person.
Okay, Angie, this movie was a giant lie
from start to finish.
You know, I think that's--
You left out the part where he shook hands
with Adolf Hitler after the 1936 games.
And you kind of glossed over the fact
that he was an alcoholic who verbally abused his wife
and didn't find God until right before he died.
Why are you a terrible director?
Oh, 'cause I don't have...
that skill.
We agree on something.
Next!
Huh.
Took some casting liberties, I see.
I'm curious why the movie would leave out the fact
that your mom was happily remarried.
Um...
And there was basically a whole community of people
hiking the PCT.
You were seldom alone on that trail.
Liar!
Next!
Oh, Cumberbatch, where do I begin?
He knew German,
he never called his computer Christopher,
and he was openly gay the whole time
and constantly hit on dudes
whether they were gay or not.
Oh, and Keira Knightley
did not get a job by solving a crossword puzzle.
So stupid.
Next!
[haltingly] Very nice to meet you, Stephen.
I'm just kidding.
How come you left out the part
where the sexy nurse you cheated on your wife with
abused you for over five years?
Oh!
And you told Jane you had ALS
before you started dating,
your friend Brian never existed,
and you're the one who decided
to get the tracheotomy, not Jane.
Also, I noticed one of your formulas
was wrong on the blackboard in the movie.
You're being awfully quiet.
I guess if you fist-[bleep] me, we'll be even.
Next!
Let's start with the fact
that the real wrestler this movie's about
tweeted "Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.
"Hate it. Sue me all you want.
My integrity is worth more than this bull[bleep] story."
Yeah, all of those things.
Why did they make your nose bigger?
The character you were playing
had a smaller nose than your real nose.
The real mystery is why they left out
how du Pont was a paranoid schizophrenic
who searched for Nazis on his property
and talked to rocks.
[sighs]
What the [bleep], Steve?
Well, I--as you said,
I think there was an added element
of--what's the word I'm looking for?
Horse[bleep]?
That's probably it, yeah.
Next!
Sure, for the record,
Chris Kyle didn't kill Mustafa.
He heard other snipers did.
Stolen valor.
And I don't care that he claims
he was perched on top of the Superdome after Katrina
to gun down 30 black looters in cold blood
or that they left out the fact that Jesse "The Body" Ventura
successfully sued him for $2 million
for defamation of character.
He's a goddamn hero,
and if you don't believe and support
every word of this movie,
you are a threat to our national security
and a terrorist.
And for what it's worth,
I thought your performance was breathtaking.
I know we ignored
And if you need more proof
that the Oscars are completely out of touch,
there was not one nomination for the real best film of 2014--
Yeah,
Did you see it?
Watch it!
The guy's got way more confirmed kills
than that American sniper.
I dare you to call John Wick a coward.
Shame on you, the Academy.
Shame.