I'll miss you. [kissing]
Hey! Hey, wait, mister!
Wait! Pull back!
Dude, stop the truck!
It ate a girl!
[groaning]
Hey! Hello?!
[groaning]
Whoa!
[laughing]
Oh, my gosh, that was so much fun.
Not so fun for this guy.
Whoa! You're Sam from iCarly.
Yeah, now let's get out--
Bob, are you gonna make me come up there and get you?!
Okay, let's see.
Uh, the light is hanging from that chain,
which goes to that rope, and... and... there.
Buckle up, Bob!
[screaming]
[laughing]
Bob.
Now that is good babysitting.
Hi!
Morning!
What ya blending?!
Breakfast!
Yay!
Oh, I had the weirdest dream last night.
Will you please not tell me about it?
So I was on a boat.
Oh.
And I fell into the water, but I was wearing poof panties.
No way. The end?
Residents are Elderly Acres... Whoo!
Who's ready to play
some slightly less extreme bingo?
Uh, now remember,
the first person to achieve bingo will win...
Oh.
This 70 inch LZD TV! Whoo!
That's right.
So many inches.
[gasping] Sam, look.
Hey, hey, ho. You two can't play bingo here.
We can so.
We're going to win that large television machine.
Well, I guess there's nothing I can do to stop you
from playing, so okay.
- Okay. - Okay.
Sophie, which of us is your favorite babysitter?
Me... or her?
What does it have to be a competition?
I think you're both great babysitters.
Either one of you would be great alone,
but together you make one great babysitting team.
Sure you both have your good qualities
and bad qualities.
But the important thing is you care about your work
and your roommates and friends.
Isn't that what really matters?
Yeah, but who's better?!
Whoo!
Hey, you okay?
Mm-mm.
That's good sauce.
[chuckles]
What's that thing?
Something I bought online. It's a machine.
Please don't show me what it does.
Watch what it does.
[beeping]
[chuckles]
See? I flipped the switch
and then the machine flipped it back
to its original position.
Please don't show me again.
Cat, your purse.
Sam, my purse.
Now, listen.
When you guys arrive at the hospital,
the doctors are going to ask you what you got beat with.
So you tell 'em...
it was a sock... and it was filled with butter.
[baby crying] Sam, the baby.
You can't fight in front of a baby.
It's against the babysitter code.
[cooing]
This isn't over.
It feels pretty over to me.
[laughing]
Excuse me.
- It was nice meeting you. - No, it wasn't.
As soon as the words appear on the screen behind me,
text them as fast as you can.
Texters, ready?
Let's blow this up.
And go.
[beeping]
Hey, Cat, when I'm done here, you want to grab some food?
Sure. There's a hot dog place right on the corner.
Mm. They have corn dogs?
Morris, you like corn dogs?
Please, I'm texting.
Come on, Sam, you're killing it.
Keep it up, Sam.
I would keep it up, but I am... done!
19.2 seconds.
Whoo!
- What? - You stole my Bibble.
No, I didn't.
Yeah? Well, why are all these little Bibble bits
all around your pillow?!
[spitting]
Oh, God, that was a toenail!
Dude, I never touched your Bibble.
Yeah, you did cause I'm chewing the evidence!
Why would I even eat that junk?
Oh, excuse me, girl who eats dirty ham
from the streets.
You roll him to me.
Sho thing.
I think he wanted you to roll him that way.
[honking]
Oh, I missed you, baby. Oh, yeah.
Ah, just feel mama's love.
Hello. How are your foods?
My foods are good.
Not mine.
My hamburger keeps using inappropriate language.
[laughing]
I don't understand.
Oh, she was just joking.
Choking. Choking.
Choking. Choking. [Cat screaming]
Choking. Choking.
Enjoy your meal.
Why didn't you do anything?
I was getting video.
[both] We feed them.
[gasping]
[groaning]
We burp them.
[burping]
[laughing]
We we change them.
I don't do that.
I change them.
[gasping]
[chuckles]
We'll even babysit pets.
So if you've got kids or pets..
And you don't want 'em around for a while...
Bring 'em on down to...
Contact us at...
Dot net?
Dot com was taken.
Did you have to leave your pee can
in the middle of the floor?
I thought you might need to use it.
For what? To make pee can pie?
[laughing]
We're gonna die in here.
The one time, the one time I don't have my phone
in my pocket and we get trapped in a tiny room.
You know what they say, no phone, tiny room.
Who says that?
We read it on that sign.
What sign?
At the restaurant in the girls bathroom. Remember?
That sign said "Employees must wash hands".
Now...
you are ready for some tricking and some treating.
And when people ask me, "Who are you dressed up as?
What am I supposed to say?"
You say, "Hi, I'm Cat Valentine."
Try it.
Hi, I'm Cat Valentine. Try it.
No, you're supposed to say it like me.
Okay, uh... Hi.
I'm Cat Valentine.
[chuckles]
Simple things confuse me.
[doorbell ringing]
Ding dong.
[chuckles] You did my doorbell thing.
What doorbell thing?
[laughing] This is weird.
I'll get the door.
[screaming]
Help me! Predicament! Predicament!
[screaming]
Oscar?
What happened?
I slipped up some lotion and fell in the toilet.
Help me.
Sam. [Sam laughing]
[screaming]
How can you breathe in there?
I found an air pocket.
[laughing]
Here. I know how to get him out.
Don't flush that toilet.
[laughing]
Abracadabra!
You're supposed to look at the door
when you throw the beans.
Why? So you can switch that box out for another box
that looks exactly like that box
but has a rat in it?
- Ding dang it! - Ha!
I wanted to trick you.
Mm, sorry, kid.
You have to be really smart to trick old Sam.
Well, I am really smart.
[laughing]
What? Why are you laughing?
Wait, wait, wait. No, say what you said.
Say it again one more time.
I said, "I'm really smart."
What the?
Hey, look, I found a new pair of underwear in the bushes.
Boys or girls?
- Boys. - Gross.
[chuckles]
[laughing]
What are you reading?
What your parole officer wrote about you in your file...
on the Seattle juvenile detention website.
Uh-oh. She knows you did time in juvie.
I don't care.
You will care if you try to take Poober away from me.
Cause I'll just call your parole officer
and tell him that Sam Puckett used physical force
against an 11 year old and then you'll be back in jail.
Maybe she should keep her Poober.
What the?
[gasping] Oh, my God.
Now, you're in big trouble.
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What's your name, Goldilocks?
Puckett.
Well, guess what, Puckett.
- What? - You got swag.
And you got spunk. You got that swaggy spunk.
Yeah, swaggy spunk.
Yeah, that's right.
And you're going to be my new assistant.
Your assistant?
Yeah, you know, hang out with me,
tell me I'm pretty and get my favorite drink,
John Jerelle. [laughing]
She done hit me in my head. She got that swaggy spunk.
[Cat screaming]
Listen, I am in love with this pink shoe I found,
so I have to find the other one.
I don't have time to think about meatballs, meatloaf,
meat fruits... or any other kind of meat
until we find the other pink shoe
that matches this pink shoe!
Okay. I get it.
Thank you.
I've already searched through half this garbage. Ow!
[groaning] Sam! Put me down!
Sure thing.
Let me go!
Sure, as soon as we get the ingredients
to make more meatballs!
Guess what my mom gave me for my ninth birthday.
What?
A shovel, and a bowl of meatballs.
Were the meatballs... you know... tasty?
I don't know.
I... used the shovel to bury the meatballs in my backyard.
Why did you do that?
Cause... cause I thought that, um...
maybe I could grow a meatball tree.
And?
It never grew.
[crying]
[screaming]
[honking]
Sam, you've already had nine milkshakes.
Hey, tomorrow I'm going to have to drink a mug
full of boy sweat from a teenage jerk.
And after that, nothing's ever going to taste good again.
So I'm sucking down number ten.
What do you think boy sweat tastes like?
I don't know.
Hi. That was my friend, Sam Pumpkin.
Puckett!
And I'm Cat Valentine. What's your name?
Where is Officer Kelvin?
Whoa, whoa. He's slowing down. He's slowing down.
- He's gonna ditch. - Huh?
Tell her the suspect is gonna ditch.
Okay. My friend Sam says the suspect is going to ditch,
but I do not know what that means.
It means he's getting out of his car and he's gonna run.
Hang on!
[screaming]
Oh, no.
Suspect is on foot. I'm 10-62! Starting foot pursuit!
Oh, no.
- Oh, hey. - You regained consciousness.
Yeah. I... I thought you guys were fighting.
- Fighting? - Why would we be fighting?
Well, you're both antisocial misfits
filled with anger and rage.
Is that why you haven't invited me over
ever since she moved in?
And why you never wanted me to meet her?
Well, yeah.
What'd you think would happen?
Murder.
Do you want to murder me?
Well, uh, no, I'm good.
Robbie Shapiro!
Whoa!
Oh, Cat, you're back.
Uh, Robbie was just singing me a little song he wrote called...
I know what it's called! He wrote that song for me.
- Cat. - I'm swell, me!
He's sang that to me over a year ago!
Well, he's singing it to me now.
[groaning]
You used the kids from the doju.
Yep. Now I want you to pull yourself together
and finish doing the worst play that anyone's ever seen.
I'll do it.
Pay attention!
I'm going to have the exact formula.
- Wow. - Cool beans.
Sh sh sh.
Time to taste.
You just turn this guy here
and... lay some of that on your tongue.
Well?
Do you hate me?
No, I just- I- oh, come on.
It taste kinda like Blue Dog soda.
I hate that doll.
It's a nice doll.
What are you doing? Put that down.
Why?
Cause you're mad, and when you're mad,
you shouldn't handle wieners.
I know what I'm doing. What are you doing?
I'm making more of my fudge piles.
Nobody likes your fudge piles because they're too chewy.
You're too chewy.
Stop. You can't hit my box with this.
I paid a lot of money for that.
Okay.
[Cat] Clang.
Well, you're box bent my crowbar.
Serves you right.
Hey, anybody sitting in those seats?
Yeah, me.
That's all your stuff?
Yeah, it's all my stuff and I ain't moving it.
Oh, that's cool. You don't have to move it.
[chuckles]
Hey, that's my... What are you...
Hey! Pick my stuff up and put it all back or I'll--
These seats are open.
Here, take a look at this.
Sam! Get me outta here!
Give my hand back!
[sighing]
What is this?
It's the note Nora gave us.
[clearing throat]
I have your friend, Dice
and if you don't believe me, hair is a little piece of him.
Here's the piece of hair she's put in there.
[sniffing]
The boy does have amazing hair.
We know.
Listen here, jerkles.
You bully my friend Goomer one more time
and that's it!
[groaning]
All right. You think you're tough stuff, huh?
Well, you try that again and I swear--
[groaning]
This is sad.
I... I can't reach my coffee.
Who's the idiot now?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, wait, wait. I- I need my latte!
We've got ribs and fried chicken.
Oh, and macaroni with four kinds of cheeses,
which I call mac and cheese and cheese
and cheese and cheese. [laughing]
And we've got cornbread, potato doodles.
Oh, and for dessert,
we have make your own ice cream sundaes
with my very special strawberry gravy.
Just... Just give me a minute.
Aren't you hungry?
Um-hmm.
I'm just afraid of dreaming and... and...
I don't want to wake up.