what's going on Michelle how's everything today how you feeling
I'm great I'm happy to be on the mic or on video today too so our listeners can actually go over
to YouTube and see us recording this it's always fun to be on video and adds a different element
to the show right definitely for sure I know I always find myself if we're on video sometimes
I'll sort of make a gesture to you know that maybe I wouldn't have otherwise you know like that yeah
exactly sure sure or to teach something like you know it can be a tool so it can be a tool for
sure for sure um so Lindy uh today we're going to be talking about life advice we're getting
really deep today oh I like to go deep I think our listeners like to go deep too right because
we're only here once on Earth let's live a good life all right I like it I like it so Lindsay
as our listeners may know if they've caught a couple episodes well currently I'm about to have
my second child so exciting yeah and I I find myself asking a lot of people for advice right
um so I I realize that this is a you know I'm sure our listeners it doesn't have to be this
isn't all about uh babies or anything but yeah something that's going on in your life
that you need to ask people about I mean and guys we're talking today more about
like personal advice right maybe your personal life I mean it could also maybe work for work
um but I kind of hitting on the personal stuff today yeah I mean I think one of the big Keys
is ask the right person yes because you're going to get different advice depending on
who you ask and it's always going to be based on their perspective that's the thing you got
to remember right like the advice you're gonna get from someone is always based on them usually
more than it is about you you know because that's what they have to give you know I mean some people
are better at seeing your situation than others yeah but it's always going to be a little bit of
them in their advice so that's true yeah well you know what and I and I just realized that a common
mistake I hear from students is with advice right it's never advices yes good one Michelle I love it
guys point that out yeah guys this is super super important to remember try and get it out of your
huntable advice right we have like a piece of advice yeah right but we never say like oh I want
some advices right just advice yes I love that guys write that down remember that stop that bad
habit today so um today we're going to talk about the best way to ask uh for Life advice like some
some things you can do some things you can say uh Lindsay do you ask a lot of people for Life
advice yeah I do I um a lot of different people I I tend to focus on one or two people that I'll
ask for advice but I ask them a lot of things like I asked for advice a lot but just not to a
lot of different people does that make sense yeah is there is there somebody who stands out in your
mind that like you and you asked for I think my parents I do go to my parents a fair amount still
um I still feel like in some ways they kind of help me out yeah although they're getting older
right so but they still have lived a long life and they've made all the mistakes so I try to
feel it out with them you know yeah yeah I get a lot of advice from my parents I think I also
get a lot of advice from my brother um so yeah I think I think family is you know definitely good
for that oh my I I would say my cousin um okay she gives me a lot of advice so cool yeah good stuff
um so we're gonna be talking about this today but before we do that Lindsay we want to remind our
listeners guys head over to aldersenglish.com fluency score and there you can find out your
level now so you can take a quiz you'll get your fluency score and you get resources for
that level yeah go for it guys all right well let's get into the the vocabulary today Michelle
so I mean well first a little advice right advice about them okay actually that could
be a good title that could be a good title yeah uh well so one is when you're asking you know
you want to be genuine like you want to let that person know that you are really taking the time
uh to ask them and you are sincere right yeah I love it be genuine for sure because if they're
gonna really think about a good response they need a good question from you so being genuine
um and then be honest about what you don't know you know if you got to be a little bit transparent
when you're asking for advice right Michelle right right right and I think one thing that's
probably frustrating to someone who's giving advice is if like I ask you for the advice and
then you're giving me advice and I'm like oh yeah yeah I know that I know that I know you
know yeah yeah and then it just becomes like well why did you ask that's a good point yeah for sure
so try just even if they're saying something to you that you do know just don't say it you don't
need to say that right but there is a compulsion to be like oh I understand that I get it right
there's a certain compulsion I think right right right right right yeah that's true that's true I
mean and the other thing that's important is of course really listening if you ask for the
advice you better listen to what that person is saying yeah you better listen and then share what
you worry what you're worried about yeah yeah for sure for sure okay so these with these caveats in
mind Michelle good good vocabulary word for today by the way caveats is a good one caveat let's get
into it so what should our listeners say when they go to that person all right so one thing
you could say is what's the best way to right so for example uh what's the best way to prepare a
child for a sibling oh yeah and so in this case what I was saying before it's important that you
ask someone that has two kids right right right right right right exactly someone who's had that
experience so that yeah um they can help you out definitely two kids or more I mean someone
that has one kid gay you know I have heard it's it's hard to go from the first to the second they
say that even with two dogs it's hard to go from the first to the second pets or anything
so they wouldn't quite have that experience they wouldn't quite understand fully right
um for sure okay here's the next question what's the best way for example okay this is the example
Michelle what's the best way to prepare a child for a sibling as you said or what's the best
way to decide on a city to move to okay right right right exactly so lots of different things
that I mean we're getting advice about all the time um I was just gonna as opposed to saying
like which city should I move to right and we should be more productive to say hey I'm thinking
about moving to a city you know what should I think about what's the best way to make this
decision instead of saying oh what do you think about New York versus LA right right right it's
a different kind of question that's useful in its own way I think it's more useful yeah yeah yeah
um good so another thing you could say is I feel and this isn't we're not doing only questions
we're well this part has half and half so here we go yeah I feel really X about this can you give
me some tips yeah giving giving uh describing how you're feeling and being honest so I feel
really uneasy about this can you give me some tips yeah or I feel really out of my league
that's a good bonus I feel really out of my league about this can you give me some tips
what does that mean I think we've covered this once before I think we have oh yeah well
we've we've you know to say out of it's funny because now I'm like second guessing myself but
um out of my league you know is often used to talk about some sort of uh dating or like yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah or a job or something like that wait so wait hold on is it out of my is
that what I mean to say right yeah yeah no I think you're right I think you can you can use out of my
league for both okay you're trying to date someone that you know she's or he is out of my league
right that's saying that person is Way Beyond what you who you could be dating or should be based on
their looks and status or hey I'm out of my league here um yeah I think you could say that for work
um or in over my head is the other one that comes to mind yeah and over my head that's
a good one too I think league is kind of the idea of like people like yeah maybe we changed that to
in over my head over my head yeah yeah something didn't see didn't seem right there I think yeah
okay we'll just just swap that out right now and we'll revise Our advice for our
listeners yes exactly um or you could say I feel really on sure about if I should move
um and then instead of how can you give me some tips you could say something like how did you
know it was the right move for you yes maybe somebody lives in the city and you're thinking
about moving there and that's why you're coming to them and so something like that yeah I think
that these are smart questions because you're not exactly asking what should I do right you're
you're asking how did you figure out what to do and then you want to apply that advice to your
situation which I think is so much better exactly exactly all right let's go through a couple more
things so the next one is what was it like when you X okay good so an example would be what was
it like when you had your second child I like this one Michelle because it's broad it's not
a yes or no question or it's very broad they could say pretty much anything so you're going
to get a more true response right right and you're not necessarily saying like give me
advice right here you're saying like yeah oh what was your experience and either they'll give you
like a direct piece of advice yeah through that story or you'll be able to gather something and
learn something from their story it's also a real connection skill here because saying what
was it like gives people kind of open range to to share good memories to reflect on something
that's really important to them in their life it's kind of nice because you're just saying
share share a memory share something with me right right right right right right or what
was it like when you first moved to Austin right so just just asking for those experiences um and
then uh this I like this question I see this a lot what is one thing you wish you knew before
yep what is one thing you wish you knew before having your second child right for example I
know this is really on your mind now Michelle right because they're you're right on the cusp
of this and this is going to be your reality right so yeah or what is one thing you wish
you knew before relocating yeah or what is it what's that famous expression like what would
you say to your younger self you know what I mean oh yes yes yes would you say to your like 25 year
old self about your 20s and 30s or something yeah right right right exactly um so and then
of course ask follow-up questions so um should we maybe should we should do the role yeah I think
we jumped yeah I like that Michelle we don't want to overload our listeners too much more
than I realized yes we got a lot we got a lot here let's go to the role play and then we'll go back
a little bit and we'll play around and that's it yeah go from there okay yes yes all right so
um so here we are friends and you are asking me about transferring schools so you're in
college so Lindsay I know that was something you dealt with you thought about transferring
school I did absolutely this is applicable for sure so here we go okay all right I don't know
I really like it but it may not be the right school for me what's the best way to decide
if transferring is the right move well Lindsay there's no easy answer but you really have to
research and do some soul searching yeah what's the best way to start researching
schools well join some social media groups and ask around that's what I did so you think it's
a good idea to contact people ahead of time at the schools yes make some connections that's
a good idea I really feel unsure about what to do can you give me some more tips
definitely visit more schools Lindsay and look into their programs find out about the social
life because that's huge what was it like when you transferred well it was a little lonely at
first I'm not gonna lie but after a few months I knew this was the right thing for me oh thanks
so much oh man I'm really uh you're very patient with all my questions Michelle here what can I say
you're welcome Lindsay did you end up transferring wait remind me again you didn't transfer right you
just thought about it too or what did we have that kind of thought about it I think I thought about
it after the first semester like okay briefly but then when I started obsessed second semester
everything fell into place yeah same thing with me if our listeners miss it I was at a school in
Virginia which ended up being a lot felt smaller than I thought I wanted in my college experience
you know I thought I wanted the urban life and so I started thinking about going to school in
Washington DC in a more urban campus but then I got so involved with tennis and just busy and
then I I just stayed there it was okay it ended up being okay in the end yeah yeah I remember though
when people would transfer out of the school and like you know I remember a few people that I was
like friendly with I'd be like no yeah that's true that is kind of yeah because it's hard like
how do you even pick a college you don't know what you're gonna want and in the end like it's
just four years of your life you're getting your degree and that you can choose wherever you want
to live after that yeah but it's funny because college does become so much of our identity like
for your whole life it's always like oh well where did you go to college like it's like a
huge question true true true matter but it's it's still it's always a question yeah that's a good
point I think that people use it as a question honestly just to find out how smart you are
they do I think people still do that like where'd you go to college you know and then
oh nice to meet you they may say that and they say oh if you say you went to Harvard they're
going to change their perspective of you I have to admit that that's what I mean that is what
people are thinking when they're asking that you know what I mean and there are some really strong
schools in the US that are small schools that no one would know but are very rigorous right
so that's that's that's tricky yeah right right right all right let's go through the role play
so let's see you said what's the best way to decide if transferring is The Right Move yes
so this is good again instead of saying should I transfer right which is very hard for you to
answer for me because then that honestly that's putting a lot of responsibility and burden on you
too yeah because what if you say yes and then you do and you hate it yeah yeah yeah don't put that
burning on me Lindsay don't do it yeah I won't instead I'll ask a much smarter question here
um and then I say yeah what's the best way to start researching schools so another what's
the best way to uh guys we didn't use every expression here but we used a lot
um and then so this was interesting so you said uh so you think it's a good idea to contact people
ahead of time so this is kind of like a follow-up like um you know just kind of summarizing and yes
yes I think it's a good idea too so that's a good thing you could say yeah and then I said I feel
really unsure about what to do so here we're being honest about our feelings right can you give me
some more tips it feels very aggressive my asking session here with you I'm like I gotta go yeah I
have an appointment hi um no and then you said what was it like when you transferred so you're
trying to learn a little bit about my experience and see yeah or get advice in that way exactly
I feel like if I were having this conversation I would have asked that question first because you
could have gotten the most information on what it feels like to transfer first you know but
yeah poor poor order Lindsay I know I know geez I should really get better at that um so let me ask
you one final question Michelle what is one thing you wish you knew before you moved to New York
oh I wish I knew that uh I I I wish I knew that it was going to be I I'm gonna go with that line
that I've that I heard a hundred times okay and I think I've talked about on the show your Highs
are never as high as you think they are in your lows are never as low as you think they are yeah
that's good just that just that idea of like you know you're gonna have great moments you're gonna
have you know bad moments and just keep on going and you know I wish I knew that it was going to
be all right I love it so good so good so for any of our listeners that are thinking of moving
abroad right it's not just New York that kind of thing when you're living in a new place that's
the case right your Highs are never as high or lows are never as low keep going where that came
from but I I have no idea but I remember hearing it once and I just really I always remembered it
very inspiring Michelle good stuff so that's a takeaway today guys ask questions but ask smart
questions when you're looking for advice keep it broad give the person a little Freedom don't put
a burden on them to tell you what to do right right that's the key exactly exactly all right
Lindsay this was fun have a good one and I hope you give some good advice and you get some good
advice oh that's in between all right Michelle have a good day I'll talk to you soon bye bye