By the end of this video, you are going to know all about it.
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Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am a narcissist negotiation expert
and my background is as an attorney and on this channel, in these videos.
I give you lots of tips,
tricks and resources on how to powerfully negotiate
and deal with, manage and shift the dynamic
with the most toxic personality on the planet
and if that is something that you want to be able to do.
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Okay, so covert narcissist are actually
the ones that I personally have had to deal with myself.
I had to deal with it in a business situation and my husband
and I have had to deal with one in our family.
So we personally know
the horrible situation that it is with covert narcissist.
They are the ones that are like stealth, they’re under the radar.
The ones that kind of seem nice on the surface.
Everybody thinks that they're
so nice and the ones that actually are the worst to deal with
because it's like death by a thousand cuts
and the ones that when you go to tell people about how they are.
People go, well, I don't know that doesn't seem so bad.
Maybe it seems inadvertent.
It couldn't really meant that because they seemed so nice that kind of thing
and I don't know , I talked so much more all about their personality
in my video, the covert passive-aggressive narcissist.
So you might want to check out my video on that particular topic.
But anyway, going back to how they have to distract themselves
because they are actually really quite miserable people underneath the surface.
So they have to distract themselves from their misery and how do they do that?
Well, they do that in a number of ways.
once people are on to them then they have to move on,
you know, it's like vultures that are picking apart the carcass,
you know, once that carcass is all picked over,
then they have to move on down
the road to find a new carcass to pick over and by the way,
they get bored of that carcass as well,
you know, once they see a good a better source of supply.
They want to move on extremely opportunistic.
In fact, I remember,
you know, like once you have seen the light
and you guys probably will understand exactly what I'm talking about.
When you have seen the light you start to look back and then you start to go,
Oh, I remember that conversation taking
place and it all starts to make more sense as you start to see.
You go, Oh, I remember that.
Now, I understand what was going on
and I remember this conversation with this person that I had a business situation
with and she was referring to another situation that she had
actually another business situation with,
and I remember her actually saying,
Well, you know, I got what I needed out of that situation and kind of took it as far as I could go.
So I don't really need that person anymore
and it was like now that I understand what that person was about.
It makes perfect sense, right? Shouldn't need that person anymore.
She kind of gotten what she needed out of it, right?
So finding and hanging out with their
new supply is one of the things that they do to distract themselves from their misery.
Oh, shiny new object. Hmm.
Let me move on to this next one.
They love to do that.
So, I remember actually that too.
I was not the flying monkey.
I was the target and I remember knowing who the flying monkeys were
and, you know, of course,
I was the one at the time that this business person had glommed onto as the source of supply,
but then they go on to that source of supply and then they want to devalue the supplier.
They want to show the supply how good they are or how they can be better
than you or hang out with people that are another source of supply or whatever it is
and, you know, you're supposed to somehow be jealous
or somehow wonder what they're up to or something like that
and I remember thinking am I supposed to be wondering
what you're talking about?
Am I supposed to be wondering what you're doing?
Because I remember thinking, I know that's what you're doing
and I remember thinking like, I don't care what you're doing.
I don’t care what conversations you're having
but yet I know that's what you're trying to get me to feel
and I remember thinking I don't enjoy the game.
I dont enjoy the attempt at manipulation.
I just want to be out of this situation
but I knew that that was what was happening.
I was aware that that was what was happening and I remember thinking how did I get here?
How did I get stucked into the vortex of this ridiculous game?
But I knew that that was what was happening,
but hanging out with their flying monkeys
and talking about their targets is something that they love to do to try
to distract themselves to escape their misery.
For sure.
they love to do that.
I remember this so much, especially the to covert narcissist and my life.
Both of the two covert narcissism in my life happened to be women,
definitely doesn't have to be women.
Certainly a lot of covert narcissists are men,
you know, they love to preen.
They love to prey
and be the person that they want to portray themselves to be.
So they love to be in situations
where they can put themselves in to be that person.
So you know, what's interesting to me is you know,
if it's not working for them to be in a certain situation.
They may say I'm sick or you know,
I can't show up or whatever they'll cancel on you.
But then if there is a situation where they can put themselves in to
look good like rush to the side of somebody who
sick or has cancer or something,
you know, so they can look good.
Then suddenly they've
recovered from whatever it is that they might have
because they definitely want to put themselves in a situation where they can portray themselves
as the person that they want to portray themselves as
and if this is all sounding very familiar,
give me a totally in the comments so far.
So I know that this is sounding familiar to all of you.
So I I want you to give me a totally in the comments.
All right, so and then the last one that they do to distract themselves
desperately holding on,
I mean, desperately doing whatever they need to do to keep it going.
So what do they need to do to maintain that facade?
What have they set up in their life to keep it going?
So if it's a work situation,
if it's a charity that they're running.
If it's something that they're doing at a volunteer situation.
Something within their family, whatever it is that they've
got set up to keep themselves looking good.
They've got to keep that going so that they can maintain that picture
of who they are.
So they, whatever they need to do.
They desperately keep that going
to distract themselves to escape their misery
and so, those are the things that they do that
covert narcissist do to continue to escape their misery
and when they go to negotiate,
by the way, it's all of this on steroids and they keep going.
But once it all starts to break down,
then you become Public Enemy Number One
and it all starts becoming so much worse,
and when that happens, you need to be on high alert
and so much more about this in some of my other videos.
So, you definitely want to make sure you check them out
and you definitely want to make sure you grab my free
Crush my negotiation prep worksheet
to start getting prepared and you can get that at
winmynegotiation.com.
Just go to winmynegotiation.com
It's a free ebook, 15 pages.
Make sure that you grab that
and make sure you join my free Facebook group
for support
Narcissists Negotiators With Rebecca Zung.
I'd love to have you in there for sure as well
and thank you so much for joining me today.
Make sure you start slaying your negotiation.
Slay is my brand strategy, leverage, anticipating and focusing on you.
So it is definitely time to slay and I'm so glad that you are all here.
You can do this, never give in, never give up
and I will definitely see you in the next video.