I'm Dr Emma Gray, and I'm the Lead Clinical Psychologist at the British CBT & Counselling
Service.
I'm also the author of the book and new YouTube series: How to Get Pregnant Fast.
Now, this information is based on my professional experience as a clinical psychologist, working
with couples struggling with infertility, but, also, on my own personal experience of
infertility.
So in this video, I am going to talk a little bit about that because I think sometimes it's
quite, well, it's interesting, but also helpful to know a little bit about the person who's
written what you're either reading or listening to.
So, my fertility journey started when I was about 19, and I was diagnosed with a syndrome
called polycystic ovaries and was pretty much told that I would not be able to conceive
naturally.
I then went for the next 15 years without a menstrual cycle—so I wasn't ovulating,
I wasn't having a period.
But during that time, I qualified as a clinical psychologist, and part of the work that I
was doing was with couples who were struggling with infertility.
And, through that work, I learnt a lot about how to prepare your mind and body for pregnancy.
So, when I met my partner and we decided to start a family, I put that stuff into practice,
and I think it was about 9 to 12 months it took, of using everything I knew, and I kick-started
my menstrual cycle.
We started to try to conceive, and I conceived really quickly, within a couple of months,
so that was wonderful—we were a bit surprised, but I carried that baby to term, had that
baby.
I was about 35, so I was a little bit older, so at that point, I think I fulfilled criteria
for a geriatric mother—which is always nice to hear(!) Then, about a year later, we decided
to try again.
And again, I conceived very quickly—following everything I knew to get my body and mind
in a good place—conceived again within a couple of months, carried that pregnancy to
term, had another little boy.
Then, about 18 months later, we tried again, and I got pregnant again, very quickly; carried
that pregnancy to term, had another little boy—at that point, I was 39.
And then, I think it was maybe a couple of years later, so I was about 41, and we decided
to try for a fourth and final baby.
And, again, I got pregnant very quickly, but this time, I had what's called a missed miscarriage—so
I got to about 10 weeks and went for a scan, and there was no heartbeat.
It was a big shock, because despite knowing everything I knew about how common miscarriage
was—how the more pregnancies you have, the more likely it is to happen; how I knew that
it was very common, or more common, as you kind of get over a particular age—it was
still a massive shock because up until this point, this hadn't been my experience.
So, my partner and I took a little bit of time to get our heads around it.
We decided to try again, but unfortunately, I got pregnant quickly—I think probably
the first month that I tried—but again I lost the pregnancy about seven weeks.
So, that was tricky because, obviously, I was aware that one miscarriage is quite common,
but two are less so.
So we tried again; I got pregnant again very quickly—this time it went a bit better.
I had a scan at seven weeks; we saw a heartbeat.
I had a scan at 10 weeks; we saw a heartbeat.
But then I went for my dating scan at 13 weeks, and they think that the baby had died a couple
of days before I'd had the scan.
So, you know, this was very difficult because I was aware that there's only 1% of people
who experience three consecutive miscarriages.
So, I think we thought at this point that maybe we were pushing our luck, the universe
was trying to tell us something, and maybe I was just too old—I think, at this point,
I was pushing 43, I think, at this point.
So we decided to focus on the three children we had—life was already very busy.
I suppose we weren't actively not trying...
So, five months later I started feeling really, quite unwell, and we discovered I was pregnant
again.
This was pretty nerve-wracking, we weren't expecting it.
But, I carried a pregnancy to term, and I had a fourth boy at 44.
So, probably, this book should be, 'How to Get Pregnant with a Boy'(!) Anyway... There
we go.
I guess the main reason that I'm sharing this with you is that it's possible to have four
children despite being well over 35; despite being told that you're infertile and that
you'd never be able to get pregnant naturally; and despite having three consecutive miscarriages—you
can still end up with four children...
I hope this is helpful to hear this story, particularly if you're struggling to get pregnant
or you keep having miscarriages—the stuff in this series, in the book, it can help you.
It can help you.
So, please, either read the book or watch the YouTube series.
And if it's helpful, please like, subscribe, and share with your friends.
Good luck with your fertility journey.
I'll see you soon.