We get these questions
into The Marriage Foundation -- it's a free
service. You
write in and we'll try to help you, one
of the counselors.
One of the questions that came in is,
"What to do about
unrequited love?"
This is a very interesting topic and
this is good whether you're married or
not
because it really is all about us as an
individual wanting to experience
unconditional love. My name is Paul
Friedman, I founded The Marriage
Foundation
and our approach to marriage is very
different and our approach to love
is also very different because we're not
guided by
mundane philosophies of western
psychology. We're guided
by the principles
that are universal. They're spiritual
principles
and the reason we chose spiritual
principles
is because marriage by virtue of the
fact
that the foundation of marriage is a
tangible spiritual thing.
It's called love. Don't you get married
to experience love? Don't you get married
to experience happiness?
These are tangible realities that
you cannot taste, touch, feel, etc
so they're spiritual by definition. Love
is spiritual by definition. Where does it
come from?
Unrequited love, we're talking about
I love him/her
but they don't love me back. Now
if you're not married, you might be a
little bit
frustrated because the mind is telling
you
and the mind is guided primarily in this
case by the drive to survive.
The self-preservation aspect of your
body because your body influences your
psychology.
Physiology influences psychology
and if you are not loved back
it means you have taken a risk,
you're vulnerable. You're not loved back.
There's danger, danger.
You got to remember. The
physiology, the body, the biology is
always black or white. It's binary.
You're either safe or you're in danger.
So it's such a simple thing
but we don't learn about how the mind
works
and about how our physiology affects our
mind.
So when we get into these situations
where the love
isn't there that we have offered,
we freak out. We shouldn't freak out. We
should be in control of our mind.
We should be able to alter the
perspective
that the mind has and bring ourselves
back
into a peaceful state. And if we were
taught these things
growing up, we'd have the tools to do so
but we're not. Now, is it the fault of
psychologists?
No, they don't know any better.
We live,
we think of ourselves as being so
civilized
but if you look back it hasn't been that
long since we have
learned words like energy, electricity
we are primitive. And so we're learning
as we go along,
and so the large schools of psychology
have not caught up because they're still
afraid
of spirituality even though it looks
them right in the eye
because love is spiritual. You just
cannot get away from that.
You cannot argue that. If you think of
love as
an emotion, you're screwed. You're not
going to have the benefits
of being a human being. Unrequited love,
simple, it's not a problem
unless you allow your mind to control
you.
If you're married then that
unrequited love is
98% of the time not
truly unrequited love.
What it is is a reduction
in the expressions of love, a reduction
in the feelings
of love but you're soul. Love does never go
away.
It's always there. So
I'm going to give you like a blanket
thing to do
that will change everything. Learn to
love without expectations,
it's so simple.
You've probably loved a movie
star
or a hero in your life
without expecting them to love you back,
same thing you felt good loving them.
Do so with this other person
and you'll be fine. It's literally
that simple. So, do not
be taken over by the fear
that you are not loved when you
experience
unrequited love instead turn it around
and become the greatest lover who's ever
lived,
who lives to love without wanting
anything in return.
Got it? Now by all means,
subscribe to this channel. You need to
learn about marriage so you could get
the greatest benefits
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