>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
DAVID, COULD I ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
CAN I ASK YOU AN IMPERSONAL QUESTION?
>> YES, PLEASE, THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE AN ADULT, RIGHT?
>> YES, I AM, A.O.L. BEIT ONE WITH BOYISHLY GOOD LOOKS.
>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE.
>> Stephen: YEAH, ME, TOO.
THINGS WERE SO MUCH SIMPLER DO YOU EVER MISS BEING A KID?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THINGS WERE SO MUCH THEN.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO KNOW THE REASONS FOR THINGS.
YOU COULD MAKE UP THINGS-- >> LIKE POLITICS NOW I HAVE TO
KNOW THE REASONS IF FOR THINGS.
>> Stephen: DO YOU EVER DREAMAVE PLACE WHERE YOU CAN GO
AND BE A KID AGAIN?
>> YES, I DO, I DO.
BUT THAT'S JUST A BEAUTIFUL DREAM.
>> Stephen: NO, DAVID.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL REALITY, INSIDE MY BLANKET FORT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: DAVID?
ARE YOU WEAK?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: >> Stephen: HEY, DAVID?
OH!
THAT'S SO SCARY.
DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!
HEY, HEY-- NO!
I'M NOT JOKING!
DON'T!
>> I'M SORRY.
>> Stephen: DON'T!
MY MOM DIDN'T PUT ANY PADS DOWN HERE.
( LAUGHTER ) IT DOESN'T HAPPEN THAT MUCH
ANYMORE BUT YOU DON'T AT THE PRESENT TIME TO HAPPEN.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: HEY, DAVID?
>> YES, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: HEY, DAVID?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A BRA?
( LAUGHTER ).
>> YEAH.
ONE TIME MY MOM TOOK ME TO J.C.
PENNY'S AND THEY WERE ON LADY MANNEQUINS.
IT MADE ME SCARED AND EXCITED.
( LAUGHTER ) HEY, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SNEEZE AND NO ONE SAYS "GOD BLESS YOU?"
>> Stephen: YOU GO TO HELL.
THAT'S WHAT MY BROTHER SAYS, HE SAYS GUTO HELL.
UNLESS YOU SAY "HEAVENS TO BETTY" AT THE SAME TIME.
>> DOES THAT REALLY WORK?
>> Stephen: IF YOUR NAME IS BETSY.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: WHAT?
>> I FEEL LIKE WE'RE BEING WATCHED.
( LAUGHTER ) GLP THAT'S MY SISTER?
>> OH, IT IS.
>> Stephen: GO TO BED, LULU!
YOU'RE NOT SCARING US!
HEY, DAVID?
>> STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE HAIR DOWN THERE?
>> OH!
( LAUGHTER ) WHAT!
NO WAY!
YOU'RE ONLY TWO MONTHS OLDER THAN I AM!
( LAUGHTER ) HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
>> IT'S A REAL BUSY TWO MONTHS, THOUGH.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: HOW MANY?
>> HOW MANY?
>> Stephen: HOW MANY?
>> EIGHT AND A HALF.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU MUST BE REALLY
STRONG.
>> YOU KNOW LIKE YOUR GRANDFATHER WHO IS BALD, AND HE
COMBS THE HAIR OVER THE BALD PART?
>> Stephen: YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: ALL THE WAY OVER?
WOW.
WOW!
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED SCRABBLE?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: WELL, DON'T.
YOUR PARENTS SAY IT'S FUN, BUT IT'S JUST COMPETITIVE
SPELLING WITH YOUR COUSINS.
HEY, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE SPECIAL HUGS THAT MOMS AND DADS
DO?
>> YEAH, I SAW A BOOK ABOUT IT ONCE.
THERE'S A LOT OF GRUNTING AND SWEATING, AND WHEN IT'S ALL
OVER, EVERYBODY'S REALLY HAPPY, EXCEPT MY MOTHER.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT ALL THE GRUNTING AND THE
SWEATING.
YOU KNOW-- YOU KNOW WHAT THEY CALL IT?
>> YEAH, THE HEIMLICH.
>> Stephen: I HEARD THEY HAD TO DO IT TO MY GRANDMA AT A
RESTAURANT.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: ARE YOU CRYING?
ARE YOU-- ARE YOU CRYING?
DON'T CRY!
>> I HOPE SHE LEFT A BIG TIP.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: HEY, ARE YOU
GONNA-- ARE YOU GONNA WATCH THE CANAC TWO-HOUR COMMERCIAL FREE
SEASON PREMIERE THIS SRD ON NBC?
>> ( BLEEP ) YEAH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).