- I had something I wanted to ask you.
- This is it.
It's finally happening.
- Do you wanna go out with me?
I wanna be with you forever.
Do you wanna join the rugby team?
- What?
- This did not go as planned.
Clearly.
(Upbeat music)
(Beeping)
- I am not here to be in a relationship
or to find someone to fall in love with.
- Hey. Hey. Hey.
- Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hey.
- Wait pause it.
This is the man I would marry.
- This person?
- Yes. I, I love him so much.
(beeping)
- Do you know Charlie Spring?
- Yeah I know Charlie Spring.
Are you friends?
- Yeah.
Yeah, we sit next to each other in form.
- Really?
- Come now it is not proper to stare.
- That was one steamy hug.
- He's straight Charlie.
- Sometimes people are straight.
- He's the straightest person I have ever seen.
- Ginormous heterosexual.
- [Robot] Meanwhile
(beeping)
- Do you like me?
- What?
- I really like you, Nick.
- [Robot] This is heterosexual torture.
Oh damn. A heart.
A full blown bisexual crisis incoming.
Bi panic. Bi panic. Bi panic.
I swear to god, let me hold his hand
but in like a homie way.
Well, that was gayer than I intended.
Not me zooming in.
Wait, no-
man get up this isn't you.
This is getting out of hand. Lip staring.
Lip staring, lip staring intensifies.
(record scratching)
- I'm having a proper full on gay crisis.
- Oh. That sounds gay.
- So you don't have a crush on anyone at the moment?
- Well I didn't say that.
- Oh.
- You're just gonna assume they're a she.
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah- ♪
- You know, gay rights.
- I support gays, even though I, myself,
am not actually gay.
- It was a stupid thing to do.
And I don't want you to be awkward about it
because it was all my fault.
- Charlie, hang on. - I shouldn't have kissed you.
- How queerphobic of you.
- You love the idea of me.
You love being seen with me,
but you don't love me.
- Not to mention disrespectful to all the gays,
the whole LTBZ community. - Close enough.
- Sir. (beeping)
- You sure your friends don't mind you ditching them
to eat lunch with me?
- Nah, they can deal with it.
- You're ruining our party.
You're destroying everything and for what?
So you can swap spit with some stupid-
- [Robot] Boy.
- You need to stop this thing with Nick Nelson.
- What?
- Now you're gonna tell me I'm just being jealous
because you made a new friend and I'm scared of being alone.
- Wow.
Aren't you?
♪ Silent night ♪
(beeping)
- I don't know if this thing with Charlie is a joke or not
but for some reason he really likes you
and you're messing with him and I will not tolerate it.
So consider this your final warning.
(typing)
- Yeah.
- I gotta say I'm just a, tad uncomfortable.
(beeping) - So Charlie Spring.
Quick question.
What's it like being gay?
(laughing) - Homophobia!
- This is a pathetic little- (beeping)
- Hey!
- Joyce.
- [Robot] Things that aged like milk.
- You and Nick Nelson are together?
- I mean, pretty much.
- Please make it stop.
Make it stop.
- [Robot] Things that aged like fine wine.
- I don't care about getting into fights or
pissing off my mates or anything like that.
It's all worth it to be with you.
- I like boys too.
♪ You play safe in your own way ♪
♪ Cast my feelings to the side ♪
- A hug.
- Yes.
- What kind of hug?
- A tight rather desperate hug.
(clicking)