The other week, I was sitting on my couch with my computer, writing about, in short,
living life to the fullest. A couple hours in, it started raining. So, I looked outside,
as one does despite having seen the rain thousands of times already, and I happened to peek into
my neighbor’s window, in the most non-creepy way possible, I promise. Anyway, she was prepping
something in the kitchen. In the window next to hers, a couple, or so it seemed, were laying
on the couch, watching something on TV. And I thought to myself:
What is wrong with just living an ordinary life?
I think we’ve all been there; you’re just going about your day, only to come across
a quote that says something like “To live life means to travel the world and buy a house
on the moon”. And you’re just like, oh, here I was, sitting in my small kitchen, with
my morning coffee listening to Harry Potter soundtracks, feeling perfectly content, but
I guess I’m not living enough, then”.
There’s no shortage of material to be found on how to go big in life: how to live large,
how to be bold and why you should dream bigger. How to live life to the fullest.
What do you think when you hear that phrase? Live life to the fullest?
My initial thought, as much as I may not want to admit it, goes to everything that we’d
describe as “epic”; things like swimming with sharks, bungee jumping, going to amazing
places, meeting cool people. Just a bunch of awesomeness.
Yet, it doesn’t appeal to me, not really. Not that I dislike travel or cool people,
some of my best memories are from those things, and I think one could probably life off the
high of having swum with sharks for a long time and it would make a really cool story,
but filling my life with such experiences is not my personal definition of a full life.
So why is it then that that’s where my mind goes when I think of living live to the fullest,
even though I don’t consider that to be my definition of it? Could it be an underlying
desire that I’m suppressing? I’m not sure, and I’m open to find out. What do you think?
Personally, part of me thinks it’s the influence of things like social media, tricking me into
thinking I’m craving that epic/awesomeness sort of lifestyle. Part of me blames my nature
as a human. We want to seem like we’re leading interesting lives, we like to be admired.
Think about it, if you could fill your life with epicness and awesomeness but you weren’t
allowed to share it with anyone, not through photos or videos, and not through telling
anyone, how appealing would that be to you?
We also want to live a life worth remembering; not just remembered by us, but by others as
well once we’re gone. And it just doesn’t seem like the lives of the ordinary will make
the cut. Such lives usually go unnoticed, unworthy of any sort of attention. We don’t
tell their stories.
At this point I should probably clarify what I mean, and what I do not mean, by ordinary
life.
I don’t mean not having dreams or passions. I don’t mean not challenging yourself or
not stepping out of your comfort zone.
What do I mean then?
I think this quote puts it beautifully:
“Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears.
Show them how to cry when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself.”
In my opinion, the ordinary is interesting if we choose to see it that way, and we shouldn’t
let a quote or a post trick us into thinking otherwise. It’s easier said than done, I’m
aware.
Here’s an example. Whenever I talk about journaling, there’s always at least a few
people commenting things like “I have nothing to write about, my life isn’t very interesting”.
And sure, fair enough, I’m not here to tell anyone what they should consider interesting
or not. But still, I think to myself– yeah, that’s what you think!
Write about how you got your groceries today! How did you plan for it? What did you get?
What’s the thought process when you’re picking out tomatoes? Do you get the ugly
ones because you feel sorry for them? How many avocados do you squeeze on average before
you find one you like? Do you judge when other people squeeze them? Take note of those small
decisions, behaviors and thoughts that go through your mind when doing something as
ordinary as getting groceries. Don’t underestimate the fascination that lies in the most mundane
of human experiences. Capture it.
Point is, it’s not always just the activity in itself, it’s also how we interact and
think of it.
You know, thinking about this has made me wonder, if all of this, the constantly-chasing-something
culture, is the reason we fail to see joy in some of the most basic and important things
that we as humans have, such as our relationships. Now, obviously I’m sure there are plenty
of other reasons for why there’s a 50% divorce rate in this country, but I can’t help but
wonder if we’re so busy dreaming and chasing the “bigger” and “better” and “cooler”
things in life, that we forget to nurture what’s in front of us? Like not watering
your plant at home because you’re busy dreaming about palm trees. And yet, we have the audacity
we ask ourselves why our plant is looking so pale and act surprised when it dies.
As some of you know, my favorite book to this day is Stoner, which is one of the most uneventful
books I’ve read. It’s about a man who lives a very modest, ordinary life, yet I
find him to be extraordinarily interesting. Now obviously, it’s not just because of
the storyline, the writing is also really excellent, I’m sure he, the author, John
Williams, could’ve written about pretty much anything and made it interesting. By
the way, it makes me so happy when you send me photos of you reading Stoner because I’ve
talked about it so much. And if you haven’t read it, I’ll leave the link for it down
below if you want to check it out.
I want to be clear that the purpose of this video is not to dismiss anyone who chooses
a fast-paced life or who dreams of epicness. I find just as much admiration in that as
I do in those who desire a slower life with more ordinariness. I just want those who choose
the latter to not feel guilt or feel like less or not good enough because they think
they’re not living up to the social media standard of what it means to live life to
the fullest. That’s all, really.
So, anyway, I’m gonna go and put on that boring ass Harry Potter soundtrack now, water
my boring ass plants and have a lame ass cup of coffee and then I’m going on an epic
walk.
Thank you for watching this ordinary video until the end, and as always, I’ll see you
in the comment section, which I know, is going to be filled with plenty of awesomeness, because
you guys are awesome. Alright, bye.