(deep breathing)
- Why do you love me?
Such meaningful beautiful questions.
- Yeah.
(paper rustling)
(silence)
(mouse clicking)
- [Nandi] When you think back to our first date,
what's your favorite memory?
(Jake snickering)
- So we went to a Japanese restaurant.
You ordered vegetable tempura,
not knowing really what vegetable tempura was
in its entirety.
- I was very upset.
- So you get it, and you look at me, and you go,
"Are these French fries?"
(both laughing)
- They looked like French fries though.
Like what was up with that?
- And then you ate it.
But, obviously, like, that's not really
the best meal in the world,
like a couple of fried vegetables.
- Yeah, I thought I was like...
I just was trying to be healthy.
- I was trying to buy you more food,
and you were like, "No, no, please,
don't buy me anything else," and I was like,
"Are you full?
Like, did you enjoy that?"
And you're like, "No, not really, but it's still...
Don't buy me anything else."
- I was just trying to be healthy, you know.
- You were just being sweet.
- Yeah.
- You excited; you eager?
- I'm very eager.
- What is it about me that makes you feel
like I understand you?
This, I know what you're gonna say.
- You know what I'm gonna say?
- Mhm.
- I mean, you always say that you understand me.
- I do.
Why do you think that is?
- 'Cause we've been through a lot of the same stuff.
Like with my parents being sick and whatever,
like you understand that.
I know that, for a fact,
not a lot of people can relate to that,
especially since we're kind of young,
and it's kind of unfortunate, but...
- Would you say that was the turning point
on our first date?
- Yeah, I feel like when I was telling you...
And I don't typically tell people that, off bat too,
either when I first meet them
'cause I feel like it's telling someone that,
"Oh, both my parents have had cancer."
I feel like that's kind of like...
It's private.
Like you don't talk about that type of stuff
on a first date, but I...
You have this energy to you that's very warming,
and I feel like I can talk to you all the time,
and you understand me, and I'm very...
I'm not thankful that you could relate to me, of course...
It's not nice what we've been through.
- But you were surprised when I said,
"Holy shit, me too."
- Yeah.
(both laughing)
- That was crazy; that was unexpected.
- Yeah, I think that's...
- But I'm glad you can relate.
- I think that's why we understand each other,
for the most part.
- For sure.
- Your turn.
(paper rustling)
What's something that you see in me
that I don't see in myself?
- Something I see in you that you don't see in yourself
that you're completely capable of taking over the world
without anyone's help.
And that you don't need to change anything about yourself.
- Thank you, Jake.
- I think you probably take other people's opinion
into consideration too much.
- Definitely.
- And it stresses you out sometimes.
You don't need to because you're perfect.
- Thank you.
(both laughing)
Love you.
(paper rustling)
(Jake humming)
(paper rustling)
- It's a free card.
If you had met me two years before you did...
- Okay.
- And I was in a very different place in my life,
not a great place in my life, pretty...
Pretty broke, didn't have a place in the city,
didn't have any, like, music or anything like that,
do you think you still with have fallen for me?
- Of course.
You're you.
- As quickly as you did?
- Of course, why wouldn't I?
I mean, we still would be relating
to the same type of stuff, I feel like, for sure,
if it was just two years ago.
- We might've even gotten closer sooner
because I was like more in the midst of all that stuff.
- Yeah.
I feel like we probably would have honestly gotten along
better, if anything.
- Damn.
- No, no, like, I'm not saying it as a diss.
I'm not saying it as a diss at all.
It's just...
'Cause when you met me,
I was going through stuff too, personally.
So yeah, we probably would have been able
to relate better in that sense.
- Yeah, definitely.
Oh, better question.
Do you think if we didn't have similar, like,
family situations and came from upstate New York
and moved to the city to pursue our dreams
and stuff that we would've connected?
- Like with our parents?
- Yeah, and if we weren't both from upstate New York?
- I mean, I don't really connect you
'cause you're from upstate New York, to be honest.
- I kind of do, it's rare.
Like all my friends are still up there.
- But with our parents,
it probably be a little bit different, for sure,
If you couldn't relate to the whole cancer thing
of having sick parents, you know, 'cause I've...
My past relationships were kind of like that;
they couldn't relate to that at all,
or maybe their grandpa or something had it, or their uncle,
and still it's the same type of sorrow and pain,
but when it's your own parent, it's...
It's different.
- Or both...
- Yeah, it's completely different.
And that's what not a lot of people seem to understand.
- Yeah.
I feel like in past relationships,
my significant others were really, like, overwhelmed
about things that just didn't seem overwhelming to me,
and it didn't really make sense.
It's, like, hard to connect to.
- What do you mean by overwhelmed?
- It's like, "I'm stressed out about coursework.
And about school."
It's like, "What?
Everybody goes to school, like, I'm doing that too,
but also all this shit is going on, so..."
- And that's why I feel like I can connect to you so well
because...
- We don't have petty problems.
- Yeah, we don't have petty problems.
Like, I'm not mad that my parents
don't give me a monthly allowance of a hundred dollars
like some people our age in New York City, but it's just...
It's just like...
Yeah, we relate to the same type of issues.
But, obviously, our parents had different forms of cancer,
but it's still cancer.
It's still, like, the same.
It's still the same; cancer is cancer.
How do you think our lives would be different
if we had never met?
- Damn, I'd be a lot less happy.
I just feel like...
I know I've never met anyone like you,
who I connected to.
Kind of felt lonely, which is good and bad.
Before I met you. I felt lonely
just 'cause I couldn't relate to people, but...
- Me too for sure.
I know if...
We had never met, currently, right now,
I'd probably be doing finals for school.
(both laughing)
- Are you trying to say I convinced you
to drop out of school?
- No, I didn't drop out.
Like, I'm just...
This is my gap year, but, yeah,
I would definitely be...
I wouldn't have gotten the courage to come to New York City.
I know that for a fact.
If we never met, I wouldn't have had
the courage to pursue my dreams.
(paper rustling)
- How have I changed most since the first time we met,
and how do you feel about it now?
- How have you changed the most?
- Yeah.
- I think you've become more vulnerable.
- More vulnerable?
- Yeah.
As in, like, when I say, "Vulnerable,"
like, you've become more...
- I've let my guard down?
- Yeah, you've let your guard down with me.
You've definitely... - I had to impress you.
- You've definitely become more comfortable with me.
More cute, for sure.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
(Nandi laughing)
I'm hard as rock. - Okay.
But, yeah, when I first met you,
you were definitely putting up a facade for a minute
of trying to act cool.
- I wasn't trying to act cool.
I wasn't trying to act corny.
- How could you act corny though?
You know, I love attention and love, like...
- How many times have I bought you flowers?
You know how corny I am sometimes.
- No, that's not corny though.
I wouldn't say that's corny.
- You like it?
- I love it.
- Hope so.
- What does our love feel like?
- A relief from all the bad stuff in life.
For sure.
- That's a good answer --
- Anxiety, stress, all that.
- Love you.
(Jake laughing)
- You're adorable.
(silence)
- Hi, everyone, thank you so much for watching this video.
If you wanna explore your relationship,
we have "The And" relationship card game
available at our store at theskindeep.com/shop.
Thank you so much.