Welcome Optimus.
Thank you for joining me.
What devious schemes are you up to this time Megatron?
Nothing.
I'm simply inviting my dear friend over for a chat.
Is that so wrong?
I just don't trust you.
So seventh movie. That's exciting.
The Transformers story ought to be extremely developed by now.
Right?
What new story points can we expect to see this time?
Uhhh
We have a cool sports car Autobot that a human is going to meet
for the very first time.
And then we're going to fight a big planet destroying foe and save the earth.
Okay so nothing new, just a carbon copy of every movie you’ve ever done in the past.
Cool!
What?
So how have you been?
Are you good?
What's been going on in your life?
I have a serious question.
What is it?
When are we going to get a proper movie about Megatron?
I thought we did.
With the eyes and the glasses thing.
No, I mean the real Megatron.
This Megatron. Me!
I am the whole reason the Autobots even have a story right?
You have been the cause for a lot of our problems yeah.
So it seems only fair that I get to have a proper story arc.
Uh huh
I have an idea.
All right.
I think you like this.
Okay.
What if.
Picture this. We're in the eighties, right?
Mmhmm
And Bumblebee has already had this thing with whats-her-face.
Charlie.
Yes whatever.
All of that already happened.
And then, bum bum BUM!
Megatron crashes on Earth.
But get this.
I crawl out of the wrecked ship.
And then as I go to say “I am Megatron!”
I can't. But why?
Because get this.
I've lost my voice.
You know, because I yell a lot.
Right.
And so, being all by myself.
I have to get back to my Decepticons.
Because I want to destroy and rule everything you see.
Right.
But I'm going to need help.
That's when-
this bully teenager finds me.
We could call him Spike.
You know that sounds like a good bully name, right?
Spike.
Uhhh.
You don't already have someone named Spike in these storylines do you?
Anyway!
Spike and I. We bond over a brief time.
I teach him how to be a better bully.
We vanquish a few of his enemies together.
And he teaches me how to hack into a communications tower.
because he's also into hacking.
Right.
Then, when we are stealing some non-renewable energy from the Earth.
That's when the Autobots will show up.
It's about time!
Yes!
So the Autobots will try to defeat me.
And we’ll have some awesome battles.
But of course I'll be too powerful right.
So I'll get away.
Boooo!
But then, this is the best part.
Just before I make my escape.
After y’know I successfully discover where the Decepticon lair is.
I have to say goodbye to my new bully friend Spike.
Or
maybe he has to say goodbye to me, you know.
because he's grown into his “prime”.
You get it?
Or maybe he's just getting arrested.
I don't know.
The point is, he now has full confidence in all of his bully-hackerness.
After our unforgettable journey together.
So, what do you think?
That sounds like a terrible idea.
Oh really!?
Because I think it sounds exactly like every movie you guys do.
Except this time it's about me!
Ours are way different though!
How?! You blow things up! Humans freak out and buildings crumble.
What do you have makes my idea so different this time?
This time
We have the Maximals.
Oh Whoopie!
Hooray for you!
I hope you don't do them dirty like you did-
The Dinobots!
Wha- How dare you!
Where is my movie!
Megatron, Soundwave, Starscream.
That is 3 billion dollars right there.
You know I'm right.