- We got a bro-sectomy.
- Let's talk about that.
(playful theme music)
Good mythical morning.
- We both have a beautiful brood of children,
and we love them very much, but at a certain point,
it's time to say enough is enough,
and get your junk snuffed.
- Now for those of you who don't know,
a vasectomy is when the doctor cuts some little tubes
in your McDonald's ball pit,
as a permanent birth control method.
- What kind of ball pit only has two?
That's a lame ball pit. - Mine.
But you know what, it's also a great time
to connect with your best friend.
- Yeah it is, so what we did is we documented
the entire procedure and process of us getting vasectomies,
not at the exact same time, but in rapid succession,
while being in the same room
with each other the whole time.
And we brought cameras along,
which means, mythical beasts, we brought you along.
- Now word of warning, we are not going to show
any of the actual parts during the procedure,
so this isn't like watching a medical procedure.
But, there is a lot of talk about male reproductive organs,
because that's basically all that was being dealt with
in the ball pit.
So if that kind of talk, a lot of that kind of talk,
makes you feel uncomfortable, or you don't want to hear that
then feel free to click away, but if you're into
that kind of thing, today is your lucky day.
- So we invite you to join us on a field trip
to get vasectomies
Let's do it.
- Okay, it's 40 minutes until the appointment,
whoever goes first has to take a Valium.
- Well I'd like to go first.
- Well I wanna go first.
I'm not calm right now.
- Rock, paper, scissors.
- [Together] Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
- Ha ha ha, ho, wooh!
- For a second I thought I won.
- No, rock beats scissors man, I'm going first,
you're going to have to watch me.
- Before you take it, you're gonna have to sit there
and create internetainment while I get the surgery done,
the procedure, let's not call it a surgery.
- I'm gonna let you do that.
- You know by me going second, I'm realizing,
it drastically increases the chances
That I'm gonna bail out of this entirely.
- Yeah, that's why I'm going first,
'cause I want to be the infertile one.
The infertile one.
Did you shave?
- No I didn't.
I was like, I'm not gonna shave for this.
Oh, I thought you were talking about my face.
- I'm talking about your balls, man.
- No, he said we didn't have to.
- He said we don't have to shave,
but the sheet that he gave us said you need to shave.
- I didn't read the sheet.
Time to take the edge off.
- This bottle has my name on it.
I took yours, you took mine.
- [Link] I don't think they're special.
- Should we tell the doctor?
- I don't think so.
(ominous music)
- [Receptionist] Hi, how are you?
- Hey, we're Rhett and Link, we're here for the bro-sectomy.
- Oh cool.
Sounds fun, let me let your nurse know
you guys are here, okay.
- You'll be right in here, okay guys.
You're first, right, so I'm gonna ask you
to completely undress yourself, everything.
Then you're gonna put your clothes right there,
and you're gonna put this gown
with the opening towards the back, but do not tie it.
Then you're gonna have a seat and you can put
this white drape on your lap,
and I'm gonna come back to set you up for the rest.
- What is that a shot of right there, though,
am I gonna drink that?
- [Nurse] No, this is to sterilize the field
right before we do anything.
- This is the field?
- [Nurse] Yes, that's the field.
- Never called it the field before,
but I do play on it.
- My dad just texted me asking what I'm doing.
I'm getting a vasectomy, will talk later.
Hate to keep him waiting, now he'll just be worried.
When he got a vasectomy, he was like,
one of mine swelled up afterwards the size of a grapefruit.
- It won't.
Alrighty guys, I'll be back in two.
- Is it too late to back out?
(dramatic music)
- Yeah, I'd love to go first.
- No, just, permanently.
- Oh, you took your underwear off already?
I'm not taking mine off until I have to.
- Hey man, this is the last time
you'll ever work properly.
After this, you're gonna be like a gun they use
on a film set, shooting blanks.
I'm think I'm starting to feel the effects.
- That's that pill talking.
- Everything's gonna be okay.
I don't even have a lower half of my body.
I'm just a torso and a head and arms, that's all I am.
- Alright here we go, hello.
- Hello. - Hey doc.
- Wow, you're ready to go.
We're going to start the process
by doing a little prep.
Uh oh, he's getting nervous.
It's like, whoa, these guys are checking me out.
Alright, legs together.
- I've already seen it twice man.
- Really? - By accident.
- [Doctor] Was it pre-puberty or post-puberty?
- No, just right now.
- You know, for all of you out there,
let me kind of walk you all through this.
- You talking to the mythical beasts?
- The first, the preparation, like often when you do
any kind of project, is most important.
And people are probably wondering, what is this for?
That's to keep Mr. Happy out of the way and happy.
- So you're giving them an instructional video
so that they can do this at home?
- Absolutely.
- This has become a YouTube tutorial.
- How to perform your own vasectomy.
- Full disclosure, don't do it.
Okay, here we go, so now I'm gonna take this little razor,
and you may think this is gonna be horrible,
but these are kind of designed for a little dry shave,
and I'm just gonna shave off a little quarter size here.
Just a lil, that's it, hurt?
- Oh gah gah, yeah.
- Okay, one more thing.
- Feeling any draft down there?
- I feel nothing but draft.
That whole thing about how I thought that the lower half
of my body was just another part of the universe
disassociated with me, doesn't really work
once it's exposed to air.
- Alright, so I'm just gonna do a little exam,
I'm feeling around, one last sterile feel.
- Do you feel that?
You've touched your own balls before,
can't be any different having him touch 'em.
- It's a little different.
- I'm actually not touching his balls,
I'm touching his scrotum, let's get anatomically correct.
- Did you find 'em yet?
- Little pinch and a burn, boom.
(Rhett grunts)
There we go, another Rosco.
You're gonna feel a little puncture,
there it is, do you feel that?
- I can't tell.
- Well that's the idea I guess.
- So you just popped his balloon?
- I just made a little puncture in the skin.
- He's made the hole.
- So you do one hole and get both sides?
- I can't tell you how I do that.
- Is that patented?
- That is correct.
So you're gonna feel something,
may feel a little more, here we go.
Also just for those of you lovelies at home,
once you have a vasectomy, it will make no difference
in the quantity of semen, since sperm
only represents about five percent quantitatively
of what is in the semen.
- So the mailman is gonna be delivering packages?
- Well he's gonna be delivering packages,
but the packages will be empty.
- What did that feel like Rhett?
- Did you look? - No, I ain't looking.
- Do you have it out right now?
- We're getting the lay of the land here.
- I heard a snip.
- [Doctor] The clamp is okay.
- [Link] What does it feel like coming?
- I feel like a pulling, a little pressure and some pulling.
♫ A little pressure and some pulling
- All is going well.
- I feel like you're doing it to me already.
♫ I feel like I need some kind of song
♫ To sing to myself to make me feel good
- We will now clip the proximal limb of the vas deferens,
and that's now done.
- I saw a little bit of a cord.
- Hold me Link. - That is clammy man.
♫ This is how we do it.
- I'm now going to cauterize your vas deferens.
You will not only hear the sound of cautery.
I'm going to actually,
- You're burning it.
- The smell is usually the most memorable.
What do they say like--
- 80 percent of taste, I feel like I'm tasting
my own balls, right now.
- It just hit me, I've never wanted to smell
your balls before, definitely not from the inside.
- You should see the guys shooting your camera.
- Don't lock your knees guys, whatever you do.
- [Doctor] I don't think they're gonna make it.
- It kind of smells like marshmallows.
- Ew. - Like marshmallows
that went too far.
- Bust out the graham crackers and chocolate bars.
- Don't please.
- All I can see is his hand plunging a needle
into your nutsack. (Rhett calls out)
♫ This is how the doctor does it
♫ It's gonna be okay
♫ I'm gonna walk out of here a whole man
- Not really.
- Hang in there.
- Would it help if I bit your--
- It would help if you just kind of stroke his hair.
- I need to touch another human.
I know this is weird Link.
- What the stroking of one's hair,
or the watching of one's vasectomy, which is weirder?
- I've never stroked his hair like that.
- Describe what it feels like, because I'd like to know.
- It feels like I had a yo-yo down there,
and I didn't know about it until the doctor
pulled it out, like a Duncan special.
- Ooh, he's burning again.
- Now he's burning the yo-yo string.
- By the way, do we wanna actually for posterity and fame
show people the piece of vas deferens.
- Absolutely, yes.
- [Doctor] This would be it, it's like a piece
of al dente pasta.
- [Rhett] Oh it sure is.
- I'm really sorry to tell you this,
but the party is now coming to an end.
- Mmmm, just saw the wiener again.
- There it is.
- I've reached my quota of three.
Wrap this man up and get him off the table.
- I made it look easy, but it was pretty tough.
- Are you okay?
Are you getting lightheaded or anything?
- A little bit, but, - Oh boy.
I think you're gonna need that Demerol shot.
- Let's just see what,
- I'm gonna give you that Demerol shot.
- Let's just see what happens.
- Thank you doctor.
That was exhilarating.
I'd do it again if I had four balls.
- Can I give you two of mine?
Ow, ow, ow. - It's the medication,
it burns a little bit.
- How quick does it take effect?
- You'll see the difference once he start, you know.
- [Rhett] Oh I'm sure I will.
- The thing is you go your whole life instinctively
protecting these berries, and now here I am
just spreading my legs, putting 'em on a platter
for some guy that I just met once
to fondle, poke, prod, and pull, snip, burn, and chuff,
and then pat me on the back.
It's just not natural.
- Well yeah, but it's not like he's a sushi chef.
He's a doctor, he's been educated in this.
He's done this before, he's already done this today,
to me, and another guy.
- How long ago did he get it?
- I don't think it's, - 10 minutes.
- I don't think I'm fully feeling anything yet.
- You're getting there, you're doing great,
you're a champ.
Alright, once again, we tape the happy guy
up on the belly there to keep him out of the way.
- Oh, there it is.
- Have you seen?
- [Doctor] Do you want him to see your wiener?
- Yeah.
So I've got two of 'em.
- You still got two, and I'm just kind of, you know,
getting the lay of the land, feeling around here.
A little pinch and a burn, boom.
- I'm gonna watch.
- Alright, he's all over it.
Okay, so you're gonna, you may feel a little bit
of that tugging, you may feel it
in your abdomen a little bit.
- This is the yo-yo part.
- Yeah, it's just a little bit of a weird sensation.
You alright?
- Can you imagine getting on a public bus,
looking back and seeing this happen in the back?
- What is he saying?
- You walk into the back, - It's the Demerol.
- It's taking effect. - It's the Demerol
- Yeah, ooh, that f--, ooh, ooh, that's gross feeling.
- Gross feeling? - It feels like
you're taking my testicle and shoving it up into my pelvis.
- I am.
- It is interesting that one of the balls is completely out.
- Oooh, this spot right here is notable.
- You need to stroke my hair?
- I feel like. - I'm here to be stroked
if you need that.
If that makes you feel better.
Don't grab, just stroke.
- Oh shoot, shoot.
Now listen kids,
- Oh, this is a kids show?
- They take the van around, and they put the dogs in,
and then they shave 'em.
And that's what this could be like if we were in a bus.
- Alright, there's that vas deferens.
- Oooh, the buzzing of burning of my scrotum.
- Oh wow, it's actually the cauterization that cuts it.
- Numero uno.
- Yes. - Yours is redder than mine.
- Why is mine redder than his?
- Less use.
- Alright, another little pinch and a burn.
(Link makes high-pitched sounds)
- Why don't you sing a song.
♫ Once upon a time, I was laying with my nuts out
♫ And a guy walked up and said, ooh, what's that feeling
♫ Oooh, it feels funny
♫ I'm just waiting to never make a baby
♫ But to make a lot of love not worrying about
♫ Having to make a baby
- That's a good one, that's good.
♫ I'm just waiting
♫ To not make a baby
♫ I'm just waiting to make a lot of love
♫ Without making a baby
♫ Ooooh yeah, baby
- Numero dos.
- Oh man, it's over.
Clean-up time, one more chance for alc--
- It was nothing, right.
- I would say it was something,
because it was not comfortable.
- I mean it wasn't pleasant, I wouldn't sign up
for it every day.
- Papercuts could be worse.
Sometimes, sometimes if you stub your toe,
oh my goodness, and not the big toe,
I'm talking like when something snags
one of those middles toes, this was nothing like that.
'Cause no one was holding my balls at the time.
- Is this, I don't really know, watch the show,
is this Demerol, or is this him?
- Eh, it's a little of both.
- I am an infertile monster,
with no risk of,
pro-, procreation. - That's the Demerol.
Okay, lie back down again.
- [Rhett] That's the Demerol.
- Oh man, I'm so relieved.
Am I ever gonna see you again?
- Come on up.
Yeah, all you have to do is watch this episode,
you could see me every day.
(upbeat music)
- We did it man.
- We did it, we can't make babies.
- Yeah. - With our wives.
- Now it's probably a good time to let you know
that this was all a prank and you just got circumcised.
- Yep, I was already circumcised.
- I feel closer to you now.
- I'm happy for you.
- Thanks for liking, commenting, and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi, I'm Alec from Rexburg, Idaho,
and it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- If you want to see us on our Tour of Mythicality
this fall, there's only two ways to do that,
either the New York show or the LA show that we have added,
everything else is sold out, go to TourOfMythicality.com
to get your tickets before they are gone forever.
- And click through to Good Mythical More,
where we are gonna have a candid discussion
about the aftermaths of our surgeries.
- Don't Google That.
Whatever you do, do not Google close up belly button.
- Don't Google it.
- You already have, haven't you?
- Oh, you did it.
Thanks for clicking subscribe.
- [Rhett] Click on the left to watch
our show after the show, Good Mythical More.
- [Link] Click the video on the right
to watch another episode of Good Mythical Morning.
- [Rhett] And be sure to check out our other channel,
This Is Mythical, by clicking the video on the bottom.
- [Link] Thanks for being your mythical best.