- WE ARE BACK WITH THE BRILLIANT MERYL STREEP,
WHO IS UP FOR AN OSCAR FOR AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY.
AND YOU REALLY CAN DO ANYTHING.
I MEAN, IF YOU LOOK AT YOUR ROLES
ACROSS ALL THE FILMS THAT YOU'VE DONE,
YOU'RE FUNNY, YOU'RE SEXY, YOU'RE DRAMATIC.
YOU KNOW, YOU CAN-- YOU'RE DRUNK.
- I'M BORING.
- YOU'RE NOT BORING.
YOU'RE NEVER BORING.
SO I THOUGHT I WOULD PROVE IT TO EVERYONE
IN CASE ANYONE QUESTIONED ME ON THAT.
THIS IS AN OATMEAL RECIPE,
AND I WOULD LIKE TO READ IT,
BUT I WOULD LIKE YOU TO READ IT SEXY.
- "IN A SMALL SAUCE PAN,
"BRING TWO CUPS OF WATER TO A BOIL.
"OVER MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT,
"STIR IN OATS.
"WHEN OATMEAL BEGINS TO THICKEN...
"REDUCE HEAT AND SIMMER,
STIRRING OCCASIONALLY FOR 30 MINUTES."
30 MINUTES?
- [laughs]
- FASTER THAN AT MY HOUSE.
[laughs]
- ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS A TRAFFIC REPORT,
BUT YOU'RE GONNA READ IT AS A WOMAN IN LABOR.
- OH, MY GOD.
- THAT'S RIGHT. - OKAY.
- A TRACK REPORT-- TRAFFIC, OKAY.
- BUT YOU'RE IN LABOR.
- [breathing heavily]
"LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR
"TUESDAY DRIVE.
[breathing rapidly]
"HEAVY BACKUP-- HEAVY BACKUP AS USUAL ON THE--
[screams]
"I-10 AND THE-- OH, MY GOD--THE 710
"INTO DOWNTOWN.
OKAY.
GOT A JACKKNIFE, BIG RIG IN THE TWO-LANE.
[breathing rapidly]
101 WESTBOUND IN BALBO--
AH!
[panting]
OH!
OH, I WOULDN'T CONSIDER GETTING THROUGH THERE ANY TIME SOON.
[laughs]
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
[cheers and applause]
- ONE LAST ONE.
ONE LAST ONE.
THIS IS WIKIPEDIA,
BUT YOU'RE READING IT AS AN ANNOYED TEENAGER.
- YOU'VE HAD ONE OF THOSE.
- HOW CAN I PULL THAT UP?
[scoffs]
[groans]
"THE FIRST RECORDED INSTANCE OF SANDPAPER
WAS IN THE 13TH CENTURY, MOTHER.
- [laughs]
- WHEN CRUSHED SHELLS, SEEDS, AND SAND
WERE BONDED TO PARCHMENT USING NATURAL GUM.
- [laughs]
- OKAY?
[applause]
- "AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY" IS IN THEATERS NOW.
WE WILL BE BACK WITH VANESSA HUDGENS.
THAT'S MERYL STREEP, EVERYBODY.