hey practitioners today we're going to
be doing a video on eight tips how not
to be shot this was a collaboration with
another channel the link is in the
description and they'll also be in the
end screen so let's get started
many people want to reduce their shyness
but people who are naturally shy also
have gifts that they might not
appreciate in themselves for example
because I people may prefer listening to
talking they sometimes become really
good listeners people who are shy might
also become a little bit more sensitive
to other people's feelings and emotions
in a sense becoming more emotionally
intelligent because of their sensitivity
and listening skills many people with a
shy personality are especially caring
towards others and interested in how
others feel people often consider them
the finest friends of course some people
want to feel less shy so that they can
have more fun socializing and being
themselves around others every trying to
become less shy
here are some tips number one overcoming
shyness takes practice
people who are shy him to give
themselves fewer chances to practice
social behaviors it's no wonder that
people who shy away from socializing
don't feel as socially confident those
who are going because they have less
practice just like that study where that
guy had a wider face which made him more
approachable and because he was
approached more over time he became more
sociable the more you practice social
behaviors the easier they get the more
natural they feel for you that number to
focus your attention outward not on
yourself this is one of the most
important aspects of shyness and social
anxiety most shy people don't do this on
purpose but often attention is
consistently drawn to yourself during
conversation
this makes you self wearing the wrong
way and keep you a vicious cycle
rotating research has shown that made
play a key role in why people might
experience panic attack after relatively
mild anxious moments show interest in
other people and or the surrounding you
may feel like everyone is watching you
but generally people are not judging
distorted perception is the culprit in
this situation others are busy doing
their own thing and in most cases are
not have to get you a common
misconception is that shy people are in
Traverse introverts in fact enjoy
solitude and recharged by spending time
alone on the contrary people who are shy
desperately want to engage with others
but for scrutiny your judgment that
number three is to take slow steady
steps forward going slow is ok but be
sure to go forward
do not confuse movement for
progress sitting back from any situation
that might trigger you to feel shy can
reinforce shyness and keep it at a level
that's hard to get past build confidence
by taking one small forward step at a
time aim to break the habit of negative
thoughts by becoming aware of when
you're falling prey to them and by
challenging their logic for example just
because you're nervous in a crowd or at
a party does not mean you look off word
others around you may be getting a case
of the nerves to tip number four it's
okay to feel awkward
everyone does this sometimes that
awkward handshake that awkward
half-smile people who are shy are often
afraid to feel awkward or uncomfortable
but don't let that keep you from doing
what you want you might feel awkward
asking your crush on our first date
that's perfectly natural with your
crushes yes or no is out of your control
but not asking means you'll never get
the date so go for it anyways
start small with people you know
practice social behaviors like I
contacts confident body language
introduction Smalltalk asking questions
and invitations with people you feel
most comfortable rent smile and build
your confidence it's like when you can
branch out to do this with strangers
also tip number five think of some
conversation serves often the hardest
part of talking to someone is getting
started
think of conversation openers like
introducing yourself hi I'm Chris run
the same English class giving a
compliment the jacket looks great on you
for asking a question you know when our
report is due to being ready with a
conversation starter makes it easier to
approach someone hears some conversation
starter example you can talk about the
location or the adventure at you can
look around and see if there's anything
worth pointing out where you can use the
form method also combine general remarks
with open-ended questions
Cynthia one of these might be awkward or
out of place in its own combine them for
the maximum effect for example that's a
nice handbag where did you get it
this was the handbag owner talk about
the day that they went shopping and all
the funny stuff that happened as opposed
to like your handbag I could get awkward
for who
where'd you get that handbag see that
could also be awkward tip number six
rehearse what you say i do this all off
when you're ready to try something
you've been avoiding because of shyness
like a phone call or a conversation
write down what you want to say
beforehand i actually used to do this my
first job interview was actually on the
phone and I wrote down most of what i
wanted to say rehearse it out loud even
in this in front of a mirror then just
do it don't worry if it's not exactly
like what you practice or if it's not
perfect
now this can go the wrong way to if you
focus so much on what you're going to
say that when you mess up you get
anxious
that's bad learn to improvise few of the
things more confident saving people do
our perfect either be proud that you
gave to go next time it'll be even
better because it will be easier that
number 7 give yourself a chance
fine group activities where you can be
with people who share your interests
it's easier to connect with people who
have like interest give yourself a
chance to practice socializing with
these new people and get to know them
slowly people who are shy often worried
about failing or how other people will
judge them now for me a lot of this one
away when i graduated high school in
mind for you to tori's and feelings like
these can keep you from trying if
self-criticism plays a role for you then
ask yourself whether you'd be this
critical of your best friend ditches are
you be much more accepting to treat
yourself like your own best friend
encourage yourself instead of expecting
to fail
tip number eight is to develop your
service because I people can be overly
concerned with other people's reactions
they don't want to rock the boat that
doesn't mean that they're wimpy or
cowardly but it can mean that they're
less likely to be assertive or state
their own opinion being assertive mean
speaking up for yourself when you should
asking for what you want or need for
telling other people when they're
stepping on your toes now assertiveness
and authority to the topic for a whole
nother video so most of all be yourself
it's okay to try out different
conversational approaches you see others
using but say and do what fits your
style be self-aware and do it work for
you being the real you and daring to let
yourself be noticed is what attracts
friends hope you guys enjoyed this video
and learn something and if you did leave
a like below and go check out their
channel thanks for watching