It was Christmas morning, and I was in
Hollywood, and I wake up.
And I'm basically throwing up from all alcohol and stuff I'd
done the night before.
It just felt like a dark hole that would never end.
The most difficult time is when knowing very well that I
was facing some prison time, and knowing very well that
there was no second chance.
It was dark because I didn't know I was,
or where I was going.
I was doing things that made me feel disgusted with myself.
On one occasion I felt so bad, that I was impelled to call
upon God, although I hadn't prayed for about 10 years.
And I'm just praying, God, what can you help me do?
Help me here.
It's just me and you again.
I was humble enough to feel that there is something else.
And I wanted to know, so I fell to my knees
and earnestly asked.
Just asking for a sign for Him.
But I think it was for me to stop and think of what I was
really searching for.
And in answer to that, I had an overwhelming feeling of
calm and peace come over me.
I felt this warmth coming over me, like I've never
experienced in my life, ever.
Almost like a hug, just wrapped around me.
To describe it was indescribable, it
felt like pure love.
At that moment I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that
Jesus Christ lived, and that He was the epitome of love
which I'd been looking for, and could never find it.
And that's when I really started seeking Christ,
because I knew He was real.
I'd done everything in the world man had to offer, and
none of it was real.
It was a whole lifestyle change, leaving the world to
follow Christ. I feel like Christ gave me another chance.
He has brought me from a place that I thought I'd never be
able to crawl out of.
In the long run, I've noticed that wherever He has taken me,
it's always been for a better result.
The modeling industry, I mean, sometimes they don't even want
me to talk.
You're a hanger, literally.
There is an eternal plan here.
This isn't everything, being in a magazine.
I felt that I truly found Christ when I truly repented.
I haven't been in contact with my daughter for 20 years,
until last year.
Out of nowhere, I get a call from my daughter--
she wants her father back.
That to me has been the greatest gift that He's given
me back, is my daughter.
It's the best gift He's given me.
I know that Christ lives.
That He's the Savior of mankind.
So I believe that the greatest gift that I could give to Him,
is to seek and strive to follow Him.
The birth of the Savior means to me is that the world has a
chance to change.
The world has a chance to become what He intended it to
become from the beginning.
The world has a chance to accept His
love, and follow Him.