um folks uh this is fun we're having a
good time here tonight like i said we
have great guests here and
it's all gonna be a lot of fun but i
think we should just take a second here
and stop
everything get serious for just a moment
because i think frankly it's time
we look once again into the future
the future conan
that's right jack black let's all look
to the future all the way to the year
[Applause]
[Music]
2000
[Music]
the chicago cubs and boston red sox will
meet in the world series
up in the bleachers where they'll have a
great view of the yankees and braves
[Applause]
[Music]
the recording artist once named pink
will be called
beige when people realize that that's
the color you get when you mix her name
with the crap she records
thanks to advances in automation nike
shoes will be made by robots
unfortunately the robots will be made by
children in malaysia
[Music]
we will at last have definitive proof
that jesus is the son of god
when jesus borrows and wrecks god's
chevy cavalier
[Music]
a man with a bulge in his crotch will be
asked by his girlfriend
if he has a banana in his pocket or if
he's just happy to see her
in fact he will both be happy to see her
and have a banana in his pocket
from that point on men with bulges will
be asked
is that a banana in your pocket and or
are you happy to see me
i wanted to see if it made my cheeks
pink
shoehorns will stop helping feet slide
into shoes
and start trying to bang the shoes
[Applause]
themselves
ancient scrolls will reveal that noah
originally planned on bringing
three of each species on his ark not to
save them from the flood
but just to see if any animals were into
that kind of thing
[Applause]
[Music]
california governor gary coleman
releases all the inmates
from the state penitentiaries in order
to be reunited with the cast of
different strokes
[Applause]
anna nicole smith will team up with the
makers of altoids mint
to introduce their newest flavor winter
bacon
[Music]
the line between hasidic jews and the
amish will further blur when the amish
start performing
barn mitzvahs
[Music]
rumors that batman and robin are gay
will be confirmed
when they legally change their names to
top man and bottom
[Applause]
vars will serve a popular new drink
called jack black and coke
it will be two parts whiskey one part
coke
and three parts whoop ass bias
incredible more with jack black we'll be
right back