REGGIE, DID YOU DO ANYTHING FUN TODAY?
ANYTHING FUN?
>> Reggie: I LOOKED AT THE NEW MAC AIL ANNOUNCEMENTS.
>> James: OH, THE GLASSES.
>> Reggie: OH, NO, NOT YET.
THAT'S WAY DOWN THE ROAD.
THAT'S APPLE GLASS.
>> James: WHAT WERE THE NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS?
>> Reggie: IT WASN'T REALLY THAT SPECTACULAR.
THEY MADE THEIR OWN CHIP.
>> Reggie: CHIP.
SILICON.
>> James: WHAT DO YOU PUT THE CHIP IN.
>> Reggie: IN THE COMPUTERS.
>> James: WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A COMPUTER.
>> Reggie: YES.
>> James: A LAPTOP.
THEY'VE GOT A NEW LAPTOP OUT.
>> Reggie: YES.
NO ONE ELSE DESCRIBING THAT STORY WOULD DESCRIBE IT.
THEY WOULD GO, YEAH, GOT A NEW LAPTOP, IT'S FASTER.
>> Reggie: YEAH.
>> James: THAT IS A REASON TO CELEBRATE.
WE HAVE ANOTHER REASON TO CELEBRATE.
IT'S TIM'S BIRTHDAY TODAY.
>> Reggie: OH, THAT'S RIGHT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪
HOW DID I FORGET?
>> James: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TIM.
DON'T TELL ME I'M BEING PUNKED.
>> NO, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.
>> James: BUT I'M ASSUMING?
ONE BOUGHT YOU A FARM.
( LAUGHTER ) >> I VERY WELL COULD HAVE BOUGHT
THE FARM.
>> James: IT'S THE BIG 5-0, RIGHT?
>> IT FEELS GOOD.
ACTUALLY, I'M PROBABLY LESS STRESSED THAN I'VE EVER BEEN.
>> James: IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE?
YEAH, I'M GETTING USED TO NO MATTER WHERE I AM IN LIFE, I
CAN'T GET OUT OF ALL THIS.
( LAUGHTER ) SO I'M TRYING TO NOT STRUGGLE IN
THE FLY PAPER.
>> James: THERE WILL NOT BE A BETTER MESSAGE ON THE SHOW
TONIGHT.
THAT'S A LESSON FOR ALL OF US.
RELAX, YOU'RE TRAPPED IN IT, THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT
IT.
>> SO GOOD.
>> James: I LOVE THAT.
THAT SORT OF ANNOUNCEMENT SHOULD HAPPEN ON --
>> WOW, ALL THE NETWORKS!
>> James: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TIM.
WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
>> YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU AND YOU.
>> James: HE'S STUCK WITH HIM AND WE'RE STUCK WITH HIM AND I
COULDN'T BE HAPPIER ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW.
IT'S BEEN A JOLLY WEEK BECAUSE ELECTION DAY WAS EXACTLY ONE
WEEK AGO AND THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION, WITHOUT
ANY EVIDENCE, IS STILL CLAIMING THAT THE ENTIRE ELECTION WAS
STOLEN DUE TO VOTER FRAUD.
WHICH LED TO THIS AMAZING MOMENT YESTERDAY.
FOX NEWS ACTUALLY CUT AWAY FROM A LIVE STATEMENT FROM THE WHITE
HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY...
BECAUSE, WELL, SEE FOR YOURSELF.
>> AND WE WANT EVERY ILLEGAL VOTE.
>> WHOA, WHOA, WE HAVE TO BE VERY CLEAR, SHE'S CHARGING THE
OTHER SIDE IS WELCOMING FRAUD AND ILLEGAL VOTING.
UNLESS SHE HAS DETAILS TO BACK IT UP I CAN'T IN GOOD COUNT
NANCE CONTINUE TO SHOW YOU THIS --
>> JAMES: FOX NEWS JUST CUT OFF THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE FOR BEING
MISLEADING.
I GOT TO SAY, THE 2020 PLOT TWISTS JUST KEEP COMING.
NEIL SAID I CAN'T IN GOOD COUNT NANCE CONTINUE SHOWING YOU THIS.
IN RESPONSE, TRUMP SAID STOP THE COUNTENANCE.
JOE BIDEN WAS ASKED WHAT HE THOUGHT ABOUT TRUMP'S
UNWILLINGNESS TO CONCEDE.
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT TRUMP'S YET TO CONCEDE AND WHAT
THAT MIGHT MEAN FOR THE COUNTRY?
>> WELL, I JUST THINK IT'S AN EMBARRASSMENT.
I THINK THAT IT WILL NOT HELP THE PRESIDENT'S LEGACY.
>> James: OH, I THINK THE LEGACY TRAIN LEFT THE STATION A
LONG TIME AGO.
( LAUGHTER ) I UNDERSTAND JOE'S CONCERN, THE
ONLY THING WITHOUT A LEGACY THE ONLY THING TRUMP WILL PASS ON TO
HIS CHILDREN IS HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN DEBT.
BIDEN SAID TRUMP'S REFUSAL TO CONCEDE IS AN EMBARRASSMENT.
BUT THEN TRUMP WAS LIKE, "THIS IS AN EMBARRASSMENT?
DID YOU NOT SEE ME DO THIS?" ( PLAYING YMCA )
( LAUGHTER ) >> JAMES: MEANWHILE, THE TRUMP
FAMILY SEEMS TO BE HAVING A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING THAT THE
ELECTION IS OVER.
TODAY, ERIC TRUMP TWEETED THIS: "MINNESOTA GET OUT AND VOTE!"
I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, HE TWEETED THIS TODAY.
( LAUGHTER ) THE LINES ARE DEFINITELY
SHORTER.
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, BEFORE YOU JUDGE, YOU'VE
GOT TO GRADE THIS GUY ON A CURVE.
HE SPELLED "MINNESOTA" CORRECTLY AND THAT'S A HUGE WIN FOR HIM.
HE TOLD PEOPLE TO GO OUT AND VOTE TODAY.
THEN HE FOLLOWED THAT UP BY TWEETING, "GOOD LUCK TO THE
MIAMI HEAT!" AND THEN LATER ON, ERIC TWEETED
THIS, "GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT 'LA LA LAND,' HASHTAG BEST
PICTURE!" AND SECRETARY OF STATE MIKE
POMPEO ISN'T ACKNOWLEDGING JOE BIDEN'S VICTORY.
HE SAID THIS.
>> IS THE STATE DEPARTMENT CURRENTLY PREPARING TO ENGAGE
WITH THE BIDEN TEAM AND AT WHAT POINT DOES IT POSE A RISK TO
NATIONAL SECURITY.
>> THERE WILL BE A SMOOTH TRANSITION TO A SECOND TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION.
>> James: WELL THAT'S NOT REASSURING.
NOW, REPORTS HAVE SINCE SAID THAT HE WAS JOKING, AND I THINK
I SPEAK FOR ALL OF US WHEN I SAY, HA HA, THAT'S REALLY FUNNY.
( LAUGHTER ) ALL OF THIS HAS REAL
IMPLICATIONS.
BY REFUSING TO ACCEPT THE ELECTION RESULTS, TRUMP IS
ACTUALLY BLOCKING FUNDING FOR BIDEN'S TRANSITION.
THIS MONEY ENSURES A SMOOTH CHANGE-OVER BY LETTING THE NEXT
ADMINISTRATION HIRE AND DO BACKGROUND CHECKS ON STAFF.
TRUMP DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY BIDEN NEEDS TO DO THIS.
NOBODY IN HIS ADMINISTRATION WENT THROUGH ANY BACKGROUND
CHECKS.
AND ONLY A THIRD OF THEM ENDED UP IN JAIL.
( LAUGHTER ) EVEN MELANIA TRUMP IS BUCKING
TRADITION.
TYPICALLY, THE CURRENT AND FUTURE FIRST LADIES SIT TOGETHER
FOR TEA BEFORE THE CHANGE OF POWER.
BUT, SO FAR, MELANIA IS REFUSING TO OFFER A MEETING WITH DR. JILL
BIDEN.
I'M CHALKING THIS UP AS A WIN FOR DR. JILL BIDEN.
I REALLY AM.
THAT'D BE LIKE IF MY PERSONAL TRAINER REFUSED TO OFFER A
WORKOUT WITH ME.
I'D BE LIKE, "OH, I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT."
TOM, DID YOU KNOW THIS WAS A THING?
THAT FIRST LADIES HAVE TEA BEFORE THE CHANGE OF POWER?
>> Reggie: I DID NOT KNOW THIS WAS A THING.
ALL DAY AT WORK I PRETENDED I KNEW IT WAS A THING BUT I HAD
NEVER HEARD OF THIS IN MY LIFE.
>> James: WELCOME TO MY WORLD.
THAT'S ME MOST OF THE DAY.
>> I THINK IT'S A LOVELY TRADITION, THOUGH, I WILL SAY
THAT.
>> James: THAT'S VERY BRITISH, MEETING FOR TEA, ISN'T IT?
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT IT.
THAT'S MY WORLD IN THIS SHOW ALL THE TIME.
I HAD A 20 MINUTE MEETING WITH ROB TODAY ABOUT HOW TO SAY THE
WORD PUMA.
>> IT CLEARLY DIDN'T WORK.
>> James: I'M KEEPING MY FEET FIRMLY -- MY FEET ARE TAPED TO
THE BICYCLE ON THIS ONE.
>> WE SAY PUMA.
>> James: EXACTLY, BUT NO ONE GOES TO COLLEGE, WHAT ARE YOU
STUDYING?
SPANISH, ITALIAN AND AMERICAN.
( LAUGHTER ) >> NICE.
>> James: IT'S THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND I'M STANDING BY IT.
LET'S ASK LOUIE.
>> HE'S BRITISH AND HIS NAME IS LOUIS.
>> YOU DON'T SAY POOBIC, HAIR.
>> James: DO YOU SAY POOBS.
NO.
>> James: ARE YOU HAPPY THE WAY THIS TURNED OUT, ROB?
>> THIS IS GOING GREAT.
>> James: BLACK PUMAS.
PUMA, YEAH.
>> James: WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO ADD "PU" TO THEIR NAME.
>> JUST THE WAY YOU PRONOUNCE IT.
>> James: I SENT YOU A YouTube VIDEO ON THE
PRONUNCIATION OF THE WORD PEW-MA.
>> THE EXAMPLE IN THE VIDEO WAS A-DI-DAS.
>> James: THE GERMANS BROUGHT YOU AN AMAZING PRODUCT CALLED
ADEDI-DAS AND YOU SAID, NO I'M GOING TO CALL THEM ADIDAS.
AND THE GERMANS SAID THAT'S NOT THE WAY THEY'RE CALLED AND YOU
SAID, ( BLEEP ), THAT'S THE WA WE'RE GOING TO DO IT.
YOU BRING ME A CROISSANT AND I'LL MAKE A SANDWICH.
BUT VERY BRITISH THAT THE FIRST LADIES WOULD HAVE TEA.
>> AN HO IMAGINE TO THE ORIGINAL MOTHERLAND.
>> James:.
>> James: AS IT SHOULD BE.
MELANIA IS STUCK HERE.
SHE CAN'T REALLY OFFER THE MEETING IF HER
HUSBAND WON'T CONCEDE THE ELECTION.
ON THE OTHER HAND, HER HUSBAND IS INSANE AND SHE PROBABLY
SHOULDN'T HAVE MARRIED HIM.
MEANWHILE, IT WAS REPORTED LAST -- IF THIS HAS YOU FEELING LIKE
YOU NEED A VACATION, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE.
MIKE PENCE LEFT FOR A WEEK-LONG VACATION IN FLORIDA.
IF ANYONE NEEDS A VACATION NOW IT'S THE HEAD OF THE CORONAVIRUS
TASK FORCE.
( LAUGHTER ) THE VICE PRESIDENT INTENDS TO
CREEP OUT EVERYONE IN FLORIDA BY STARING AT THE OCEAN WITHOUT
BLINKING SEVEN DAYS.
HERE'S PENCE LEADING UP TO THE ELECTION.
AND HERE HE IS CHILLING OUT ON THE BEACH.
( LAUGHTER ) FINALLY, DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?
A MAN IN MINNESOTA HAS JUST SET A RECORD FOR THE WORLD'S TALLEST
MOHAWK.
IT STANDS AT FOUR FEET TALL.
HERE HE IS HERE.
THE MAN SPENDS MOST OF HIS TIME IN MINNESOTA.
UNLESS THERE'S A STRONG WIND, THEN HE ENDS UP IN NORTH DAKOTA.
( LAUGHTER ) HOW DOES HE FETE THROUGH
DOORWAYS?
MOHAWK, MO PROBLEMS.
( LAUGHTER ) HE HAS A FOUR-FOOT MOHAWK.
I KNOW A LOT OF GUYS LIE ABOUT THEIR HEIGHT ON THEIR TINDER
PROFILES BUT 9'7 IS A BIT MUCH.