it's scary and it might be the most stupid thing i've ever done if i'm gonna
be completely honest i have been dreading making this video for a really long time no
no i know for a fact it's probably the stupidest thing i've ever done
we don't
today we'll be discussing everything i've been putting off talking about for way too long
the future of my youtube channel italki why i'm not making videos about italki anymore why you
can't find my profile on italki um and why i'm going in a different direction now hi trashcan
let me get back inside and then we can we can get into this
all the time all the time
when i started my youtube channel um almost it was it's been over a year ago now i gave myself
two years i essentially told myself if i'm not making some amount of income off of youtube after
two years then i won't go so hard at it anymore and i would take a little bit of a step back still
do it as a hobby but now i've been doing it for a year and i have found myself at this like
crossroads is that too dramatic i've just found myself in this interesting position
where obviously i haven't blown up like i haven't gone like freaking viral like i'm not making like
insane amounts of money off of like the partner program or anything like that but the videos that
have done well for me i don't feel like they represent like who i am creatively or what
i want to do going forward on this platform and it's really difficult cause chances are
you found me through one of my italki videos or one of my french learning videos and
to be honest i made those because i knew that they would do well i saw that italki like the
whole niche of italki was pretty empty but i knew that i was looking things up on italki when i
first started and i i felt that that was a place that i could add to and with french like every
youtuber that i watch is like a french learner and i'm still learning french i still love french my
goal is still to be fluent taking it nice and slow because i'm i'm doing it for the long term but
i am just at this point where i'm like well [ __ ] where do i go from here i love making videos
so much nothing honestly nothing brings me like more joy like it just it makes me feel so
fulfilled creatively i just i could do this all day every day i do do this all day every day
but as many times if i as i've tried i can't sit down and make a video
just about italki again like i just can't do it but those are the videos who have gotten
me all my subscribers and anytime i post something that is not related to italki
y'all let me know how you feel and it really it feels strange to be in this position where i'm not
like successful on youtube but i already feel pigeonholed into this really specific niche and i
don't that's not how i operate i am very much the type of person who's like i'm gonna go with the
flow i'm gonna change things up every day like i am that type of person like you can not put me in
a box like i am totally that annoying ass person who's just like i you and you fit in anywhere
look so having my creative outlet be the thing that puts me in the box frustrating as hell italki
what happened pretty much literally every single day i get some sort of message email
dm comment asking oh my god my eye is twitching do you see that oh my eye has been twitching a
lot recently stress but i get something that's like hey i can't find your profile on italki or
are you still teaching on italki or how can you be my teacher on italki i want you to be my teacher
on italki or i want to talk to you about italki well i'm just like okay that's great like i'm
really happy that my videos have helped so many people and i'm honored that you
guys watch them and that you trust me and all of that everything i've ever said in an italki video
still stands however i had to shut down or i had to make my profile on italki private which i think
i talked about in my last italki video but i still get comments about it every day people
like i can't find you there's a reason for that and people are still finding me which is nuts i
still get dms and messages on there but my profile is private i am not taking new students i have
an incredible group of students who i work really well with but for a bit there it was becoming more
and more where people would book me just because i made youtube videos not because i was gonna be the
right teacher for them and first of all it felt really strange taking away students from more
deserving teachers who would be a better fit just because i made a youtube video so there was that
plus not being able to keep up with the lesson requests um and then not having
time for my regulars as well like having my entire schedule be booked up because
people wanted to book with me which was really exciting but then i wasn't able to like the
people who had been with me since before i was even making youtube videos they were just like
left in the dust so i wanted to make sure that i was prioritizing those people and another reason
after that is also people were looking up my profile like somewhat maliciously basically
like using it against me saying like you shouldn't listen to her because she has only completed this
many lessons and she isn't a professional teacher and it's like okay these are all things that i
um made very clear in my videos i never once said i was a professional teacher never once said i had
the most like i i've always been very upfront some for some reason people would still like
think that they got some some tea they'd be like i figured her out and it's like no
i mean i'm pretty sure i mentioned that at like this exact time stamp but
okay and the fact that italki is still my job i wanted to separate it from
youtube i also wanted to not make any more videos because i know the second i post a video about
italki it's gonna be my most viewed video like it's easy and i could so easily just bank off
of that for longer but it would just be reusing the same content over and over and over and over
and over again and saying the same things over again and i just don't want to beat a dead horse
just for views not my jam not how not how i it's not how i do things and same thing
with french like i have videos planned coming up that go along with french like within the next
month and a half i'll have at least one video up that pertains to french but like that's not my
whole life there's a very small portion of my life and through this whole moving process like it's
definitely gone on the back burner everyone who learns a language knows like [ __ ] goes on the
back burner sometimes totally fine so i guess the moral of this story is youtube and the algorithm
already are so annoying and so difficult to figure out and so often times frustrating
i don't also need to be putting myself in those boxes and i don't also need to be putting that
pressure on myself to keep doing the same types of content and to keep myself in some specific
niche that doesn't necessarily speak to me at that point in time and if that means i don't get
a ton of views and if that means i don't get subscribers and if that means that
i might have to push the two-year plan to a three or four year plan or five or six or seven or eight
like it doesn't matter but when it comes down to it i do this because i love it and i have a lot of
messages that i really really want to spread that i think go much deeper
and that are much more honest and vulnerable than just sharing my french anxiety or
um my annoyances with uh like tutoring and stuff like that i i just feel like i have
a lot more to offer over these last few months like i have been kind of stepping in the direction
that i want to go and i've been trying to find my voice and make videos that come from my heart
versus making videos specifically for like what i think the algorithm wants and it's been kind
of scary especially when i work really hard on something and then it gets like
no views at all like it's genuinely kind of heartbreaking but i've just been trying not to
care as much and pay attention as much and just focus any energy that i'd put on the algorithm
into creating and yeah so why am i making this video what's the point the point is that i'm going
all in
for real it's scary and it might be the most stupid thing i've ever done
no i know for a fact it's probably the stupidest thing i've ever done but
sometimes i don't know i i've just i've always taken the safe road in life and it's worked
but i also think that if you want to do great things you can't take the safe road so dramatic
i have i have a plan i have a very intensive plan of what i'm going to be up to over the next few
months and the types of content i'm going to be creating and i am so excited i am also terrified
um i will be uploading more often i will be filming pretty much all the time
non-stop it's gonna be a little nuts here for a bit but i couldn't be more excited um and i guess
this is just my invitation like if you want to join me on this journey of like barely having any
subscribers thank you for 3k though like that's a lot in my eyes i'm like wigging out over it like
it's so cool um but in comparison a lot of other people like i don't have like i'm not liking the
i'm not making mr beast type of money here um duh if the algorithm isn't willing to work for me
then i gotta just go ten times harder basically is what i'm thinking and
not be afraid to fail because i truly believe that if you do something and
you're passionate about it for long enough and you try for long enough and you try hard enough
and you put everything you have into something you can't fail because the only time you fail
is if you quit i'm not planning on quitting i'm planning on quitting being loyal to some
[ __ ] code pieces of code in the internet that decide whether or not my videos even show up in
the subscription feed or whatever and if you only follow me for my italki content
unsubscribe it is okay if you don't want my new videos popping up in your subscription feed if
you don't want them popping up on your homepage you don't have to click on them you don't have to
be subscribed to me you don't have to none of it you don't have to do any of it you owe
me nothing so yeah no hard feelings and i'm excited for this next chapter and i
it's gonna be cool it's gonna be it's gonna be really cool so i you can probably tell
i'm nervous but uh yes so if you're into all of this stuff subscribe follow along
like this video comment i hope you're doing well um yeah and i'll see you see you soon you