( upbeat music plays )
Hello, old friend.
We're back with Kunal Nayyar.
- How you doing, Kunal? - I'm doing very well.
- How are you doing? - Good, do you like conveyor belts?
Yeah, not particularly.
I love being this close to a conveyor belt.
I feel like anything can move at any moment.
- It's exciting. - Well, the conveyor belt could definitely move
because we're about to play...
Okay, the thing that we've observed
in legit interviews is that
usually there's, like, something that the interviewer
and interviewee can drink from.
- Rhett: Yeah. - Let's call that a cup.
- Yeah, let's call it a cup. - We have mugs at our desk.
Why should it be any different on a conveyor belt,
for this legit interview?
The only difference is, these cups
are gonna be conveyed in,
and there's gonna be a good cup,
another good cup, and a bad cup.
We don't know who's got the bad cup,
but as we're conducting this conversation,
- Mm-hmm. - and you-- I will ask a question, you will answer it,
and then we'll all drink from the cup.
And I don't know, see what happens, see who's got the bad thing.
Yes.
Link, you think we should bring the cups in?
- Let's convey them. - Convey them.
- Convey them. - ( whirring )
Oh, some drama involved in this.
Well, not really, it's kind of slow.
Oh, here it comes.
( humming )
( vocalizing)
Is that top speed?
That's all we've got?
All right, now, just with a click-- quick glance,
and a click glance, I can tell
that this just looks like coffee to me, so...
- Rhett: Yeah. - ...nothing to worry about.
- Okay. Sure. - Sure.
Or is there?
We did some homework, Kunal.
And in terms of who you follow on Twitter,
one of your accounts
is called, "We Rate Dogs."
So do you know you follow We Rate Dogs?
I do know now
who to fire who runs my Twitter account.
No, no, I'm joking.
I think the person who runs my Twitter account
really likes dogs.
She does, yes, she does.
Since they're not here, but you are, we're going to ask,
can you rate these dogs?
( gasps )
Which one do you think is better?
Kunal: That's an unfair question.
- Rhett: You've got to pick one. - Okay, I'm gonna go... 13 out of ten
and ten out of ten.
What, what?
Kunal: It's got a cone on it.
- But, that's cute. - It's sad.
It's sad. That's cute, look at the fancy hat.
- Link: Right. - Kunal, these are our dogs.
( laughter )
And you made a really good choice.
This is Jade and she is very cute.
Well, okay, but why did you take a picture
of... what's the name of the dog?
- Barbara. - Oh, Barbara, with a safety cone?
Because it's so cute.
It makes you feel sorry for her.
I was going for sympathy points.
I guess it's a matter of opinion, huh?
Oh, I guess I...
All right, we should drink.
- Okay. - Aren't you thirsty?
- Yeah. - Okay, on three, one, two, three.
( groans ) It was me that got the bad one.
- Mine's just coffee. - Yeah, mine's coffee.
You put salt in my coffee,
so much salt that I can't open my eyes.
Like, literally, I cannot get my eyes to open.
Convey it!
Convey it away, convey it in.
These look so harmless.
These look quite delicious, actually.
Yeah, I mean, somebody is gonna enjoy themselves.
One person is gonna get a bad whatever this smoothie is.
Okay, well, Kunal, we actually kept
looking at your Twitter, we spent a lot of time
looking at your Twitter.
- Thank you. - You also follow an account,
a user, LovesKunalNayyar.
- Kunal:
We all need a little ego boost, it's okay.
They've only tweeted once
in the past two years, so what did you do wrong?
I don't know.
Maybe I'm not as popular as I used to be.
That other kid on "Silicon Valley" has kind of taken over.
( laughter )
- There can only be one? - There can only be one.
Okay.
All right, guys.
All right, one, two, three, drink.
Oh, me again!
Mine's good.
What is that?
- This is delicious. - Mine's fruity and nice.
- What is it? - Woman: Link, it's a tomato slushie.
Ah!
I couldn't even identify it
as something that is consumable.
- This is just a slushie slushie. - This is yum.
Tomatoes. They would have liked tomato.
Sorry, Link.
Convey it!
Kunal: Oh, here it comes.
I have a bad feeling I'm gonna get a bad cup, right?
Because I haven't gotten one yet.
Neither have I, Link's gotten both of them.
But I think as a guest, I shouldn't get a bad cup, right?
- Of course, of course not. - Cool.
- Okay. - Now, your book is called "Yes, My Accent is Real."
- Mm-hmm. - Congratulations on the book.
Thank you very much.
I want you to give us an accent
and give us a "Big Bang Theory" classic Raj line,
but I want you to give us a different accent, like--
- Irish. - Irish, let's go Irish.
- Irish? - Yeah.
So, this is a classic Raj "Big Bang Theory" line.
Give us an Irish accent.
( snickers ) It's gonna be so bad.
- Sorry, all of Ireland for this. - It's a pre-apology.
( Irish accent ) "'Sorry' doesn't make up for the fact
that I had to cook chicken and rice with this vegan guy.
You know what vegan chicken and rice is?
It's rice."
Hey, just like in the Highlands.
Yeah.
What is that accent? What is that?
- That was great. - That was terrible.
It made me thirsty, though.
- Oh, God. - Boy, I'm so thirsty.
- Dink it. - Cheers, cheers, gentlemen.
Oh!
- Apple juice. - Yup, I've got apple juice.
I didn't even get to the liquid, there's...
Is that spray paint?
Are you trying to poison me?
- What is it? - Woman: It's bitter apple.
Bitter apple?
I think that's what keeps cats from peeing on stuff.
It's horrible.
That was the bad cup.
- Convey it away! - All right, this is it.
This is it, I have to get this bad cup.
Okay, Kunal, your Instagram page
is filled with fantastic selfies like this one.
- Kunal: Yeah. - Link: Whoa.
( Kunal laughs )
Can you please explain everything
that is happening in this
and also finish the poem that you started?
Kunal:
they flat-iron my hair to make it straight.
- How long does that take? - It takes about 35 minutes.
When I come home every night,
my hair is basically glued together,
so I can do funny things with it, like that.
And then there's this painting of a sad pug
that I picked up at a flea market
that's been in my bathroom for six years,
and my wife hates it, so it's in the bathroom,
and I don't know why it's there,
but it's always looking sad
and that's why it's the most anticlimactic story
you're ever gonna hear in your life.
It's just in the bathroom.
- #Poetry, though, - Yeah, yeah.
because you thought it sounded poetic?
No, I was just trying to be self-deprecating,
'cause you know, if you post anything of meaning,
the internet hates you.
Right, that's why we do this show.
Yes, exactly.
Okay. Oh, I know what this is gonna be.
This looks pink.
Cheers, everybody.
- Like Pepto or something. - Kunal: Oh, what the...?
Oh, what the, I don't even need to drink it,
it's like glue.
Your hand-- they tried to glue your hand.
You know what's funny? This is pink,
I thought it was gonna be Pepto-Bismol.
- No. - That's the drink of my people.
It's actually very nice.
Yes, that's actually delicious.
Okay, cool, now I have to wash my hands.
- Link: You're welcome. - Convey away!
- Is it nice? - Kunal: It's not bad.
Okay, rumor has it that you can recite
Bart Simpson's entire "Deep, Deep Trouble" rap
from "The Simpsons."
It is true.
Will you please perform some of it for us?
Until we tell you to stop,
- 'cause it's pretty long. - Yeah, sure.
It's pretty long. Let me see.
♪ Let me start at the start ♪
♪ Then take it away ♪
♪ My name is Simpson, Bartholomew J. ♪
♪ That's Bart with an "art" and a capital B ♪
♪ Then "Sim" plus "son," that's me ♪
♪ Introductions aside, let's move it along ♪
♪ Can all sing along with the sound of the gong ♪
♪ Once upon a time about a week ago ♪
♪ All of a sudden, troubles started to grow ♪
( quieter ) ♪ Alarm was buzzing... ♪
( normal ) ♪ Supposed to get up now, but I was refusing ♪
I could go on.
- Okay, stop, that was great. - Nice, nice.
Oh, yeah, you know what? That deserves a little toast.
- Here we go. - Thank you.
Whoo, that is nice.
Cheers.
- Mmm. - Mmm.
- Link: Oh, Chocolaty. - Kunal: Chocolate milk.
Oh, gosh.
No.
Is that dog food?
Woman: That's a Happy Meal milkshake.
Oh, gosh.
- Oh. - Oh, it's got a whole Happy Meal in it?
- Woman: Correct. - Yeah, and I can taste every bit of it,
including the toy.
That sounds delicious.
- It's not. - Link: Mmm!
It doesn't really work in this form.
Thanks, Kunal, for hanging out with us.
Yes, and thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing.
You say, "You know what time is."
You know what time it is. That's disgusting!
I'm William from Arden Hills, Minnesota.
And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- Careful, buddy. - Ninja!
Click the bottom link to watch this episode from the beginning.
And click the top link to watch us face off
with John and Jen in the extreme cup stacking challenge
in "Good Mythical More."
And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality
is going to land.