hey everybody it's finally Friday
forget the working blues and let the
good times roll roll that's right
I looked up more lyrics because my
little ditty was getting kind of old to
me so spice it up right learn more
lyrics anyways today Katy mourn calm
when it's Friday that means that I'm on
Facebook so if you asked your questions
using the hashtag Katy FAQ and tried to
keep them short because sometimes I know
Facebook has no limitations and it's
hard for me to read you know like 12
paragraphs of information in order to
answer a question because I just don't
have that kind of time anymore
too many questions so I have for
questions today as well as a journal
topic and if any of you didn't know I am
taking vacation so I'm leaving for
Montreal on Sunday and I won't be back
until the 29th don't worry my Monday
videos will come out as always but my fa
Q's will not I won't be doing any fa Q's
next weeks due to Christmas because I
celebrate Christmas so you can save your
questions until the following week but I
will do a video from Montreal in the
freezing winter coldness okay
I'll be dressed up like Nanook of the
north because it is that cool okay
question number one hey Kati my question
is is there something wrong with me
I just can't cry I can be talking to my
college counselor about all of my past
and current abuse and I'll get really
upset but I just can't cry I can go into
details about suicidal thoughts plans
and my self-harm and there's just
nothing I don't feel anything is this
normal thank you I really enjoy your
videos they help a lot um it can be
normal there are various reasons why
this can be happening number one it can
be detachment what we call like
emotionally detaching where we're
overwhelmed often it's when we're just
really overwhelmed we don't have any way
to deal with what's going on in our life
and we're just like oh my gosh I can't
even imagine dealing with this and so we
just like put it out of our minds it's
not necessarily a healthy coping skill
but it's definitely something that we do
without even knowing we're doing it like
I even notice if I am in a I guess in a
personal relationship and
one is just being unreasonable they're
getting really angry and they don't I
don't really know how to make it better
I do this I will find myself doing this
because I'm like I can't get upset about
it because there's no way I don't even
know how to fix it I didn't do anything
wrong or whatever and I'll just like
emotionally detach and say things like
I'm sorry that you feel that way or you
know because I don't know what to say or
do and it's very common another reason
that we can be emotionally detached and
just can't cry is if we're on
antidepressants I've had a lot of
clients report that to me now I don't
I'm not a physician I don't prescribe
medication but I have a lot of patients
who will say you know ever since I've
been on whatever medication it is I just
feel like I can get emotional I'm
watching a sad movie and I feel good to
cry and I can't cry so if that's the
case I would talk to your doctor and
I'll let them know and they'll see what
they can do okay
question number two hey Kati my question
is when should I consider seeing a new
therapist I have been seeing my
therapist about four and a half years we
have a really good therapeutic
relationship and she's helped me with
some of my smaller issues but I feel
like we haven't tackled my bigger ones
I still have social anxiety so opening
up to people is really difficult for me
PS I love your videos well thank you
so this is a little tricky um because
just taking the question when should I
consider seeing a new therapist my
automatic response is like when you feel
like they're not they're no longer
helpful for you and some of my clients
even if they've been seeing me for ever
and ever I'm like uh I have one client I
think I'm in particular where she was
going away to college I'm like well
it'll be really good for you to see
someone else and get another perspective
because we're people to write as a
therapist I have my own beliefs and
thoughts and I try to keep e is you know
even keeled and non-judgmental and not
imposing my beliefs on anybody as I can
but I still have a certain way I do
therapy right and everybody's different
so I think it's good to mix it up and if
you feel like you're not really tackling
those big things I would first bring it
up to your therapist and say you know I
know we've done a lot of work and I feel
like I'm getting somewhere but I'd
really like to work on this this this or
whatever your things are and see what
they say if they're if they say you know
something that you don't feel is right
and then it's moving
the right direction for you then I would
say is there anybody who could refer me
to I know we've been seeing her there
for a long time and I love seeing you
but I'm just looking to mix up because I
really need to be pushed to make these
changes and as a therapist we completely
understand I know many of you it's
really hard for you to speak up to your
therapist but we're there to help and if
we're not helping maybe someone else
will right okay
question number three hey Kati I asked
this one on tumblr sorry I was non
tumblr this week I get really
uncomfortable with skin-to-skin contact
with other people I even get
uncomfortable when people are next to me
and I can feel their body heat I just
hate it sometimes it gives even gives me
a panic attacks what could this be
could this have to do with my past
sexual abuse it definitely can something
that many of us aren't aware of as if
we've been sexually abused especially if
it was repeated but I've even had
clients if it's they had one traumatic
experience
there will be sensations using our five
senses that we will remember and those
sensations are really triggering and it
can be something like skin-to-skin
contact or a sound or a smell and it can
either cause a flashback it can send us
into panic attacks it can make our
eating disorder or self-harm
urges like go through the roof so I
think taking time first of all bringing
this up to your therapist and if you're
not seeing a therapist I would encourage
you to see one and starting to work on
this because this will go away this is
kind of a PTSD like response you're
you're having a similar I would assume
this is reminding you of something the
trip the trauma that happened and so
it's sending you into overdrive and
you're like wow you can't handle it
because you're not expecting it right so
I would encourage you to either see a
therapist or bring this up with your
current therapist and start working
through it and it will go away
okay um question number four I can't
seem to let go of my ex-girlfriend and
that makes me really sad
I mean I broke up with her after three
and a half years in April and I still
love her so much
she's displaying her new relationship
very publicly and that hurts me so much
that I threw away three months of being
self-harm free I don't want to give her
that power over me anymore what can I do
now this is hard and to be honest
you were with her for three and a half
years and I usually tell my clients to
give yourself about half of the time you
were together to really grieve the loss
whatever that means for you for some
people it means moving on quickly some
people do that like because that takes
their mind off of the old person it puts
on a new but I find that that doesn't
actually help what helps is spending
time with people who are loving and
caring to you like your friends your
family spending time with them also you
can take time for yourself remember you
which will lead me into my journal topic
I'll talk about just a second but we
have to take time to heal ourselves we
need to take time to journal we need to
take time to enjoy the reasons that we
love that person and that we were in
that relationship for so long and then
acknowledge the reasons that we broke up
often times when we're not in the
relationship and it's distance from us
we forget all those terrible things like
oh yeah she was a big [ __ ] and
remember that time she lied to me and
then we used to fight all the time and
bicker because of this that and the
other it can sometimes help I know this
sounds bad but to remind you of all the
bad things about them that you didn't
like and give yourself time I know that
her displaying publicly is making it
hard but maybe we should take a social
media break or unfollow her or if you
find yourself having the urges to check
her facebook or whatever you know get
off have a the way you do self-harm or
just fight back against that desire to
get on because that's the worse nobody
wants to see that and she's probably
doing it out of kind of revenge since
you broke up with her so give yourself
time to grieve you can even read a read
you can even watch my grief and grieving
video maybe that'll help a little bit
too because I know it's really hard but
give yourself time maybe take a break
from social media and start working on
you okay now that's a nice segue into my
journal topic for today which is do you
put as much energy on into your
relationship with yourself as you do in
your other relationships sometimes we
have to be reminded right because we
spend so much energy especially around
Christmas getting gifts for them and
spending time with them and making time
for everybody to tell them we love them
have you told yourself you loved you
have you been kind to yourself have you
gotten yourself a gift doesn't have to
be
than you purchase but I mean I didn't
make any plans tonight and I'm just
going to watch my favorite TV show I'm
going to order takeout and I'm just
going to relax um where my my pj pants
i'm never going to get out of them all
day long not going to do my hair
whatever it is build your relationship
with yourself because at the end of the
day that's the most important
relationship we have that one with
ourselves that authenticity we feel from
being us and being real and however
weird or crazy we think we are we're
amazing just as we are and so I want you
to take some time especially since I
won't be online for a while because I'll
be taking time building my relationship
with myself and with my my new family
so just take some time whatever that
means for you and feel free to share
I'll be on Instagram I'll post some
photos so if you want to see what I'm up
to in montreal make sure you follow me
katimorton1 and I will see you all well
my videos are come out on Monday but
I'll be back on the 30th okay I love you
all happy holidays and I'll see you
before the new year
okay bye