The reason why you want to do warm ups...
and when I say warm ups, I mean, when you're going out and you're approaching women,
you want to have a few warm ups. It's like working out. When you're working out, sometimes... most
times, or you should, be doing warm ups. Let's say you're about to squat, and you're about to squat
your record, your PR, which is 150 pounds for example. Well you don't want to start with 150
pounds. You want to maybe start with just the bar, which is 45 pounds. You do a few reps of that and
you keep adding and adding so your muscles get warmed up. I don't know if you've ever
worked out before. But, it's interesting how when you do one of your first sets,
it's really hard. But for whatever reason, sometimes the second set or the third set,
it's a little bit easier. Which is funny, you're doing the same exact weight.
But it gets a little bit easier because you're warmed up. Your muscles are warmed up, they're
ready to go. This is a great analogy and it works the exact same with talking to women and getting
over your nervousness. What happens is going from zero to one, that first approach, that's really
tough, that's really scary. We have to knock that out of the way. And the best way to do that is by
doing a silly dumb approach, something that you'll never use as an actual pickup line. But something
that you will just want to say to get over the hump and go and do an approach. That could be
anything. The one that I gave you is something simple, going up to a woman and you're going
to be direct with it and that's because it's a little bit harder, which gets you more warmed up,
and the direct one is... "hey, I just want to say you look nice today, have a nice day " and
then you walk away. Again, it's silly, it's not a pickup line. It's not something that you'll ever
use. Unless you want to, I don't think it's a great idea. But it's not something you'll ever use
to continue the conversation. But it gets you warmed up. Because once you do that first one,
it just kind of knocks it out of the way and you start to become less nervous. The
most nervous you'll ever be is when? That first moment. When you go out your door and you want
to do the first approach. That's the most nervous moment. What I say is, you don't want to do just
one. You want to do anywhere from one to two to three, maybe even four, just to get them out of
the way. You don't even have to do it to women who are attractive. As long as they're over 18
of course. You just do it and you say, "hey, you look nice today, have a nice day" and walk away.
They're just gonna be like, "that's nice" and whatever. But you're going to get more and more
warmed up so by the time you're warmed up, now the nervousness is going to just start deteriorate.
You're still going to be nervous. It's not like you're good to go. But I guarantee you, you're
going to be 50 to 75% less nervous after you do 3 to 5 warmups. Because you're warmed up, you're
used to it, you know what's going on, now you can do a real approach. Or you go up, you can maybe
do a situational opener if it occurs. Comment on something or at the very least just say, "hey,
two seconds, I wanted to come meet you." And then that's your line and then boom, you're going into
a real approach. And what happens too is that acts as a warm up also. Maybe you're flustered,
maybe it doesn't come out right away, you're still nervous, your hands are really sweaty, whatever.
But then that's going to even warm you up even more. Imagine in one session, if you can
bear through and get through 3 to 5 warm ups and then 2 to 3 of those normal approaches,
imagine where you'll be at the fourth and fifth approach. Yeah, maybe a little bit tired.
And a little bit like, "that was a lot, that was intense." But you're gonna feel drastically
different. Your mindset. That's what we started this conversation about, mindset. Your mindset is
going to be completely 180 from that one moment where you were almost about to give up because
a lot of guys... and you had this too, is you gave up. You went out and the fear was overwhelming and
it was too much so you gave up. You stopped. What I'm saying is, in order to get the mindset to 180,
you have to act. It's not something you can think your way out of. Action is the most important step
here and it precedes everything. The rejection... that is not something to be scared of. There is
another thing to fear way more than rejection. What you need to be scared of is not doing the
approach. The pain of not doing the approach is far greater than what may happen in a rejection.
Every guy I've worked with, even in really bad rejections, they're still so glad that they did
it because they accomplished it. You're thinking outcome is rejection, outcome is rejection,
outcome is rejection. The outcome you need to be thinking of is the actual approach in itself.
You know what, you go to the gym, and maybe you don't do a PR a personal record that day.
And you're like "damn it, I really wanted to beat 150 pounds on my squat.
And I didn't do it." Well, you know what? You showed up that day. And guess what would have
happened if you didn't show up that day. The next time you were to squat, it would be even harder.
And it messes you up even more. What I'm saying here is show up. Show up and do it.
And it all works itself out. Because the more that you do the approaches, doesn't matter how many
rejections you get, these are all opportunities to get better at talking to women. These are all
opportunities that you can take to start looking at the approaches and going okay, what can I
do better? What did I do wrong? What can I say here that's going to make this more interesting?
What can I do to continue conversation? If you don't have any approaches to look at,
then there's no way to grow. This is not about getting rejected or not rejected. This is about
getting better at the actual process. If you go out and you do 15 approaches, let's just say,
and you get rejected by all of them and you come back to me and you're saying, "oh man,
I can't believe I got rejected. I feel like shit. My self-esteem is down. This is terrible.
I'm a crappy person." If you get rejected that many times and you have those thoughts,
we'll tackle that then. But I have a hunch that if you go out and do 15 approaches and you get
15 rejections, you're not going to feel as bad as you think you're going to feel.
I also think in 15 approaches, you'll have a couple of positive interactions.
I doubt that every single woman is going to look at you in the face, like you were a monster
and yell "get the hell out of here." Our minds are our worst enemies. They are so clever and
so amazing at coming up with what can go wrong. And we're always focused on what can go wrong.