Oi!
How the hell did you get in here?
Well anyway, now you're here.
Welcome to my luxury seven star hotel
lawn beach swimming pool resort.
I'm chillin', having a cocktail.
It's not orange squash, it's a real cocktail,
and I'm probably about to enjoy a dip
in my luxury Olympic swimming pool in a minute.
So, all this high-end stuff taken in mind,
we're gonna give you our top speedy tips
to get beach ready and summer sexy for 2017.
So, what I mean by that is we're gonna show you
all the secret ways which you can
look cool and look better for the beach,
be they clothes, style, or body tips.
Alright guys, tip one:
Okay, gents, so our first tip is get
the right pair of shorts.
Alright, I'm gonna show you how to do that here.
Most guys are on the beach, right,
they're worried about their belly,
they haven't been hitting the gym enough,
and especially their midriff, right?
So, their love handles, this area, and the way
they're gonna look from behind on their love handles.
I'm sure a lot of you at home
are like, yes, that's me already.
Everybody does worry about this
unless they're super skinny or super gym'd out.
If you're an average bloke, the shorts
you choose are going to totally
enhance and accentuate that chubby area
around your belly and your side arms,
your love handles, alright, or you could totally
slim that down with the right pair of shorts.
To get the right pair of shorts, the most important
element is the way they fasten up.
Not many people know this, alright.
So it's this thing here.
So these are the best kind of shorts.
The fastening on these ones are ideal
is what I mean by that, alright?
So let's have a look why, right?
What it's got, it's got two strings in this area.
So these, when you do them up and you
put them on, are not elasticated.
You tie this up to the level at which
you feel comfortable in.
They're not gonna be tight and they're not gonna
cut into the fat around your side or your front.
There is no elastic, the string simply
ties up where you do it up, right?
So it's gonna sit and rest perfectly on your waistline.
As it's resting perfectly, you don't wanna
have it too loose, cuz then it will
fall down and you'll be cock-naked on the beach,
and that's never a good look, alright?
But what it means is that they're
gonna rest nicely on your sides,
they're not gonna dig in and the elastic's
not gonna cut in around here and cause
an overflow of flubber coming over
the sides of your shorts here, alright?
So, an example of a pair of shorts
which will do that horribly are these ones, alright?
These are elasticated...boing boing boing, alright?
These are not elasticated, no boing,
no boing, no boing, alright?
These do up nicely here with the lace.
The tightness is kept here, whereas
these are tight all the way around
the shorts and these are guaranteed
to make the fat spill over the sides
and accentuate those love handles
which are most definitely the worst
elements for any normal guy on the beach, his love handles.
So, avoid elasticated shorts and go
for these kind of surfer-y numbers
with the crossed over laced up bit.
You'll see exactly what I mean when you try them on.
They're gonna be a lot less tight round the waist.
They're gonna look a lot more flattering, alright?
These shorts again are also a really good pair
because the color is also the ideal kinda color.
Black, it's not even a color, right?
Black makes you look slimmer, right?
It doesn't accentuate fat, it's gonna make
your bum look smaller and it's less out there.
No one's gonna be staring at you
if you're wearing these shorts.
If you're not 100 percent body confident,
they're nondescript, you can use other elements
of your look and of your beach style to get attention.
It's not gonna be all about your body.
Guys who've been working out all year
who are super ripped wanna wear
really loud bright shorts, okay, go for it,
because you've been working out all year.
If you're a normal guy, go for a plain
black pair without the elasticated fastening.
Go for the laced up number like this, alright?
Again, these shorts are particularly terrible,
right, because they have this kind of cream color.
This is going to mean that your blubbery side
and your fat old belly are gonna blend into these shorts.
You're gonna look like some kind of
big Jabba-the-Hutt beach monster.
So these shorts are a big no-no.
Don't go for light peach colors.
Pinks, light yellows, right?
Pastel colors also make pale skin look a lot paler.
So again, whereas a bronzed Brazilian god
could get away with these, your
average pale pasty white English
slash American slash European dude can't, alright?.
So stay away from pastel colors, stay away from elastics.
We've got a couple more pairs of shorts here, alright?
So these (raspberries), alright?
These, hell yeah.
We got a pair by Ralph Lauren here, super expensive.
Alright, the fastening is actually good on these ones.
We've got that same sort of crossed-over rope system.
But the pattern, not only is it pastel, right,
it's gonna make you look really pale.
It's gonna generate far too much attention, right?
You're gonna be defined by your
kind of tropical shorts, and unless
you're a joker, you're really confident, you've got
a great body, you don't want that much attention, alright?
Go for the more low-key number every time, right?
Again, more crappy shorts, alright?
Too patterned, despite they're a bit better, they're darker.
They're elasticated, and they've got a rubbish pattern.
Get rid of them as well.
Finally, another wild pattern.
These are all really typical shorts.
They're all available right now, right?
We're not gonna tell you where, since you shouldn't get 'em.
But, again, these ones are rubbish, yeah?
Too much color, too much attention coming there.
Style on the beach doesn't mean
that you suddenly become Hawaiian
and you wanna chuck color at absolutely everything.
We're gonna come in to wearing shirts
like this on the beach in a minute.
That's what you're gonna do to use color.
But for your shorts, right, which are constantly
drawing attention to your body,
you wanna be quite low-key and go
for a plain black pair, alright?
So all the props I'm using today are from H&M,
and these bad boys cost us £18 from H&M, right?
They're available now, so if you like them, go cop them.
Go get them, cuz they're gonna be
the perfect shorts for you.
Remember, low-key colors, rope fastening.
Alright, the final tip for shorts
is don't go for a really long board short
coming right down below your knees.
It's gonna make your legs look chunky
and plus the style is gone.
These shorts, right, like they should do
come down to sort of your mid-thigh level
where you can see a bit of flesh above your knee.
Even if you're a chubbier guy,
a chunkier guy, that's gonna make
your legs look slimmer, right, and it's gonna
accentuate the good elements of your physique, okay.
So you want them to be slightly above knee level.
About that much above knee level but not too high.
We don't wanna see anybody wearing
Speedos, alright, you got that?
And definitely nobody wearing those
little tiny Brazilian pant-things which sort of
are hugging areas I don't want to see.
Nobody wants to see your balls, all tight in 3D.
If you're doing that, sort your life out.
No one wants to see that, not even girls.
You're not even gonna pull, you're just
gonna have loads of people looking at you
thinking, ew, rank, you're a weirdo.
Alright, so there we have it, gents.
That is our first tip and it was to get the right shorts.
Great example being right here, alright?
Tip number two coming up.
Okay guys, so our tip number two
to look beach sexy and summer ready
is to get your pre-tan game on, alright?
By that I mean to get a tan before
you even go on a holiday, okay?
Everybody who knows how to look sexy
on the beach does it, right?
The most important element of your tanning
is to be tan before you even leave.
What you're gonna be doing is going
on a sunbed for ten minutes every few days
for a week or ten days before you go away, right?
It's gonna give you a nice gradual
top-up tan effect, and it's gonna mean
when you get on holiday, you're not gonna be
super pale, and you're not gonna burn
and look like some ridiculous English
football hooligan whose got massive
red marks and blotches all over them.
Makes you stick out like a sore thumb,
and trust me, you ain't pulling in those
holiday clubs if you're red as a lobster.
I've been there, I've done it, I'm English.
Alright, so get your pre-tan game on.
Have a little sun bed before you go away.
Another really good tip is one product
which we like to use called St. Tropez
gradual tan moisturizer, okay?
We're gonna flash up a picture of that now.
This stuff is a moisturizer a bit of a hint
of brown and it also helps to enhance
your real tan when you're on the beach.
So try this stuff, it's gonna give you
a gradual tan, and that's a great one for all year round.
Keeps you looking really healthy and sun-kissed
without being really obvious and orange, alright?
You don't wanna look like you're a member
of the cast of Geordie Shore, or Jersey Shore, right?
You really wanna have a nice natural tan
and this moisturizer isn't fake tan.
It's got a bit of an element there
which is gonna give you that gradual,
as the tin says, gradual top-up effect.
So use that every few days for two weeks
before your holiday as well, and that's
going to help enhance that natural-looking tan.
Alright, so check out that St. Tropez cream as well.
That's tip number two, get your tan game on!
Okay gentlemen, so our tip number three
is to get your general beach style on point,
okay, so it's general beach style.
Yep, shorts are gonna be the main element
because you're gonna whipping all that
stuff off and revealing the abs,
or lack of abs, depending on who you are,
but your general beach look adds
a lot of an element to that, yeah?
And if you're gonna meet somebody
at the beach, you wanna turn up looking good.
You wanna be looking good when you go to get drinks
or in the cafe, and of course, if it gets a bit chilly,
you might wack on your shirt or whatever you're doing.
So we're gonna show you two looks.
One is gonna be our more sort of classic
high-end more mature look, and two,
we're gonna go for an urban beach style.
So here's our first look.
And this is our classic beach look,
so let's take you through it, alright?
Everything I'm wearing is from H&M
and available at any H&M shop worldwide right now.
So it's not only cheap, it's readily available
for anybody overseas, seeing as we're in England, okay?
First thing is our hat, alright?
We're gonna telling you how much
this costs in a minute, flashed up.
Okay, it's a really nice beach hat.
It's got a cool element to it.
You don't wanna be wearing a baseball cap
if you're wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
It totally wrecks the look.
So then we've got our glasses, also by H&M.
And we're gonna show you a couple of other frames
which will also work, but I really like these ones.
Then we're gonna wear an oversized
kinda flowery Hawaiian-style shirt.
Notice this old-school casual collar.
The pattern goes a bit of white from the hat
and we're gonna roll the sleeves up
cuz it's boiling and you're gettin' the sun out.
Underneath you're gonna have some plain brown beads.
These aren't from H&M, these are actually my own.
You can find brown beads anywhere.
You can wear them with your top open
and look really summer-y, really cool.
Then we've got the shorts we mentioned in tip one.
Notice how these shorts are at the length I said they are.
They're not down here, they're up here,
the plain black shorts.
And we're gonna do down to the shoes.
Your beach shoes are super important,
and we have espadrilles, or a leather sandal.
Alright, cool, these two are both
readily available at H&M as I said,
and also we're gonna flash up a pair of Havaianas
as well because you can't write off
the old flip flops, alright?
So, that is our first beach style.
Alright, hope you like it, and it's a more
mature classic style, right?
For the younger guys out there who want
to look at bit urban, we're gonna
get changed now and show you that as well.
Okay gentlemen, so here was our second look.
This is our slightly younger and let's say
urban street wear beach style, street beach style.
Does that make any sense?
Who cares, it looks good.
Alright, so second one, check it out.
Okay, alright let's start from the top then.
Alright, as I said, everything,
well, nearly everything is available from H&M.
The sunglasses are actually Ray Bans.
They're Wayfarers, that is the name of the frame,
but you can get a cheap imitation from H&M for about £8.
These will retail about about £220
just for that little bit of branding.
So get a cheap imitation, the style is cool.
Then we've got the little sun hat,
flashing up the price onscreen now, also from H&M.
We're gonna come down to the vest.
We're gonna replace that Hawaiian-style shirt with a vest.
We don't want something skin tight.
You're on the beach, just chilled out, right?
If you're gonna try to show off your body,
your arms do the showing off for you,
or take it off and show off your body underneath.
This is just to look cool and chilled out on the beach.
So this is also from H&M, note how it's
got these kind of unfinished arms.
It's not skintight, it's very baggy,
and it's also coming down to a low line length
with the little cuts here to make it
nice and urban and hip-hop.
On top of the vest I've got just
a tiny silver chain accessory.
It's all I need.
You're gonna wear silver with this look
cuz it's an urban look, it's a street wear look.
And we don't want a big long bling.
Just this it's my silver chain,
I wear it all the time, and it
looks great with this beach look.
Then we've got another pair of shorts by H&M.
These have got this kind of shell suit material.
It's in line with the urban style more,
and again, they're the perfect length, coming up just above
my knees, well, not just above, a little bit above my knees,
and the maroon again is a nice dark color, alright,
which goes well with the black combination.
It's also gonna make you look nice and slim,
whereas a bright red or a light red won't.
Finally, we have the shoes.
These are Nike slides, they're sliders.
Alright, so these are the slides by Nike.
Okay, these aren't from H&M, you can
get something similar, but you really
wanna have a bit of branding on here.
So, if you're a rapper and you're blinging,
you can be wearing Gucci or Versace.
If you're a normal dude, just get in the plain Nike slides.
We got these from Foot Asylum,
and the retail price is shown now as well.
But you could just as easily get a pair of Nike,
a pair of Adidas, whatever you wanna go with, in that style.
Finally, I'm just gonna ask my camera man to hand me his hat
because we forgot to switch hats.
You don't have to wear the sun hat.
If that's too much for you, you can wear
no hat at all of course, or you can go
for just the plain classic snapback,
strap-back even, it's gonna look
pretty cool with this look as well.
And then I am street beach ready with my style.
Everything available from H&M,
apart from the shoes and the glasses.
Alright, so look number two.
Okay gentlemen, so our fifth and final tip
on how to look good, get beach ready and summer sexy
is your beach accessories, alright?
So we've been through the hat, the shoes,
the whole general style, right, but there
are two things that everyone's gonna be
bring with them as well, right,
which are really gonna determine
to make you look like you're a beach aficionado
or a beach loser.
You don't wanna be a beach loser, okay?
That is gonna be your beach bag, okay?
I don't wanna see any crusty old training bags,
Nike rucksacks, rubbishy shitty old thing, right?
You're either gonna bring with you
a nice cool Nike drawstring bag
or a sort of drawstring little urban bag
to put your beach bits in, flashed up now,
or you're gonna go for a really cool
leather kind of man bag, over-shoulder satchel thing, right?
So, the leather bag is obviously gonna
go better with the more classic look,
and the more urban look is gonna work
perfectly with the drawstring bag, alright?
So your bag is also very important, alright?
We're also gonna flash up a few frames
of sunglasses we think are cool.
So, we have already the first pair we looked at.
Don't know the names of them,
but they're from H&M, flashed up now.
We're also gonna flash up, the Ray Ban
Wayfarers, mentioned as well.
And finally, a pair of aviators
cuz we've not mentioned them in this video.
Those can be the perfect accessories for your beach look.
And the last, and one which people
always overlook is gonna be, you're on the beach,
you're gonna be lying down, your towel, okay?
You don't wanna be that guy who brings
a tiny white towel he's stolen from his hotel, alright?
You don't even wanna be that guy
who's got a beach towel from home,
or a bathing towel from home.
Get yourself a nice big kinda sarong blanket thing.
We're gonna flash one up now.
It's gonna be much bigger, you're not
gonna be rolling around covered in sand.
You can have all your bits laid out around you.
Other people can sit on it, you can socialize.
You can have a nice drink like I am
right now in my beach club, right?
So get yourself a kinda blanket, sarong,
beach towel, rug, mat, thing, alright?
Flashed up now.
So that was it, gentlemen, that was our
five tips, most effective tips, to help
you become effectively and quickly
summer sexy and beach ready.
Hope you enjoyed the video, please subscribe.
Give us a like, leave a comment.
It's beach time, it's 2017, it's summer.
Get out there, look good.
It's Make Me That Guy, check out
the website, www.makemethatguy.com.
Peace!