So thought types are these ways of thinking
that can set us up for more stress, for more anxiety.
So here's the thing, if you know what your thought type is
you can use these ways, these practical tips from the book
to manage them so that you can actually
train your brain in a way to be happier.
Where are my A's?
Okay.
I would say that's about a third.
Yes, so you about a third
of the audience. are my pessimists.
You are my worriers.
Does that sound right?
So you're a worrier, Chitra. Yes.
So this is my mom's thought type.
Mmm hmm. You know,
she's the kind of type that says,
"oh my gosh, what if there's an accident?
"We should really allow four hours to get to the airport."
Even when it takes 20 minutes.
Oh, I'm not that type of worrier.
Does that relate to some of you?
I'm a list maker. Oh yes.
You know, 'cause I like to be prepared.
Yes. You're talking about that.
My mom has that, yeah.
Yeah, it's very common in moms.
Are you a mom? Oh yes.
Okay, so moms,
this is a really common thought pattern for moms.
You're always thinking of the catastrophic,
worst-case scenario.
What could go wrong, what if there are like,
five accidents on the way to the airport?
Mmm hmm. So this is
a really helpful strategy that somebody actually wrote in
and it's included in the book.
So what I want you do to, Chitra,
write one of your worries on that.
And I'm gonna explain what this person in our book did.
So she created a worry jar.
And she was such a worrier,
she was plagued by pessimistic thinking,
so for a month she wrote down every worry,
she put it in this jar,
and then she took it out at the end of the month
and she read all of her worries.
And she realized, and tell me, you worriers,
if you relate to this.
That most of our worries don't come true,
they're not as bad as we thought,
or they just resolved themselves on their own, right?
Can I read this? Sure.
So, "spending enough individual attention on my kids."
So moms tend to have a lot of worries about their kids,
so I want you to put this in the jar.
You're probably gonna have all sorts of worries.
Come back to this at the end of the month,
you're gonna realize that, as a mom,
I'm sure you do a great job with your kids.
And it's great to worry a little,
but not so much that it takes you away from your kids.
Right. Put this somewhere
where you can see it.
Every time you have one of those thoughts,
remind yourself, "you know what, this thought,
"like all of those thoughts,
"probably is not gonna be that bad."
You can let it go.
Oh wow, most of the audience is group B.
So I also What's a group B?
am a group B person.
I am a polarized thinker.
These are my perfectionists, right?
These are my people who, it's all or nothing.
If I don't do something perfectly,
I'm not gonna do it at all.
And I'm also gonna take on a lot
and everything I do, it's gonna be perfect.
Does that sound like you? That is me 100%, yes.
So this is what happens with people like you, and me.
We take on everything
and then we feel like we have too much to do,
and then we multitask but in the brain,
we know that in brain scans,
when you're multitasking you're not actually multitasking.
You are rapidly single-tasking
and your brain is going back and forth really quickly
and you lose time, productivity and brain power.
I see some head nodding, like, yep.
By overwhelming yourself.
By overwhelming yourself. Yeah, that's me.
I'm a B.
So this is a really simple tip.
So what I want people to do,
this is a tip from the book, is to work mindfully.
When you work mindfully, the front part of your brain,
the most advanced part of your brain,
the prefrontal cortex lights up
and you can actually thicken this part of the brain,
make it stronger, right.
So that when, you know,
shiny things are trying to grab your attention,
your phone beeping,
this part of the brain shuts that down
and you can work mindfully.
So this is how you do it.
One to ten, list 10 things that you need to do tomorrow.
Can I see your list?
Sure. Can I read it?
There's like 10 more things missing.
Coffee, breakfast, kids off to school, workout,
so you take on a lot for your family.
Yeah. And I see
that as a perfectionist it's already in chronological order.
That doesn't surprise me.
You start with number one, and by the way,
if you're not perfect as she is,
you can just put them in order of importance
and this is how to work mindfully.
You give all your attention,
because to be mindful simply means to do one thing
and only one thing at a time.
So number one, "coffee, breakfast."
So you're not gonna be thinking about the homework
that you have to do or the Target run,
while you're having breakfast.
You're gonna have your breakfast,
and you're gonna enjoy that coffee, every sip, every taste.
And then you're gonna cross that off
and then just move to number two.
Oh, no there's brush your teeth,
put your shoes on, put deodorant on.
(laughing)
Oh my lord. Do you have your homework?
There's all that stuff in between.
Sweetheart, you need a day at a spa.
That's what the coffee...
(laughing)
(audience clapping) So try this
mindful work strategy tomorrow and everyday,
so that you can actually enjoy yourself.
And for moms, too, do something mindfully.
Eat mindfully.
Take a shower mindfully.
You don't have to carve out an extra hour to be mindful.
You can just do it all day long.
My C group people, you are my permanent people.
This is your thought type.
How many C's are there here?
Men tend to be a little bit more permanence.
Oh, very few. But I see one man
who's a permanence person.
And these thought types, you know you get stuck
and it feels like what you're in right now,
that bad mood, that stress that you're feeling right now,
Right, right, right. That it's never
gonna get better.
So here's a little strategy I want you to use.
Go back to a scrapbook,
or you could even go into the photos in your phone,
and remind yourself of a time in your past
where something felt
like it was never going to pass but did.
I have so many of these in my life,
and now it's like, "oh, that got better."
so then again, you have this concrete evidence
from your own life that is telling you,
"you know what, when something else feels really bad
"and that it's never gonna go away,
"this, too, shall pass." It did.
It did, it already did.
(audience cheers)