- I'm gonna be honest and look, I'm not a pop culture,
I never know what's happening.
And I was reading my script last night I was like, "What?"
I had no idea y'all were dating.
And I'm very, I don't know why I'm excited about this.
It's kind of weird that I would be excited
about this because I don't know y'all that well,
but I just love it.
Two comedians, like dating. Who's the funniest at home?
Come on. - This one.
- Okay. - Oh. Well, no.
We're both. I mean, I'm bitchy funny, you know what I mean?
- Which is funny. - He's funny-funny.
He's like sweet, funny, good natured funny.
And then I come in and I'm like, you know-
- Yeah. She just knocks down all the pins.
- Go for the jugular? - Yeah.
- It's like, "Here comes bowling ball," and it's Chelsea.
- Yeah.
- I just think this will be the greatest show
ever to watch.
So wait, so do you remember the first time y'all met, Joe?
- Yeah. It was a long, long time.
Here's the thing I remember. She doesn't remember.
- Well, first of all, shut up. Okay?
Second, I remember, what I do remember,
Kelly, is that this very studio was
where we filmed "Chelsea Lately"
For like 4 or 5 years.
- Yes. - Yes.
And, Joe, what I do remember is Joe was a regular
on that show.
He was on my round table all the time.
'Cause we had comedians on and he was one of the best.
- There was no chemistry then? There was a...
- Well, he says I had a crush on him during that time.
I also don't recall that, you know?
- She doesn't recall anything.
- [Kelly] Unless it's what, a selective memory?
- We met through a mutual friend, Jon Lovitz.
- Okay. Yes. - And Jon Lovitz
was doing a show at the Laugh Factory.
He's like, "You have to meet Chelsea. She's hysterical."
(Kelly laughing)
"She's my only friend on MySpace."
- On MySpace?
- MySpace. So then I went to MySpace.
It was really Chelsea.
And then she started coming on the shows and she told
me about the show that she was about to develop and,
long story short, she came up with an idea
that I was supposed to be on the show and then I turned
it down and she just hated me forever.
- He says, I wanted, I asked him to be my sidekick.
Remember Chewy? - Yeah.
- He was my little nugget sidekick?
- [Kelly] Yes. Yes.
- Well, apparently, I went to him first and Joe turned
me down and then I hired Chewy.
- So, yeah. - You missed out?
- But she doesn't remember any of that.
- Not gonna have all this love for that long.
- Mm-hmm.
- Shame on you, Joe.
- Yeah. (Kelly laughs)
- I used to sit there.
The panel used to be right here.
She used to be right here and I used to look
at her like this.
- Oh, I loved your show. So not, oh my gosh.
- He did, he did. He had a crush on me.
I knew that. And... (Kelly laughs)
But I was never gonna get involved with somebody
on my round table.
You know? I mean, to me, they were just like comic boys.
And I was like they were, it was almost like I was the,
a parent in like that dynamic, you know?
I mean, I'm sure nobody thought of me as their mother, but-
- Do you play mommy now or?
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
We're gonna take that out.
Sorry.
- Actually, I think we should leave that in, Kelly.
- We're keeping it daytime. No.
So, wait, have y'all met each other's families yet?
- Oh, yeah.
I mean, I've met his family from years ago.
But, yeah, we've met each...
- He was with us home for Christmas in Whistler.
My whole family came to Whistler.
- Oh my gosh. I love Whistler. - Oh yeah. I love it too.
- That's where your family lives?
- Yeah. Well, no.
That's where we go for holidays 'cause I love to ski.
- I went there one year with my family. Yeah.
- Yeah. It's beautiful. - I used to snowboard.
Now, I'm not doing that. - Not anything.
- No, not athletic.
- She's like, "No."
- I thought I knew how to ski 'cause I was
from Vegas and I used to ski at Mount Charleston.
- Why did you think you could ski from Vegas? (laughs)
Wait, have you taught him how to ski?
- Well. We, he came up to.
Skiing is very important to me.
I'm very passionate about it.
- Really? - So, when he came up
to Whistler, I said, "Listen, I know you think.
I know you..."
- Oh my god. You're a snow bunny.
- Yeah. - Okay.
- I said to him when he came out to Whistler, I go-
- I would ski if I look like that. (laughs)
- Yeah. That's my bikini.
- [Kelly] Maybe if I ski, I will look like that.
That's gonna be, did you dress like this as well?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had matching outfits.
- How did he do? Skiing.
- Well, we threw him into the, I said, "Listen.
I know you think you've skied, but Vegas is not skiing.
So, stop talking about Vegas."
- First of all,
she acts like there's no mountains with snows in the...
She goes, "Where'd you learn Circus Circus?"
It's like, no, I didn't learn how to ski at Circus Circus.
- In all honesty, no one says Vegas
when you say, "Man, I had this great snow trip."
(audience laughing)
- Exactly. - That's true.
- You're alone. On an island.
Happy Valentine's Day. Once again, everybody.
But was Valentine's Day a big deal for y'all growing up?
And is it a big deal for y'all like now?
- I mean, no, first of all, it was, when I was growing up,
I liked the action of,
you know when you were a little girl in elementary
school and you had to hand out all those cards
to different boys?
- [Kelly] I do that with my kids, yeah.
I was the, that was like,
when I got the party started, I-
- I never got that card.
(Chelsea and Kelly laughing)
Never.
- When I was a girl, like third or fourth grade,
I love that, you get all the Valentine's, and you give
all the Valentines, you know?
And then as I grew up, I was like,
this is such a stupid holiday.
You know?
Like making, forcing people to be romantic
on days, you know?
- It's forced fun. - It's too manufactured.
- Yeah.
- So, I- - It's pressure.
- I appreciate people who are single on this holiday.
Like, please, have as much fun as possible
because it's just such a silly I mean, obviously,
I'm in love with you, and I'm happy to...
But don't... - Hey man, it shows.
(Chelsea and Kelly laughing)
- You're really selling it, honey.
- But don't go overboard.
- [Kelly] Oh my god. You all need a show.
- Let me get rid of these. (Kelly laughing)
- We hate flowers and cards.
- I don't know what I was thinking.
I bought her flowers and...
- I don't like any organized thing
where people say, on this day, you must do this.
- It's pressure.
I don't like, I love giving gifts.
It stresses me out so much to have a planned thing.
Like, I don't know why,
but do you get each other gifts or y'all not doing that?
'Cause here's my thing. At some point, you can buy your own.
Like, it's like, I'm always, like, I can buy my own stuff.
I don't need you to buy me some.
I'd rather have something like, I don't know.
I like something made or like a card,
or like something like that.
- Yeah. I always appreciate a card with writing.
- Like meaningful. - Yeah.
Much more than any gift.
- Yeah. 'Cause you could buy your own stuff.
- Exactly. And I do.
- It's me too. (laughs)
- Yeah. And we do, we should, yeah.
And also, like I think another point about singledom
and the people, the woman who was talking earlier
in your audience about being single,
like please I can't tell single women enough
to enjoy your singledom.
You are not gonna be single for long.
Nobody's ever single forever, you know?
So, enjoy and embrace it and use it as that time
to prepare for the guy or the girl that's coming.
(audience cheering) - Yeah. Okay.
So I love, though, like I've seen your eyes when I said,
gifts and like are you gonna like just trash
the gift you got her?
'Cause like, you were like backing up.
You're like, "Yeah, gifts are dumb. Nobody gives gifts."
- No. She loves it.
she it's you when you surprise her the right way,
she enjoys it. - Yeah. That's true.
- There's a lot of thought behind it and then yeah.
But, if you're just getting her a bunch of stuff,
she doesn't like that.
- There is no quicker way to make me angry.
- Yeah. - Than like a last minute,
oh I, and I'm like, did you literally swing by a store?
I really would've rather had nothing.
- [Joe] Yeah.
- It's like, you know, when they get you something,
and you're like, there was no thought into this at all.
- But, even like writing her a card is hard
because she's so, like, her vocabulary is so extensive.
- Who cares? - And it's like-
- Love is gentle. - It's like,
she's getting, it's like, you're getting graded.
It's like, she pulls out a red pen.
It's like, "Nope, this doesn't make sense.
You need a punctuation here."
- There are too many propositional phrases.
- Yeah. - I am a bit of a-
- What's this word? What?
- I am a bit of a- - It's love.
- I'm a bit of a buzzkill with that kind
of stuff, you know?
He'll be like, "Come over here and lay down."
I'm like, "It's lie down!"
I'll come over there when you say it right.
- I don't know why he's laughing.
I know you say lay down too.
- I love it.
I really wanna see a show with y'all in it.
So wait, let's talk about your comedy tours 'cause
I'm very excited.
Yours is called "Vaccinated and Horny," which is-
- I came up with the name,
Vaccinated and Horny before I was with Joe.
So, now, my horniness is only directed at one person.
- [Kelly] Yes. Now you have a vessel.
Yes. Very, yeah.
- So I'm still vaccinated, I'm still horny. Yeah.
- Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day.
(audience cheering) - For you.
So, wait, yours is called, Funny is Funny, right?
- Yes. - Yeah.
- Okay. So, why did you name yours that?
- I just, that's how I think you should look at life.
Funny is funny.
It doesn't matter who you are, what you look like,
what religion, what color.
Funny is funny. - Agreed. Yeah.
- It's the best language. - Yeah. We both-
- I enjoy the laugh.
- No, laughter is medicine.
- Yeah. - Absolutely.
- And we get to go on tour separately.
And then sometimes, we pop up at each other's shows.
- [Kelly] I was gonna ask y'all. Do y'all do that?
- So It's really fun when we do a show, like we just,
I mean, we just did a show in Seattle,
and it was a surprise, like, for me to come up, you know?
And he had 14,000 people in the audience
so it was a incredible night and that's his hometown.
So yeah, people get really excited when we were able
to pop up on each other's shows too.
But yeah, we're both on tour at the same time.
So, our schedules are, it's just like the perfect thing.
I never, ever, thought I would be able to date
a male comedian, you know?
- I, that's what I was gonna say.
Did you ever think y'all would date a comedian? She said no.
Did you ever think you'd date a comedian?
- No, I never, no. I never thought I would date her.
That's... (audience laughs)
Who cares about comedian?
I'm like, "Am I gonna be able to date her?"
- I love that y'all are on the road though.
That's like, I love when musicians, we do that like
we'll pop up on stage and surprise the audience
and it's like, the audience gets like a two for one.
That's awesome.
They probably freak out.
- Seattle was incredible. it was a lot of people.
And just to see her about to...
'Cause I always tell the DJ
that's gonna announce her to downplay it.
- [Kelly] Yeah? (laughs)
- You know what I mean?
Oh, this next, you're gonna love her. Ladies and gentlemen.
Chelsea Handler. And they go crazy.
- [Kelly] Oh my gosh.
- And it's just, it's fun to watch that reaction.
- Yeah. - That element of surprise
of, just like, it's another slap in the face.
They can't believe that's happening.
- And not to be too cheesy,
but it's gotta be cool to like feel that energy together,
like on stage.
- Yeah. - That's cool.
- Together too.
And it's also cool to go to all these cities
that we get to go to that you would never normally go to.
- Yeah. - Like I'm performing
in Louisville, Kentucky and Birmingham, Alabama.
Like, those aren't places that are on my list to travel to.
So, it's great.
- Start with that. - It's great-
- Lead with that.
- But you know what? - Hey, guys,
I'm only here for this one night so soak it up.
- I'm only here for your money.
- That was so funny. "I would never go to Alabama."
- I won't be here unless it was for a paycheck.
- Oh my God. I swear to God.
You'll kill it if you start with that. Oh my God.
I love you guys.
You can catch Chelsea Handler and Jo Koy
out on their nationwide tours right now.
Hers is Vaccinated and Horny.
His is, I just love saying it.
His is called Funny is Funny.
Go online for dates and cities for each.
Looking at you, Kentucky. Louisville.
- Yeah!