- Now dating in your 40's can feel really challenging.
Now if you look at the dating pool
in your 40's and beyond,
it looks very different than your dating pool in your 20's.
Dating in your 20's is all about having a lot of fun
enjoying yourself,
and it usually looks a little bit like this.
And then once you get into your 30's,
people become a little bit more mature,
people get a little more serious,
but then as your 30's go on
your dating pool starts to look a little bit more like this.
And then finally, if you're like one of my newest clients
who just joined Love Accelerator,
she sent me this meme,
and I laughed out loud, it was hilarious.
She said her dating pool looks a little bit like this.
Yikes.
Well fear not sexy single lady,
I am here to help you,
and believe it or not,
even if your 40's, 50's, 60s and beyond
the dating pool might feel like it looks like this,
but if you have the right strategies
you can absolutely attract a high value, high quality man,
I promise you, keep watching.
(gentle music)
Hey there, I'm Adam LoDolce,
founder of LoveStrategies.com,
where I help successful single women get out there
and attract long-lasting love,
and do it with a proven strategy.
And yes, we have attracted women
in their 40's, 50's, 60's and beyond
attract long-lasting love using our strategies.
And in this video I wanna reveal to you
three of the biggest mistakes that I see
women in their 40's and beyond make
when it comes to dating.
And by the way, before you get all frustrated
and say well men in their 40's, 50's, 60's
and beyond make a lot of mistakes as well,
why don't you talk about those mistakes?
Well my response to you is that
Love Strategies is for women.
Of course men make a lot of mistakes.
I used to coach men when it came to dating,
and I switched to women about nine years ago,
so I understand that.
But before you get frustrated,
I'd like you to take your defensive down,
and let's talk about some of these mistakes
that you can actively work on
and be aware of,
and it's going to drastically,
drastically improve your results
when it comes to attracting love,
so let me jump into those.
Dating mistake number one is just trying to cut through
all the BS of flirting
in order to save time.
A lot of our clients are very busy professionals,
they have a lot going on,
they have a lot on their plate,
and they don't have time for dating.
So when they go out with a guy for the first time,
they don't wanna flirt.
They don't wanna do any of that stuff,
they wanna cut to the chase,
and be like "Look, bro, what are you looking for?"
Except they don't say bro
'cause they're over the age of 40,
and that would be weird.
And in many ways they get into this interview mode
on that date just trying to see
whether or not they are compatible.
And they'll get way ahead of themselves.
Rather than a first date being fun, enjoyable,
building a little bit of chemistry,
a little bit of flirtatiousness,
a little bit of mystery,
they're just jumping way ahead,
and just talking about all the ways
that they might be compatible.
And then if they are compatible,
usually they'll cut to the chase,
and just wanna sleep with that guy pretty quickly
'cause they wanna see if there's sexual compatibility.
And look, there's no judgment here,
I understand wanting to cut to the chase,
and just cut through all that stuff,
but where you build that real fun, flirtatious connection
is on those first couple meetups.
And you want to keep that mysterious.
You wanna keep that fun.
You wanna keep that playful.
It's gonna be more enjoyable for you,
and it's gonna be more enjoyable for him.
And it's gonna build a stronger bond
for the remaining part of your relationship.
Dating mistake number two
is focusing far too much
on what you don't want in a man
rather than what it is that you do want in a man
in a relationship.
I was talking to a woman the other day,
and offhandedly she told me
that she had turned down a date from a guy.
And of course as a dating coach I asked her why.
And she said
"Well he's a lawyer, I don't mess with lawyers." (laughing)
So of course I'm sitting there wondering
why don't you mess with lawyers?
And she tells me that because
she once dated a lawyer 20 years ago,
and that guy was a total (beep),
so no longer does she date lawyers.
This is a classic example of hyper focusing
on the things that you don't want.
And by the way this is kind of an irrational thing
that you don't want
because obviously just because you dated one lawyer
all lawyers aren't (beep).
But needless to say that's focusing a lot
on what you don't want,
and instead when we work with clients
we focus on what we call a love vision.
This is little love step number two,
where we create a love vision,
and we get focused on the things
that are very important to us,
our needs that we need when we meeting men.
What are our deal breakers?
What are very important to us?
And we have this exercise that our clients go through,
and what this does is it leaves our heart open
to the right types of guys
rather than leaving our heart closed off
to the wrong types of guys.
It's just a shift in our focus,
and it can be incredibly powerful
and enlightening.
And there's a psychological effect.
When you're only focusing on the negative,
the things you don't want,
usually you end up attracting those things,
rather than when you start
focusing on the things that you do want,
you start attracting those things.
So let's start by practicing right now.
Why don't you comment below
with one quality,
one quality that you're looking for in a man.
Leave that comment right there below.
And finally, the third dating mistake
that women over 40 tend to make
is just not valuing themselves when they're dating.
It can be really easy
to fall into that trap of looking at women
in their 30's and 20's,
and thinking oh they're so beautiful,
they get all the attention from men,
what do I really have to offer men in a relationship?
I think it can be really easy to fall into that trap,
especially as you get a little bit older.
But I'm here to tell you from a male perspective,
having coached a lot of men,
that men are deeply attracted to a woman
who has, for lack of a better term,
her (beep) together.
A women who is emotionally stable,
who is at a point in her life
where she's looking for a partnership,
who's not looking to play games,
who is mature in many ways.
That is what you bring to the table,
among many other things.
So don't think that just because you're in your 40's,
50's and 60's and beyond
that you don't have a lot to offer, you do.
You have so many incredible things to offer,
and don't you forget that.
So lift your chin up, you've got this.
Get out there, go make it happen,
and if you want a little bit more guidance,
feel free to apply to speak to one of my love strategists,
where we'll dive deep into your love life,
and see whether or not our Love Accelerator program
is a fit for you.
You can apply anywhere, we'll leave some links below,
or you can head on over to loveapply.com.
Otherwise, we're gonna continue reasoning a ton
of free content for you every single week,
so make sure you go ahead
and give this video a like.
Don't forget to subscribe,
and I'll speak to you,
you sexy single lady, next week.
All right, bye, bye.