Oh!
Are you recording?
Oh, hi!
Oh, hi! "RUSTIN HIEBER: WANNABE CELEBRITY DOUCHE"
"RUSTIN HIEBER: WANNABE CELEBRITY DOUCHE"
I'm Rustin Hieber, "RUSTIN HIEBER: WANNABE CELEBRITY DOUCHE"
and you're about to see how incredible my life is! "RUSTIN HIEBER: WANNABE CELEBRITY DOUCHE"
and you're about to see how incredible my life is!
Never say never! "NEVER"
Never say never! "SAY"
Never say never! "NEVER"
Never say never!
"DAILY LIFE OF RUSTIN HIEBER"
From the moment I wake up,
I just feel confident.
Uh!
I am better than most people in life!
And from there,
I just, uh...you know,
put on my
"Oh look; he probably has more money than you" clothes,
and just head out.
And, why do I head out?
Obviously to show off my new kicks!
Oh! You thought I meant "shoes?"
No!
I mean REAL kicks!
Ah!
EHHHAHHHHH!
I'll probably practice my kicks
seven times a year.
no big deal.
And then, I just head on inside
and work on my new hit single
that's coming out soon:
"Never Say Never!"
[strum] I will ne--
[strum]
I-will-ne--
[strum]
I-will-ne--[cough]
[strum]
I'll--
[strum]
I will never say--
[strum, cough]
Okay, so maybe it wasn't quite finished,
but I tried it in many different ways!
You know, I tried it with a
deep, sexy voice.
[strum]
[in a "deep, sexy" voice] I will never say never!
Eh, I tried it a little bit higher
for that pre-puberty sound...
[strum]
[pre-pubescent screaming] IIIIII WILL NEVER SAY NEVER!!!
...More country...
[strum]
[in a stereotypical countyside voice] I will neeever say ne--
Emo...
[strum]
[shouting] I WILL NEVOR SAY NEVOR!!
[crying]
And I even did it doggy-style!
[strum]
Arf arf arf arf arf arf-arf!
And then I was like, wait!
It doesn't even matter!
Auto-tune?
I will never say never!
And then I realized:
there was another problem.
I will never say never
Wait,
I just said it twice!
[strum]
I will never say never,
unless I need to!
[strum]
I might sometimes say--
[strum]
I may s--
I probably won't s--
I know you love me!
I will never say never,
unless-the-circumstances-are-appropriate-for-the-situation-that-I-am-in-at-the-current-time!
You know, sometimes, during the day,
I go to visit my vocalist-stiloliger-izer...ist...
and he helps me to sing
just a tad bit better than I already am.
WHOOooooooOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOooooOOo.
whooooOOOOOOOOO--
I don't know why he chose singing. "JR AQUINO: VOCAL-STILOLIGER-IZER-IST"
"JR AQUINO: VOCAL-STILOLIGER-IZER-IST"
It boggles my mind. "JR AQUINO: VOCAL-STILOLIGER-IZER-IST"
oooooOOOOOOOOoOOOOooooo...yeahe!
whoooOOOOOO yeah!
He actually has NO talent at all!
whoOOOO-OoO-oo!
That's what I'm doing!
If he was Santa during Christmas,
EVERYONE, I mean everyone,
would be upset,
because he has
NO gifts!
You know, one of the most popular questions I get
ALL the time is:
Hey Rustin, how's your love life?
Now let me tell you,
when I was 13,
I had my first love.
There was nobody that could COMPARE to my baby;
nobody that could ever come between us, or could ever come above.
and I was was like:
Baby, baby, baby, oh,
I'm-a tell you one time:
Girl, I love--girl, I love--
girl, I love you!
And that's all I need; I just need somebody to love.
That way, there will be one less lonely girl,
'Cause when you smile,
I smile,
so please,
be a part of my world...two-point-oh.
'You high?
What?
Are you on drugs? That made no sense.
What? No!
Never!
...say never to drugs! Yes, I'm--
"NEVER"
Never say never! "NEVER"
"SAY" Never say never!
"NEVER" Never say never!
"NEVER"
Well, maybe sometimes. "UNLESS IF IT'S TO DRUGS..."
Yeah.
Yeah!
Autotuned!
See, I never thought that I could be a singer!
(And I'm not!)
I never thought that I'd be six feet tall!
(I'm short)
I never thought that I'd be a telemarketer!
(Would-you-like-to-buy-some-toner?)
I'd never not did never think I'd fall!
(...What?)
And I'm not being pessimistic!
(STICK!)
I'm just being realistic!
(Real-is-stick!)
You should give everything you have,
but remember this!
I will sometimes say never!
(I said it six times so far!)
I will eat peanut butter!
(Just 'cause it rhymes!)
Whenever my dog makes poop,
you know what I'll make you do!
Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up,
pick it up-up-up-up!
Unless you say "never!"
I, I sometimes say never!
Repetition is catchy!
TEE-HEE!