narrator: That whole day, Darby was buoyant.
Who knew when she'd see Augie again,
but for now, she was walking on air,
alive with the glow of a new connection.
The next day,
that glow began to wear off, and she hadn't heard from him,
so Darby went to great lengths to keep herself busy,
deciding it was time to color-code
her book collection. - [sighs]
Hey. [mellow music]
Do you think I should do, like,
an accent wall in here? ♪ ♪
- What kind of accent? - Just--I mean, just like...
- Australian? - Oh, my God.
That's not helpful. You know
what I'm going through. - [Australian accent]
Darby, I'm an accent wall. - I hate you.
narrator: The third day was harder. Darby sunk into an awful
apprehension. Why hadn't Augie texted?
Was she boring? Was her body weird?
Darby's brain started
doing mental gymnastics, coming up with ways she
could casually run into him. - Honestly, like,
at this point, I'm kind of pissed.
You know, I'm tempted to, like, just go to Politico
and confront him. - Okay, Darby,
look, I love you, but do remember that's my place
of work, okay? So keep that in mind.
- No, please, do it. - Thank you.
She thinks it's funny. - Honestly.
- I would never. I would never!
Mostly. Maybe. - Are those dates?
- Mm-hmm. - Okay, so date farmers
are on strike in Mexico, so technically,
you guys are like scabs. - You know what, Jim?
We don't need that from you. - Jim, we don't
need that from you. narrator: On the fourth day
of radio silence, Darby buried herself
in her work. - Very, very special tour:
the butt tour! [women cheering]
Yeah. - I'm tired.
How long is this tour? - It is two full hours.
Get ready. - Heels.
- Okay. We're gonna start over here.
This super cute muscular bronze butt.
This Greek bronze butt is very rare
because when Romans took over Greek dominions,
they knew how valuable the bronze was
the sculptures were made of, so they often
melted them down to make armor and weapons,
and we're very fortunate that this sculpture's
been preserved so we can all enjoy its very...
emotional, expressive clenched butt.
- [laughing] It looks like Spencer's dick.
[laughter] - Okay, guys, please.
Don't touch the statues. This is--this is really
against the rules. [dramatic classical music]
narrator: As Darby watched this woman
climb a statue that had managed
to survive centuries, she couldn't help but marvel
that someone chose this person.
♪ ♪ And not just for a day,
but for the rest of her life.
♪ ♪ Darby couldn't even get
a "Wazzup?" ♪ ♪
Around her, life continued
as if somehow there was anything
more important than what she was going through.
By this point, she'd managed to pull her flat mates
into it as she carried on
in the grand tradition of women waiting by the phone.
[phone chimes] - It's your dad.
- Good. - Uh, he wants to know
"who sings the song... 'Wonderwall'..."
- Ugh. - I'm sorry
it wasn't Augie. - It's okay.
You know, it was my dad. At least it wasn't my gym
asking where I've been. - [chuckles]
- Oh, my God. Why am I spinning out?
All this sucks. - Why don't you just
take the reins and text him? - Can I do that?
- No, you can't. Look, you have to wait for him
to hit you up. - Are you s--
- I don't want to get into a political debate about it.
It's just the world right now. - Says the girl who made Jim
read his high school diary out loud to you
like there are zero boundaries. - Look--
- Boundaries don't exist. - Yeah, 'cause I paid my dues.
Look, you can play
the crazy card down the road, but right now, you gotta,
like, bear down. - No, no, no.
No, no. That shit's so antiquated.
Listen, why do you need a boyfriend right now?
Honestly, look what it's doing to you.
This isn't Jane Austen times. I'm sorry.
- I think I'm just stressed because, like,
I told my boss that I was bringing a plus-one
to his wedding, and now I think
it would be super embarrassing to just, like,
not bring anyone. - I know what you're thinking,
you little 0 to 60 freak. - Even as a favor.
I could just be like, "Hey, as a friend, as a buddy--"
- You cannot invite Augie to that wedding, right?
- Oh, my God. I'm obsessed with him,
and it's so pathetic. [phone chimes]
I'll just-- [squeals]
- No way! [both squeal]
- [laughs]
Fine. - I'm gonna be
totally chill. - Totally.
- I'm gonna be totally chill. - Mm-hmm.