HOW IS EVERYBODY DOING?
EVERYBODY FEELING ALL RIGHT TONIGHT?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I AM FEELING FINE, BECAUSE ON
TUESDAY, THIS HAPPENED WITH HELEN MIRREN.
♪ (APPLAUSE)
THAT'S RIGHT!
THAT IS DAME HELEN MIRREN, SO TECHNICALLY, THAT MAKES ME A
KNIGHT.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THEN JUST YESTERDAY WITH THE
GREAT SALLY FIELD, THIS HAPPENED.
♪ (APPLAUSE)
SO IT HAS BEEN AN EVENTFUL WEEK FOR MY FACE.
FEELING PRETTY GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
THESE WERE BOTH GREAT MADE-FOR-TV MOMENTS, AND WHEN I
GOT HOME, MADE-FOR-AWKWARD SILENCE MOMENTS.
ACTUALLY, MY WIFE IS COOL WITH IT.
WE TALKED IT OVER AND AGREED SHE IS FREE TO MAKE OUT WITH
GENTLEMAN ACTOR OF A CERTAIN AGE.
I SUGGESTED IAN MCKELLAN AND SHE SUGGESTED PAUL RUDD.
HE'S 70.
MY WIFE TOLD ME HE'S 70.
AND I JUST WANT TO STATE, ON RECORD, THAT BOTH THOSE KISSES
WERE GREAT BUT DID NOT MEAN ANYTHING, WHICH IS WHY I AM NOT
HURT THAT NEITHER OF THOSE WOMEN CALLED THE NEXT DAY.
(LAUGHTER) I MEAN, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF
THEY'VE CALLED BECAUSE I HAVE NOT CHECKED MY PHONE SINCE I
CAME OUT HERE.
NOPE.
NOTHING.
HOW ARE YOU DOING, MEREDITH?
>> I'M GOOD.
SUPER CROWD.
>> Stephen: SUPER NICE CROWD.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU THINK
OF THOSE LADIES KISSING ME THIS WEEK?
DID YOU THINK THAT WAS APPROPRIATE?
>> I THOUGHT HELEN MIRREN'S WAS VERY TENDER.
>> Stephen: IT WAS.
IT STARTED OFF TENDER THEN GOT VERY, VERY HOT HALFWAY THROUGH.
>> IT FELT LIKE WE SHOULDN'T BE SEEING IT, LIKE IT WAS PERSONAL.
AND SALLY FIELD WENT FOR IT.
>> Stephen: SALLY FIELD DEFINITELY WENT FOR IT.
I'M NOT GOING TO SAY "TONGUE" BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN
PROVE IT.
(LAUGHTER) >> YEAH.
WELL, I MEAN, IF THE REVERSE HAPPENED --
>> Stephen: IF I WENT ON, IF A MAN WENT ON.
>> LIKE AN ACTOR OF A CERTAIN AGE WENT ON --
>> Stephen: LIKE A 70-YEAR-OLD MAN --
>> YEAH, WENT ON AND KISSED ONE TO HAVE THE MANY LATE NIGHT TALK
SHOW HOSTS, I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WOULD HAVE GONE OVER.
>> Stephen: I THINK ALL OFO THE FEMALE TALK SHOW SHOWS WOULD
HAVE BEEN MAD ABOUT IT.
I THINK THAT'S WHY THEY ALL WALKED OFF THE JOB.