Well, it looks like the family here
is going to get a little bit bigger
coming in on the heels of Sona's twin boys.
It looks like my wife and I are having a baby as well.
Congratulations! Yay!
That is really exciting. Thank you.
I actually knew that ahead of time.
We knew, we knew.
We both knew and I'm a bad actor.
So I just, anyone listening who heard me
and just went, oh, congratulations, good for you.
I'm realizing now that sounds awful.
Yeah. It's because I knew already,
and I've known for some time.
But this is the first time that you're telling
the listening public.
That's right. It's far enough along.
In fact, we're not that far out,
but I've known for so long that I had to be a bad actor.
That Sona, when you announced you had twins on the way,
I wasn't going to obviously rain on that parade,
but I knew about my child on the way,
but couldn't say anything and just, you know,
it's interesting how you have to do that, but wow.
So Conan, we're going to be gone with children.
Yeah. Yeah.
You're going to be alone, we planned it.
I hope this comes across the right way,
but I pay you guys to podcast not to have babies.
(both laugh)
What's going on here?
Seriously, everyone's like, oh, thanks for the check, Conan.
They do come regularly.
Oh, and something else,
my partner and I had sex and babies are coming.
And we're going to leave you,
but we still want those checks.
Now that seems unreasonable to me.
You're deflating it a little bit.
I don't think so, I think I have
I do think that there's just a little bit of deflation
happening, and this is a joyous occasion.
And you're talking about our paychecks.
Well, I'm just trying to understand
how this works from a business point of view.
And I'd like to go over, I'd like to talk to
some of the people in charge of the podcast,
you know, your Adam Sachs, various accountants,
they're hard at work at the show.
They may say, well, this doesn't make sense.
From a, when you go to business school,
they don't tell you about this.
You know?
Now I say that as someone who never went to business school,
but I used to walk around the business school sometimes
try and meet people.
What? I was asked to leave.
I just thought it would be what most people
went to business school, they might know stuff
and I can hang out with them.
It didn't happen. That's weird.
It was very weird, and it was a bad period in my life.
I was a business school groupie,
I didn't go, I just hung out in the library.
Wow. But my point is,
I don't think this is part of the
organizational Team Coco flowchart.
Well, like Sona said, we plan this.
And we also know that my daughter's
going to grow up to marry one, if not both of her sons.
(laughs)
Who knows what's going to happen then?
So you're having a girl, is that what you said?
That's right, yeah. That's great.
So I, you're going to be gone, right?
Because you're going to be helping your wife, Amanda,
take care of your new child, right?
Yeah, that's the plan.
But maybe we'll be staggered, actually.
Maybe Sona will be back because our due date
is not till September, late September.
And again, I hate to, maybe Adam,
if you could just jump in for a second,
do they get paid while they're on, what is it called?
Oh my God. How does it work?
It's maternity and paternity leave, yes.
What is it, what's the deal?
The problem is that parental leave protections
are really strong in California.
So as far as I understand, they really can just
be gone as long as they want. The problem?
It's a problem?
No, but the Adam is on the right track, he knows exactly.
Okay, yes, it is problematic.
And I'm sure that there are these quote laws on the books.
But if we've learned anything over the past few years
with a good lawyer, I mean, have there been challenges?
Oh my God! This is interesting.
Cause I'm an independent contractor and I had no idea
that this was even an option.
So I'm glad this is getting on record.
Yeah, Conan. (laughs)
Wait a minute, I think our lawyer, oh great,
our lawyer is available, he's coming in now.
Oh, shit. Uh-oh.
Hey, you don't have to pay it if you don't want it.
What? (both laughs)
Sylvester Stallone is your lawyer?
Hey, you don't have to pay it,
If you don't want to pay it.
I object. Just don't pay it.
It's not something you have to pick.
So it's not something, oh, by the way,
I should probably introduce my lawyer.
Yeah. This is, Jason Giacometti.
Oh, God.
Jason, so you think it's?
It's crazy, they're not working.
They just help in raise their own kids.
(laughs) I know.
It's just, that's the only part that seem weird to me.
Is there a way to maybe put them on a reduced pay?
I think we could probably make that case.
Okay, Jason Giacometti.
You're an incredible lawyer and
a very good boxer in the 70s.
You fought in Philadelphia, and against
incredible fighter for the title and you almost won,
but you stuck by Adrian.
(laughs) I just,
just think you don't have to pay it.
Oh, God. All right.
Well, I'm glad our lawyer was able to cut in
and talk to us briefly.
I, here's the thing, I know you guys think,
I'm doing a bit and, and to a degree I am.
I'm having like a bit and some shtick,
but then it does, I do get confused.
Like how long do you think you'll be gone, Sona?
Would you be gone like? A year?
What are you fucking talking about?
Yeah, that sounds right. You're not gone for a year.
Yeah, and I'll probably two,
for paternity leave is typically longer.
So that'll be two years.
My mother had six children in four years,
(laughs) and she took no time off.
Oh my God. Babies were just flying out
left and right.
And then my mother was constantly back to work.
That's what it was like when I was growing up,
no one said a child is born
and wise men gather and bring frankincense and myrrh.
Whatever that is. (laughs)
And that's back when people got excited about a spice.
Can you imagine today, if someone was born
and you showed up at the door, I brought you some spice.
Some paprika.
I brought paprika and cumin. (laughs)
That's what you better send us.
I brought paprika and cumin, and some basil leaves.
Okay, well, this other person showed up
with a really nice pram from Britain
and this person gave us a baby Bjorn.
And this person gave us a, well, I brought spice.
Because that's what's in the bible.
Oh my God. Well, I,
You've had two kids.
Yeah, I took no time off.
But didn't you want time off?
It was kind of crazy at home.
Come on.
She wasn't sleeping, the babies, (baby noises).
And I was like, well, if I don't interview
Tim Robbins, who will?
I guess the option is we could not take time off
and just do these remote recordings,
holding our babies up to the mic the entire time.
Yeah, isn't there a way, that's my other question.
As long as you're holding the baby,
you're quote, being a good parent.
And I'm sure you're a digital wiz, Gourley,
with your sonic abilities.
Can't you remove their crying and fussing digitally?
Oh my God. No, no.
No? No.
If you're not going to give us leave,
these babies are going to be there,
there are gonna be three babies screaming
at the top of their lungs
during the entire interview with the next Obama.
What if I have to breastfeed?
You'd get very awkward, Yeah, me too.
if I like had a thing around me
and then was breastfeeding.
You don't even like me saying cervix.
In today, stop it, don't say cervix.
It's never been proven there is such a thing.
(laughs)
Science is that, the jury is still out on that.
Oh, jeez. There's no cervix,
there's no such thing.
Uterus, Placenta,
Like the female orgasm, it is, but a myth!
(laughs)
I'm concerned, I'm concerned about you guys
leaving me because we make such a good trio.
You know, me being sort of an alpha,
but you guys, whatever, I'm the sun
and you're these, but you're very good planets
that revolve around me and, Oh my God.
lifeless planets, small, often.
Why would we ever want time off from this?
(everyone laughs)
I can't wait for this baby to come.
I know. I can't wait.
You guys are going to induced labor early.
(laughs) I know.
Why would you want to induce at seven months?
Trust me, we work with a monster!
Ugh, Amanda's pregnant again?
It's two months after she just gave birth.
Well, let me be in a rare moment of sincerity.
I love both of you guys,
and I'm very excited for both of you.
You're going to be amazing parents.
I do resent that you get this thing called paid leave.
I still don't get that, I will again, look into it,
but I will decide for now to pretend
to be gracious about it. (laughs)
And, but I'm really excited,
and I promise that even without the two of you
who are so great, leaving temporarily,
we'll keep the fun coming here at Conan O'Brien
needs a friend.
I will not let you down, I will not let you down.
Even though I've been betrayed by two of my cohorts and
their need to procreate.