- I AM GLAD WE'RE INSIDE. IT IS HOT OUTSIDE.
OOH, ISN'T IT HOT? IT'S VERY, VERY HOT.
IT WAS SO HOT YESTERDAY, I PUT ON A SWIMSUIT.
I FILLED THE LITTLE KIDDY POOL WITH ICE,
AND I STUCK MY FEET IN IT,
AND THAT'S WHEN THE MANAGER AT WALMART SAID,
"PLEASE.
LEAVE, LADY."
THE WEATHER IS SUPPOSED TO GET BETTER THIS WEEK,
BUT TODAY, I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S--
IT'S NOT GETTING BETTER.
IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT'S GONNA GET BETTER ANYTIME SOON,
AND THAT IS FLYING.
ANYBODY FLY HERE TODAY?
[cheers and applause]
YEAH. WELL, NOT HERE.
YOU DIDN'T FLY DIRECTLY TO THE STUDIO,
BUT TO LOS ANGELES.
FLYING IS JUST-- IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY YEAR,
THE AIRPLANE SEATS ARE CLOSER AND CLOSER TOGETHER.
DOESN'T IT SEEM RIDICULOUS?
PEOPLE ARE SQUISHED TOGETHER, CAUSING A LOT OF PROBLEMS.
A FEW WEEKS AGO, THERE WAS A FLIGHT, AND THIS--
IT WAS IN THE NEWS. YOU PROBABLY SAW THIS.
THE LADY TRIED TO PUT HER SEAT BACK,
AND IT WOULDN'T GO BACK BECAUSE THE GUY BEHIND HER
PUT SOMETHING ON CALLED "THE KNEE DEFENDER."
HOW YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS THING?
I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT UNTIL RECENTLY.
THERE'S THIS LITTLE THING, AND IT'S A REAL PRODUCT,
AND I DON'T KNOW WHO STARTED IT.
BUT ANYWAY, YOU ATTACH IT TO THE SEAT IN FRONT OF YOU,
AND THE PERSON CAN'T RECLINE THEIR SEAT.
IT'S TERRIBLE. I BOUGHT 12 OF THEM.
[laughter and applause]
THE LADY ON THE FLIGHT ASKED THE GUY TO--
I GUESS SHE FIGURED OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON.
SHE COULDN'T GO BACKWARDS.
AND HE REFUSED TO TAKE IT OFF, SO SHE THREW HER DRINK AT HIM.
AND SO THANKS TO THE KNEE DEFENDER,
HE GOT EXTRA LEG ROOM AND A FREE DRINK,
SO IT WAS A WIN-WIN FOR THAT GUY.
YOU JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH WHEN PEOPLE THROW DRINKS AT YOU.
SEVERAL AIRLINES HAVE BANNED THESE,
BUT OBVIOUSLY THERE'S A DEMAND,
SO I CAME UP WITH SOMETHING CALLED "THE E-DEFENDER."
AND HERE'S WHAT MINE IS, AND IT'S REALLY COOL.
IT'S LIKE THE KNEE DEFENDER,
AND IT GOES ON THE BACK OF THE SEAT IN FRONT OF YOU,
BUT IT'S ACTUALLY-- LET ME SHOW YOU.
IT'S EVEN BETTER BECAUSE YOU CAN STORE THINGS IN IT.
MA'AM, DO YOU MIND IF I PUT THIS BEHIND YOU?
ALL RIGHT, 'CAUSE--
YOU CAN STAY WHERE YOU ARE. THAT'S FINE.
SO YOU CAN STORE THINGS.
YOU CAN KIND OF CHARGE YOUR CELL PHONE, YOU KNOW?
AND--AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
YOU'RE LIKE, "WHAT COULD THAT DO THAT,
YOU KNOW, WOULD KEEP SOMEBODY FROM RECLINING THEIR SEAT?"
BUT IF YOU WOULD-- WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
- MEEGAN. - MEEGAN.
TRY TO RECLINE YOUR SEAT.
[audience exclaims]
SO...
[cheers and applause]
THANK YOU. THANK YOU, MEEGAN.
[cheers and applause]
THANK YOU.
LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU, MEEGAN.
THAT'S--
THANKS FOR HELPING US OUT. APPRECIATE IT.
I KNOW IT'S TIGHT ON AIRPLANES.
I KNOW, BUT STILL,
WE SHOULD TRY TO BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER.
IT'S WHAT I SAY ON MY SHOW EVERY DAY,
AND ANOTHER THING I DO ON THE SHOW EVERY DAY
IS DANCE.