As I said in my previous video, communication skills are a necessity in today's society
and are something everyone should learn.
After all, 85 percent of one's success in life is directly due to communication skills.
Connecting with other people brings infinite rewards.
Whether it's landing the job, winning the promotion or charming a new partner, other
people are your greatest resource.
In this video I'll be sharing another five techniques from the book "How to talk to anyone".
Let's begin and take your conversation to the next level.
Technique number one:
MATCH THEIR MOOD
The first step in starting a conversation without strangling it, is to match your listener's
mood, if only for a sentence or two.
I'm sure you've suffered the aggression of a mood mismatch.
You're late, rushing to a meeting, when a colleague stops you and starts lazily narrating
a long, boring story.
Or maybe you have been feeling down when some overexcited associate starts pounding you
with questions.
It's not pleasant.
Every mother knows, or at least should know, that to quiet a crying child, she shouldn't
just shake her finger and shout "Quiet down".
No, moms pick their babies up.
They cry sympathetically, matching baby's misery for a few moments.
Then they gradually transition into a happy sounds.
Your listeners are all big babies!
Match their mood if you want them to stop crying, start buying, or otherwise come around
to your way of thinking.
So before opening your mouth take a voice sample of your listener to detect their state
of mind.
If they are feeling down, be sympathetic with them.
If they are super excited, share their enthusiasm.
So when your communication counts, match their mood and voice tone, if only for a moment.
Technique number two:
PRESENT MUNDANE WITH PASSION
It's not what you say, it's how you say it.
Worried about your first words?
Fear not, because 80 percent of your listener's impression has nothing to do with your words anyway.
No matter how dull and mundane the text, an empathetic mood, a positive appearance and
a passionate delivery, make you sound exciting.
So anything you say is fine, as long as it's not a complaint, something unpleasant, or rude.
If the first words out of your mouth are a complaint - BAM - people label you a complainer.
Why?
Because if you're speaking to a new acquaintance, that complaint is his 100% sampling of you
so far.
So make sure the first words out of your mouth are nothing unpleasant.
Anything else works, no matter how boring.
Just add some excitement to it.
Technique number three:
BECOME A MODERN DAY RENAISSANCE MAN
The term "Renaissance man" is often applied to people who seek to develop their abilities
in all areas of accomplishment.
A great example would be Leonardo Da Vinci, whose area of expertise ranged from science
to art.
If you want to become a social expert, you need to have knowledge related to every imaginable
field, not just what you like.
If I'm interested in playing the piano, that doesn't mean that whenever I meet someone
I'll only talk about the piano.
And if I don't have any interest in boxing, it doesn't mean I shouldn't have any knowledge
related to it.
Let's say you meet someone new, someone who loves boxing and won't shut up about it.
If you don't know anything about the sport, the conversation will probably end very fast,
because you won't know what questions to ask your new acquaintance.
So every once in a while scramble up your day and read up on a new subject that you
don't know anything about.
You just might learn something interesting, and more importantly, you'll have some new
material to talk about.
"Oh yes, I actually saw that fight.
Did you see that right hook K.O.?"
Technique number four:
ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING INTERESTING TO SAY
When going to a gathering, you naturally plan your outfit and make sure your shoes will
match.
And, of course, you must have just the right tie or correct color lipstick.
But wait a minute.
Didn't you forget the most important thing?
What about the right conversation to enhance your image?
You will follow your instincts in conversation.
But at least be prepared in case inspiration doesn't hit.
The best way to insure you're conversationally in the swing of things, is to listen to a
newscast just before you leave.
What's happening in the world right now: all the fires, floods, stock market crashes, they
make great conversational material, no matter what crowd you're circulating in.
So the last thing you do before you leave the house is check today's news.
Technique number five:
NEVER THE NAKED THANK YOU
We use the phrase "thank you" so often that people don't even hear it anymore.
Very simply, never let "thank you", stand naked and alone.
Always make it "thank you for something".
When we buy groceries at the store, we flash a naked thank you at the cashier when they
give us back our change.
Is that the same "thank you" you want to give to a loved one who cooks you a delicious dinner?
Always dress up your appreciation with a reason:
Thank you for helping me with the dishes.
Thank you for being such a loyal customer.
Thank you for cooking this amazing meal.
When thanking someone always think of it as three words, not two: "thank you for".
And while we're at it, thank you for watching till the end.
I hope you learned something new today.
If you have any other tips or techniques you'd like to share, do it in the comments below.
Together we'll become better than yesterday. :)