-You know our next guests from their massively popular show
"Impractical Jokers."
New episodes air Thursday nights at 10:00 on truTV.
Let's take a look.
-Kyphoplasty. K-Y?
-We're not gonna tell you. [ Laughter ]
What are you looking at us for?
You think that's the way spelling bees work?
-Oh, my God, look at -- This dog cannot wait.
You got bandages nearby?
Uh, K-Y.
Pho?
P-H-O?
P-L-S-T-I-C-Y.
[ Buzzer ] -Ooh, I'm so very sorry.
That is incorrect.
[ Laughter ]
-Please welcome back to the show James Murray, Brian Quinn,
and Sal Vulcano, everybody.
♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Gentlemen, welcome back! -Thank you.
It's good to see you.
-So, I feel like we need to explain that clip a little bit.
-Yes. -Obviously, you come up with
pranks with extreme punishments,
and you were sitting there with a fellow Staten Islander,
Colin Jost, and it's a spelling bee?
-Yeah, what happened is was, apparently -- 'cause now we're
having guests on "Impractical Jokers," and we're trying to
work out the punishments with them, how to connect it
to their lives, a little fancy.
And Colin is a great speller, won a spelling bee,
so he was like, "Here's the idea.
We'll do a spelling bee.
And every time you get the word wrong, an attack dog will
run out and viciously attack you and grab you to the ground."
And I was like, "Yeah, sounds great, sounds great."
-Now, you were okay.
I should note an extreme amount of padding here.
[ Laughter ]
-I look like a Monty Python.
-No, that was just COVID weight. That's just COVID weight.
[ Laughter ]
-Hey, we all had a different experience.
Did you still, though, have some bruising from the dog?
-Yeah. What happens is, those suits,
the dogs bite and you feel every tooth touching.
It just stops it from breaking through.
So when I took the suit off, I had dog bite marks all --
everywhere the dog bites me and it drew me back to him screaming
"Bite him in his nuts! Bite him in the nuts!"
He's screaming. [ Laughter ]
-The nuts would have been the prime target.
[ Laughter ]
-I like that those dogs are intensely trained, but also,
you still you can point them to an area in the moment.
[ Laughter ] So, guys, 10 years.
That's such an accomplishment. Ten seasons of any show.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Thank you.
-But you have all really put yourself through it.
In order to succeed, you have had to fail together
and go through some real wringers.
Is it amazing when you look back?
Do you think, "I can't believe it's been going on this long"?
-Oh, my God, yeah. Yeah.
We would never have believed
we've been on the air for 10 years.
Prior to this, I hadn't done anything
for more than just a few months.
[ Laughter ]
-And now that it's an institution, do people come up
and pitch you ideas all the time?
-Yeah.
-Usable?
-No. [ Laughter ]
-Everyone from our -- you know, my aunts to people
on the street, and they'll just go, "Oh, you know when you do
your little skits?"
They're like, "You should do -- fly the plane and then
you tell them, 'Hey, everybody, it's a joke.'"
It's like, yeah, I don't -- Not only do you not understand
the way the show works, I don't really think you
understand how aviation works.
-It's either that or like, "Prank me! Prank me!"
And we're like, "What do you -- What?" It's so bizarre, yeah.
-The weirdest for me was I went to Giants Stadium to see a game.
Halftime, I go to use the men's room.
And I'm squeezed shoulder to shoulder with this dude.
And he leans over and whispers in my ear.
He goes, "Mur, am I on the show right now?"
I was like, "No, dude, I'm peeing in the bathroom."
[ Laughter ]
-Alright.
Sal, you were on "Kelly and Ryan," but it was Chris Pratt.
Chris Pratt was filling in for Ryan.
This is an example of -- Obviously, within the body of
your show, people know what to expect, but sometimes outside
your environs, you can find that people maybe don't know
what to expect from you. -Yeah.
Look, not every television appearance goes as well as
this one is going right now. [ Laughter ]
We're on the morning show, we get there at like 7:00,
and I'm like, "I want to do something different,"
and, you know, you're loopy, right?
So I have this idea. Right before that,
Chris Pratt -- They gave away a trip on the air.
But the woman got it wrong.
And he's like, "I'll give it to her anyway."
Then they told him on air, "You can't do that. It's illegal."
So he's like, "I'll pay for the trip.
5,800 bucks? I'll pay for it." The place goes nuts.
And then Kelly says, "I'll split it," and they go nuts.
And he was promoting "The Magnificent Seven,"
the remake of the famous Western, right?
So they were on the show.
The next guest is Denzel Washington,
who's on the show with them.
Denzel comes out. First thing he says is,
"I heard you guys are going to split that trip.
I'm going in three ways with you. We're all buying the trip
for the lady," and the place goes nuts.
So I'm like, "Alright, I have an idea."
[ Laughter ]
-He didn't run it by any of us.
-I got a Hanes T-shirt and a black magic marker
and I wrote "Magnificent Seven" on it 'cause I was going to say
they obviously needed help promoting the thing,
Denzel and Chris Pratt.
I misspelled it 'cause I thought that would even
be another layer of funny.
And then when I came out, the first thing I said
when we sat down, before anyone said anything, I said,
"Before We start, I want to make an announcement.
I am not going four ways on the trip with the woman."
[ Laughter ]
And the audience -- -They just laughed more.
[ Laughter ]
-The audience took me completely serious.
And on air, Kelly goes, "No, it's okay.
We're going to get the trip. You don't have to do that."
And they didn't know I was joking,
and then nobody ever brought up the shirt that said --
[ Laughter ]
-That is not a good look.
[ Laughter ]
-I just think they think I have --
-You looked great. He looked great.
-They think I have big issues. -Yeah.
-What about your wedding, Mur?
Did you have issues with your wedding?
-Speaking of issues, yes.
-Well, this is a self -- You brought this on yourself.
-Oh, you did it to yourself?
-I did it to myself, but it was from a genuine place.
I recently got married. -Congratulations.
-Thank you, thank you. [ Cheers and applause ]
And to surprise my wife and to surprise all of
her friends and family -- my wife, Melissa, is a huge fan
of Smash Mouth. -Sure.
-Or so I thought. -Yeah, it's not true.
Turns out, she just liked "Shrek."
-Oh, no. -That was it.
-Yeah, because "All Star" is on that, right?
-Yeah.
-So I secretly hired Smash Mouth
to play my wedding at the end, right?
The problem was they enjoyed the wedding a little bit too much.
-Oh, no! -Okay, so by the time it came
for them to play, they were hammered, and my wedding ended
with Smash Mouth giving my mother the middle finger,
dropping the mike, and leaving. [ Audience gasps ]
-So you did it to yourself, though!
-I did it to myself.
As a comedian, I thought it was the best wedding ever.
[ Laughter ]
I started frantically texting Q.
He couldn't make the wedding. I started frantically texting him.
-I could have made it. [ Laughter ]
-I start frantically texting him, saying,
"This is a disaster, it's out of control,
thank God you're not here."
-I was simultaneously texting him,
"Oh, my God, best wedding ever." [ Laughter ]
"You're missing this. Smash Mouth is going bananas."
[ Laughter ]
-The problem is when you hire Smash Mouth,
you get Smash Mouth. -That's what they say.
Do you have any exciting punishments
we can look forward to this season?
-Oh, man.
-I mean, if you don't mind indulging me for a moment.
[ Laughter ]
We had Method Man as the host of the episode.
-Fantastic. -In the punishment,
and him and I were on a television panel
and I was speaking in front of a room of like 50, 60 people
as a television expert.
But right before I went onto the panel, the guys had me
insert an adult apparatus into my posterior section.
-We put a dildo in his ass!
[ Laughter ]
-And they controlled it on an iPad.
And the device had four settings -- hurricane, tsunami,
earthquake, and smooth jazz.
[ Laughter ]
I was freaking leaping. I was leaping.
-Smooth jazz was never played that night.
[ Laughter ] -Can I say something?
I feel like that would be the most jarring, smooth jazz.
[ Laughter ]
Like, "I don't like that."
-Just really riffing up there.
-But wait, Sal, how did you end up -- You ended up as the face
of an erectile-dysfunction pill on a porn site.
-I don't know. I just started getting
text-messaged that I was --
Yeah, I guess they took a freeze frame from the show of
when I had a lab coat on.
I was playing an optometrist on the show.
Apparently that got co-opted
and I was now the face of an erectile dysfunction --
I got no income.
I got no free pills. I got nothing.
-At the very least, you should get a free pill or two.
-Yeah, one free pill.
Give me one free erection off the thing.
-We've mentioned some Staten Island royalty,
which you guys are as well.
Were you upset when you heard that Jost and Pete Davidson
bought the Staten Island ferry?
-We felt we should have been involved.
-Yeah. -Yeah, we felt like
there was a Staten Island contingent.
We should've been involved.
He was actually angry, if I'm being honest.
-No, I texted Q and Casey Jost,
Colin's brother, who directs our show.
-Wonderful director of your show, yes.
-Yes. So I texted them, "Do you think we should buy this ferry?
I don't know the monetary implications of it,
but let's seriously check it out."
And then Casey forwarded the article to his brother
the next day, and then the following day, 48 hours later,
they had purchased the ferry.
-Oh! So you were trying to buy it.
-Stole it -- No. I'm so glad that it was --
Thank God, because that's a money pit.
I wish you guys well. I will be a customer,
but thank God I didn't get in on that investment.
[ Laughter ]
-I think that is probably a very good outcome.
It's very nice to know that you guys are very -- the same
in real life as you are on the show.
You recently had what could fully be an "Impractical Jokers"
episode with a dinner bill.
[ Laughter ] -Oh, yeah.
-So, we go out to dinner a few weeks ago,
and Sal has to use the restroom at the end of the meal.
The bill comes.
So, while Sal was in the bathroom, Q and I split.
We took off, left Sal stuck with the bill.
-How fast do you decide it?
Is it very much in the moment, like, "we should just go"
and both of you agree immediately?
-It's kind of like falling in love.
We locked eyes and just knew, and just knew.
Yeah, we ran out as fast as we can.
-To be fair, I don't know what I was thinking
going to the bathroom at the end of the meal.
[ Laughter ]
It was my fault. I asked for it. -How much was the bill?
-It was tough because, you know, it was over 600 bucks.
-Oh, my God! -Yeah.
-And he's on TV, so he's got to tip really well.
[ Laughter ]
-And there's no Denzel to chip in, no Chris Pratt.
[ Laughter ]
-Believe me, before I put my credit card down,
I searched feverishly for Denzel.
[ Laughter ]
-Gentlemen, congratulations on another season.
It really is amazing what you guys continue to do.
James Murray, Brian Quinn, Sal Vulcano, everybody.
And new episodes of "Impractical Jokers"
air Thursday nights on truTV.