What's up guys, hope you're doing well. If you're new to the show, in these videos I
talk about things that I hate; things I'm just:
Not About That Life!
For example, when you go to the bathroom. The toilet's automatic. The sink is automatic.
But the paper towel dispenser isn't automatic. So you're sitting there like an idiot waving
your hand, cause sometimes it doesn't work and you have to do that. Then you finally
realize what's up.
DAHECK!
37 seconds later.
Not About That Life!
When you're in the car and you're so angry cause the person in front of you is driving
like a chump...
...and then you realize it wasn't the car in front of you driving slow, it was the car
in front of him, but you're so mad you don't care!
You're mad at both of them now, allowing himself to be behind such a slow driver!
Not About That Life!
Females, ladies, women, some guys too, you guys don't understand the concept of best.
You can't have seven best friends. That's not how the word works. That just makes me
worry. I get married one day and then my wife is like "that was the best sex I've ever had."
What am I supposed to think now? Because you have 17 best friends. I'm not really sure
how I'm supposed to take that.
Not About That Life!
I was downtown the other day, downtown Orlando and this homeless dude came up to me. And
without saying anything, he made eye-contact with me, looked me up and done, sniffed me,
and then just walked off.
Now, I wasn't even mad that he was somehow able to sense that I was broke...cause some
girls can do that too. They have that power.
I was more upset that he sniffed me, like I was the one who needed to take a shower.
Like I was the one who smelled bad.
Not About That Life!
Speaking of being broke, you know you're broke when you're sitting at a drive-thru and you're
afraid. You're afraid that they're going to tell you to pull forward before telling you
how much it cost. Do you know how embarrassing it is to ask someone to take the chicken nuggets
off? Apparently, at Wendy's you can't just do three chicken nuggets.
Not About That Life!
Being broke is real though, you know you're broke when you just become vegetarian by accident
because the Ramon noodles with chicken cost 37¢ more.
Not About That Life!
People who scream at the gym. Bro, what are you doing?
I just wanna go up to them and ask them: "Why are you screaming? You're not even lifting
weights. You're at the water fountain right now. Why are you screaming?"
Not About That Life!
And something I hate even more than that, is when people are super muscular. They are
jacked, ripped, maybe on steroids, but they have no athletic ability whatsoever. Yeah,
OK, you can lift 315 pounds, but can you dribble this basketball though...without looking like
an 8-year-old child?
Such a waste. It's like a nice looking car with no engine or hand-eye coordination.
Not About That Life!
And I hate when you pick these people up on your basketball team cause they look like
they can ball. They look like they can get rebounds. They look like they've played a
sport in their life once. And then you realize as soon as they touch the basketball...you've
made a mistake.
Forget throwing alleys to this guy, you're just happy that he's catching your passes.
Not About That Life!
The fact we still have a team called the Redskins. I'm a Cowboys fan, so take that however you
wanna take it. But if there were a team called the Blackskins, the Yellowskins, or the Brownskins?
Someone is dying. There will be riots. It's like we only care about minorities if they're
growing. No one cares about Little Foot...and umm. Is that racist? That's...I probably shouldn't...
Not About That Life!
That's all I have for this week. I asked you guys on Snapchat what you guys were Not About
That Life and here's what you had to say:
When you want to serenade a girl on Snapchat, but you don't have 3 hands, Not About That
Life.
When people text you, asking you to call them when they could've just called you in the
first place, Not About That Life!
When people creep up so close behind me in a lineup that I can feel them breathing on
my neck, Not About That Life!
When your phone's at 20% and you broke your phone charger, Not About That Life!
When share a Netflix account with someone and then too many people are on it so you
can't watch Friends, Not About That Life!
When you're at the park working out, and all the parents of the little kids look at you
weird, Not About That Life.
Great job this week guys. Leave a comment down below, what are you Not About That Life?
Or tweet me @ScooterMagruder for your chance to be featured on the next episode.
As always, new videos every Sunday. No Jugamos Juegos. Throw me the alley.